Twisted
by Mooncat99
Summary: What if Keith had died in the middle of the first season? Would that leave Veronica all alone? LoVe.
1. Getting The News

Title: Twisted

Author: Mooncat

Summary: What if Keith had died in the middle of the first season? Would that leave Veronica all alone? LoVe.

Rating: K+

Warnings: A choicy word here or there, nothing major. Oh, apart of the death of a main character of course, but only right in the beginning.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Veronica Mars. Just burrowing them for my own little pleasure.

Author's Note: This is yet another AU that kicks off sometime after 'An Echolls Family Christmas'.

_**Twisted**_

**Chapter 1: Getting The News**

Veronica's voiceover:

_If someone who'd have told me this morning that I'd end up falling asleep in Logan Echolls' arms, I would have smiled brightly and started to carefully back away, my hand slipping into my bag for my tazer. As soon as I would have been safely away from the clearly mad person, I'd have yanked out my cell phone and placed a call to the nice men in white to come this instantly and get this lunatic off the streets. Really. No kidding here. I mean, Logan and I can't even be in the same radius of ten yards without us being at each other throats. That's how it is between archenemies and there's no doubt whatsoever about us being that. _

_But I see that I'm moving a bit fast, so perhaps I better start at the beginning. First of all though I should probably explain where we are here, because if you don't understand where I come from, you won't understand who I am._

_Okay, so this is Neptune, a rather small little town in California, perhaps two hours away from LA. I go to Neptune High, also known as a circle of hell, where you'll find two types of people: One, you have the ones who are someone, or rather said whose parents are someone in this world and therefore, they have all the money in the world behind them. And yes, the bunch is as snobbish as it sounds like. Then you have the people whose parents are working for the billionaires and as you naturally don't get much of an allowance and your chance of getting into a good college depends on a scholarship and what little else you'll earn until then, even you work for them already. _

_Middleclass? Non-existent in Neptune. _

_So of course, there's this always ragging war between the have and not haves here in Neptune and most starkly observable right here in Neptune High. _

_Me? I'm definitely part of the not-haves, just that my after school job is slightly different than most others of my classmates. I work for a P.I. Actually, I work for my dad, but he is the P.I. and he very grudgingly lets me takes pictures for his cases once in a while, giving me a relief from my desk duty. What he doesn't know, or at least silently tolerates while acting like he doesn't know is that I take on some of the smaller cases when he's too busy. I do want to go to Stanford, you know, so the more money I earn, the better and you can earn better with a little P.I. work than with a job as a waitress. Plus, lately, I've gotten quite a reputation to solve little mysteries for my school mates – if they have enough cash, which is almost never an issue. _

_Yep, I'm quite the busy bee. _

_Ah, here we are: Neptune High lunch area. Perfect demonstration object of class separation. The tables down on the ground in the windy part of the yard, a lot of them in the bright sun? Those are for the unfortunate kids not born in the distinct 90909 post zip code where all the rich and famous live. Also fondly known as the 09ers. The tables on the higher grounds, closer to the buildings and with lots of shadow provided? Yep, that's where the 09ers usually have their lunch._

_Now see that table between the rich and poor, with a lonely girl sitting at it? _

_That's me. And no, I don't sit there because I'm the only one representing the non existent middleclass. I sit there because I'm that girl who everyone hates, with no friends but a reputation that would make Mata Hari blush. Okay, okay, I do overdo it here a bit, perhaps._

_Fact is that since beginning of this school year things look a lot better. For one, usually, I'm not eating alone anymore, because, get that, I actually do have a friend again. That hadn't been my goal when I cut down Wallace Fennel from the flagpole, where the PCHer, the local motor bike gang, had tagged him to in revenge for him having a part in getting two of their members arrested. My goal had been to get through yet another year of high school without much trouble and that included not daring to trust someone. Wallace thought so differently and before I knew it, I had a friend again. _

_And you know what?_

_It feels damn good. _

_Unfortunately though, Wallace isn't at school today as he had gotten a bad case of flue. Two days now without my very own BFF and already I feel myself giving in a little into self-pity. Perhaps it's the season, not long after Christmas and New Year, your typically depressing, sunny January. Or perhaps it was that a foolish part of myself had hoped that perhaps, things would be a bit different after the holidays. _

_I don't know why, but I did. _

_Of course though, nothing had changed. I'm still the girl that almost everyone hates, mostly though by one Logan Echolls. But as he is something like the unofficial king of the 09ers, all the others follow his example and right now that is to hate and ignore me, unless you can make a good dig against me. Okay, so yeah, Logan actually had yet to make a nasty comment my way since the three days he's back at school, but he still doesn't act as if I actually exist. _

_It used to be different, you know? There was a time where I and Logan had been friends. I used to sit there, at the prestigious 09er tables. Not because I had the necessary cash to be allowed past the velvet rope of course. The only reason I got a green card was that my best friend happened to be Lilly Kane, daughter of software mogul Jake Kane. Her brother, Duncan Kane, was my boyfriend for a while, that also helped a lot for them tolerating me. And then there was Logan Echolls, Lilly's on and off again boyfriend since junior high, Duncan's best friend since kindergarten. No wonder we got to be friends as well, right? And we were real friends, not some obligatory friends because we both were associated with the Kanes. _

_But that time is long past. First, Duncan broke up with me without no reason, at least not one he ever told me. And shortly after that, Lilly had been found murdered by her pool. At that time, my dad was the sheriff, so he got to investigate her murder. He had the nerve to suspect Jake Kane of murdering her. Within seven weeks, my dad was run out of the sheriff's department. My mom wanted to move away, not able to live with the loss of prestige and all the nasty comments being thrown our way after that. But Dad wanted to stay here and so did I. We Mars' are not in the habit of running away, even if gets tough. And tough it was. Mom split a couple of weeks later, abandoned us. Perhaps not quite on her own free will, but still, she left us. And as I had decided to stand by my father, I got shunned. Logan, furious with me, launched the word and the attack and within weeks not even the lowest scum at school would risk to be seen with me in fear of drawing the hate his way. _

_At first I tried to act as if I didn't care about that. Sure, I cried a lot. At that time I hadn't learned yet to build up a wall around myself in order to protect me so it never had taken Logan or one of his 09er buddies long to render me to tears. But still, I tried to live as nothing had changed. So one day I went to a 09er party. Bad idea. Someone handed me a drink, you know, your basic rum-coke with roofie and the next thing I know is that I wake up with my underwear on the floor and _hurting

_Nice way to loose your virginity, don't you think so too?_

_I never found out who did it. And I never told my dad. He didn't need to know about it, it wasn't as if he could have done anything. Probably, he would just have blamed himself. But there are only two people to blame: me, for being so stupid to go to Shelley Pomroy's party in the first place and then being even more stupid to drink a drink I didn't know from where it had come – and the bastard that had done that to me. At least, I hope it's only one bastard. _

_Rumor has it that I did most of the guys present at that party. And since then I managed to do the football, the baseball, the lacrosse and the swimming team I believe. Boy, it's a wonder I can still walk at all._

_But it sure taught me to really not care about my so called ex friends anymore. So I embraced my outcast being, cut my hair and grew sarcastic and witty. Now, when Logan or one of his buddies sent a nasty remark my way, I gave it back with the same biting viciousness. Someone wanted to screw with me? Not anymore. First he had to get past my tazer. Someone pulled a prank on me? I pranked back, revenge suddenly a big word in my vocabulary. _

_And I build up that protective wall so they can't hurt me anymore._

_I may have let Wallace in. And there's even some sort of weird friendship going on with Weevil, leader of the PCHers. Yeah, I know. Bad guy. But really, he isn't so bad – for a biker. And yeah, I admit it, there are Meg and Mac, one a former 09er friend, the other a new friend and computer freak. But the wall is still in its place and I have no intentions to let it crumble down. I know I can't afford to. _

_I know Logan._

_As long as he hates me, I'm just not safe. _

_And the hate may have cooled down over the past few months – but it is still there._

_Or that's at least what I've thought._

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ_

With a sigh, I pushed my tray away, not really feeling adventurous enough to risk eating the brown something, supposedly to be risotto with chicken. And once again I glanced over to the 09er tables.

Briefly, my eyes met with a pair of brown eyes and hurriedly, I looked away again. The least I could need was for Logan to start his rumors about me stalking Duncan again. Funny thing was that I even had looked at Duncan. Though I did wonder if his parents ever mentioned to him just why Jake had lost it at the Echolls' Christmas party and therefore had left early, dragging his wife behind her. As he acted civilly towards me I guess they didn't. Big surprise. No, I actually had looked at Logan, trying to gauge how he was feeling.

We're enemies now, but still… we were friends once and I've seen the shock on his face when that lunatic stalker had stabbed his father, right in front of his eyes and the eyes of at least a dozen party guests. If my dad hadn't intervened, his father would probably be dead now and not recovering well and, according to the tabloids, already back at home.

Of course the whole thing had been a blast for the tabloids. Not a day had gone by since then where there hadn't come out a new article about Aaron Echolls' apparently many affairs, which one of them having led to the attempt on his life, in his own home, on his own fucking Christmas party. It was disgusting even if it was sadly only common for movie actors and their families to find themselves and their tragedies exploited by the press.

I remembered though just how much Logan hated that part of his life. Many times I had listened to his rant about the paparazzi camped out in front of his home and even more times I witnessed him having his sick jokes with them. And sometimes, I've seen him loose his cool around them and make a scene – which of course had only made a bigger tabloid the next day.

So I could only imagine how he felt right now, especially as his school mates, at least the non 09ers, were only too happy to make their biting comments of their own, drawing pleasure in the fact that for once, Logan was at the other end of being made fun of. I hadn't jumped on that wagon, despite our history. It just wasn't right and I didn't found it in myself to hurt him like that, well aware that he hadn't had any qualms to make digs at my mother leaving and being an alcoholic on top of that time and time again.

But that's the difference between us. He's a jackass. While I just have the reputation to be a bitch.

If anyone would have ask me why exactly I kept looking over at Logan, I'd have told him that I just wanted to see if he'd recovered enough for me to go to him and demand the money I've won at the poker night that fateful evening. After all, I didn't want to seem heartless and only after money. And actually, it wasn't that untrue. I did want that money, I had won it fair and square after all. But it wasn't just that.

What else it was, I rather did not want to dwell about though.

Suddenly, I grew aware that the crowd around me had quieted down considerably. Curious, I looked up. It didn't take long to find the reason for the sudden refocus in the lunch area. There was vice principal Clemmons, followed by Sheriff Don Lamb. Yep, that would explain it. Though we've grown used to random locker searches, the school's rather useless attempt to fight against the augmenting consume of drugs by underage kids, we do not see Clemmons and the sheriff in the lunch break often. Especially not if Lamb even brought two more of his deputies with him.

Arching an eyebrow, I watched them walking over the school yard, thinking about why Lamb could be here with that much reinforcement. I hadn't heard anything at all and I tend to learn of planned visits of the school by the sheriff's department ahead of most everyone else, even Clemmons. It has its uses to be the daughter of the ex-sheriff and now local P.I.

They came closer and suddenly, I felt unease settling down in my stomach. It looked as if they were heading towards me. Frowning, I met Lamb's eyes, full of determination but also – reluctance? It's no secret that the sheriff and I don't have the best of relationships. I think he's an idiot and I do blame him for my dad getting fired. I'm pretty sure he leaked the video of Lilly's crime scene that appeared in the net six weeks after her murder and for which Dad took the fall and had to go. And there's the thing of him laughing at me when I've come in to report the rape, his only advise for me to 'go see the wizard'. Yeah, yeah I think it's safe to say that I hate him. Which meant that I used every opportunity to ridicule him and show that he's an incompetent fool. Not a very hard job, believe me. So yeah, of course he hates me back. And each time he thinks he has something against me, he's gleeful like a little boy before Christmas.

Certainly not reluctant.

The uneasy feeling growing in my stomach, I looked at his deputies. There was Sack, who avoided looking at me, solemn face in place. But it was only until I looked at the second deputy and recognized him that my heart stopped and I suddenly knew why they were here.

Sam Hunter. My dad's partner for eight years before dad became the sheriff. Then his right hand, second in command. Now damned to desk duty and archive filing because Lamb didn't trust him to be his man. Which was probably his only smart conclusion ever. Sam had and always would stand by my father.

And I _knew_.

And God, I wished I didn't. I didn't want to hear it. Didn't want it to be true. But I was a cop's daughter and so I knew that there was no escape. I needed to hear it, needed to let them tell me exactly what had happened for my world to shatter to a billion little shards again. Only worse this time.

I gulped and tried to speak. Failing, I shook my head and tried again. "Which one?" I simply asked.

I saw that Clemmons looked from me to the sheriff, frowning. I bet Lamb hadn't told him just why he so urgently needed to see me that there was no time for another student to come fetch me and bring me to Clemmons' office. This was just like him, to come give me such news in front of the whole school.

Neither of them answered though, so, grinding my teeth, I forced myself to glare up at Lamb. "Which one?" I repeated, tensely.

"Ronica," Sam said softly at that moment, stepping forward. One look into his face and I had my answer.

I closed my eyes, unable to see his pain and his regret any longer. Deep down I had known that it had to be my dad, I just had hoped... Otherwise, Dad would have been here now. But he wasn't. And he would never be again.

A sob broke out of me but I held a tight grip on myself. I wouldn't loose it, not here, not in front of the whole school, not in front of Lamb. I'd rather die to give Lamb that satisfaction.

"How?" I instead demanded to know.

"Ronica, kitten, you really…"

My head snapped up to stare intently at Lamb. "How," I repeated, interrupting Sam's attempts to console me. I couldn't afford that, not now, perhaps never. If he so much as touched me, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold the breakdown off any longer. And I couldn't. Not here. Not with all these people hating me watching me.

Perhaps Lamb suddenly realized just what he had done by insisting on giving me such news in public, but his expression suddenly softened, grew gentle. I couldn't support it. I needed him to stay the ass he is. I needed to hate him and be able to concentrate on my hate for him. "How," I repeated for a third time and dimly, I was aware that my voice had risen.

"He was shot," Lamb finally told me straight out.

I could hear gasps from around me, even one from Clemmons I think. My fingernails dug deeply into my palms, so hard I was fisting my hands. They draw blood, but I didn't notice, didn't care. My breath was coming quicker now and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it back much longer. That I needed to get out of here and if it was only around the corner. But first there was still something I needed to know.

"Where?"

There was again a slight pause, but this time, I just glared at Lamb. With a sigh, he shook his head. "Right in front of his office," he answered reluctantly.

I stored that information away for later, but it wasn't what I wanted to know. "No. _Where_?" I asked again, shaking my head once before fixing my eyes back onto Lamb.

"Ronica, no, don't do this to yourself," Sam protested, stepping even closer towards me.

Quickly I got up, putting some distance between me and Sam and faced Lamb once again. "_Where_?"

Damn it, had I really to repeat every question twice or even more times?

Lamb hesitated only a moment, before he shrugged, ignoring the glares he got from his deputies. "Into his back from across the street," he finally answered me. And then more gently. "He died on the spot."

So Dad never had a chance.

I chocked and I knew my time was up. I couldn't hold it back any longer. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Sam stepping towards me, saw in his eyes that he wanted to take me into his arms. No.

No, no, no, no!

I loved Sam, but that was the least I could need now. His arms feeling so much like my dad's but not anything like him at the same time. I _couldn't_. So I kept shaking my head, backing away from Sam, from Lamb, from Sacks who still couldn't look at me and from Clemmons and his pitiful, solemn but also angry face. My vision blurred and I had every intention to turn and bail out of there the fast I could. Away, just away. But of course, life once again didn't go how I wanted it to. Instead, I suddenly stumbled. No idea over what. I didn't even try to catch the fall. For all I cared I could hit my head and die, if I was lucky enough.

But someone caught me. And when I tried to push away from the arms that had caught me, I found myself unable to as the same arms now hugged me, drawing me against a strong chest. A chest and arms that carried a familiarity I recognized immediately, despite not having felt it in over a year and not expecting to ever feel it again.

Logan.

I did the only thing I could do at that time. I lashed out at him, trying to free myself. But his arms wouldn't bulge, not letting go of me. So I started to hammer my fists against his chest as sobs started to break out of me. He let me, didn't wince one, his arms only holding me closer, tighter.

He said nothing, at least not to me. He did have something to say to Lamb though, and everyone else who was watching the real life drama unfold right in front of their eyes.

"Go."

And a moment later, his voice hard and angry like I've only heard it once, after Lilly's death, spoke again. "_Go!_ You've done enough, now get the fuck away from her. Everyone. Get. Lost."

I didn't see if his barking order was being followed. By that time, the truth and reality of what had happened hit me full frontal.

My dad was gone. My dad was dead. Killed, cowardly from behind.

My dad.

"Daddy."

With that heartbroken whisper, I stopped fighting against Logan. I gave up, crumpled down. Suddenly, I was holding on to him for dear life. And his arms continued to hold me as I fell apart in his arms.

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Veronica's voiceover:

_I don't remember much of the rest of that day. At some point I was aware that Logan was driving me away from school. The next moment I know, Back-Up is whining, pressing his body against me as I bury my head into his neck, crying uncontrollably. _

_Mostly, I remember Logan. That he has been there, never leaving me alone. Holding me. His hands stroking over my back, my hair, my arms. His voice whispering the same soft words time and time again to me. And finally, me giving in to the exhaustion and letting sleep take over while I'm lying in Logan's arms, on his bed, and once again, his soft words washed over me for a last time, following me into my sleep._

"_You're not alone."_

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

TBC!

_(Author's Note: Well, if you want me to. I know it's basically a bad idea to begin yet another story... and I fought off this particular bunny for half a year now. But after finally seeing 'Not Pictured' I was assaulted yet again with this bunny, worse than before (not to forget thanks to a certain noticable pushing of one certain Flynn as well). I'm not a strong person, not there, so I succumbed today and wrote it down. Hope you'll like it. It will get more cheerful with time, don't worry. For now though it needs to be sad and I do hope that you could enjoy it anyway.)_


	2. Dealing

**Chapter 2: Dealing**

If someone had told me that my day would end up with Veronica Mars in my bed, even in my arms, I would have cracked up with laughter. Once I'd calmed down, I'd have called the nice boys in white to remove that lunatic from the streets.

Seriously.

_Veronica Mars?_

Sure, she's hot. There never has been a doubt about that, not when she was twelve and not now either. Before, it was a sweet kind of hot, innocent. Not it's rather the aggressive form of hot with her having learned to use that great body of hers to her advantage.

Then she's blond and rumor has it that I have a weakness for blondes. Which isn't true per se. I also like other hair colors. But yeah, one could say that blonde's a favorite of mine.

And last but not least, she's witty and intelligent, loves sarcasm probably as much as I do and is basically pretty funny. Not to mention cute when she's angry or annoyed, which she happens to be a lot nowadays.

But she's Veronica Mars and that should explain the impossibility of the current situation.

Because we just happen to be enemies and generally, I'm not fond of the concept of sleeping with the enemy.

Yet, here she was, in my bed, in my arms, and it's where I brought her to myself and, as I recognized, it's also where I wanted her to be.

To be honest, I'm afraid of what she'll do if someone doesn't watch over her. Usually, I wouldn't say that Veronica's likely to do something to herself, but on the other side I guess a person can only take so much and the girl that fell apart in my arms today had nothing to do anymore with the strong, confident Veronica I know.

Of course she had just learned that her dad was dead. Me? I'd have celebrated. But contrary to me, she loves her dad, doesn't hate him. He's her world.

I should know.

It's because of her love to her dad that I lost her.

We used to be friends, you know? From the moment she smiled at me, not caring a fuck that I'm Logan Echolls, son of three times Academy Award winner Aaron Echolls and actress Lynn Lester. She smiled at me and simply offered me a tour of the school which ended with us having ice-cream in a small ice parlor away from where the 09ers usually hang around and we became friends. When we learned the next day that our best friends both are Kanes, mine Duncan and hers Lilly, we had a good laugh and took it as a sign that our friendship obviously was destined.

Most people who remember that me and Veronica were friends once thought it was just because we were both hung up on the Kanes and therefore were forced to hang out together. I let them, but truth is that it wasn't like that. We were true friends. Hell, she was my second best friend as unlikely as that seems. We spent a lot of time together, just the two of us, talked a lot, had a lot of fun. When I started to date Lilly, and later when she and Duncan became a couple as well, we spent less time with each other, of course – but we still managed to go to that ice parlor from time to time, our little secret place, none of us ever having gone there with someone else.

The problem when you're friends with your girlfriend's best friend is, that in the end, she always stays her best friend in the first place. And I sort of knew that and honestly, Duncan would have come first with me as well. But when she went and ratted me out to Lilly for me kissing that girl, whatever her name was, without even bothering to give me a chance to explain first, I was furious with her. And it hurt. Somehow it had felt like a betrayal of the friendship _we_ did have as well.

I started to cool down, seeing that she just did what she had to do, not liking it very much. But then Lilly died and it was so easy to blame her. If she hadn't rat me out, I'd still have been together with Lilly and would have been there, leaving Abel Koontz no chance to kill her. It was unfair, I know, but I needed some vent for the overwhelming pain and rage I felt after Lilly's death and she was there, an easy target.

_Then _Keith Mars started to stubbornly interrogate Jake Kane, honestly suspecting him of being able to kill his own daughter, instead of being out there and do everything in his power to find Lilly's true killer. And I really got furious. It still didn't compare in the slightest to the rage I felt when I confronted Veronica about what the fuck her dad was doing – and realized that no matter what, she'd stay with him, back him up.

In that moment I started to hate Veronica Mars and have ever since then.

I glanced at the girl in my arms, finally succumbed to her exhaustion – and with a little help of the mild sleeping powder I've mixed into the water I more or less forced her to drink. Tears were still running down from under her closed lids, even in her sleep. With a sigh, I stroke a stray hair of hers out of her face.

Do I? Do I still hate Veronica?

No.

And it isn't just because of the tragic news she received today. To be honest, my hate towards her started to vanish already quite some time before. I guess it started when we had a first, if brief honest talk in ages after she had borrowed me her tape of last year's homecoming for the memorial video of Lilly. It was then that I allowed myself to remember her as the friend she used to be and not just the friend who had betrayed me and turned her back on me at the time I would have needed her most. Ever since then I felt my anger towards her cooling down. And the fact that it hurt so damn much each time she suspected me of this or that was another pointer that things were changing between me and Veronica yet again, because really, why should I care what one Veronica Mars thought of me?

A change I didn't want and fought against it all I could. Knowing myself, I probably would have won that particular fight. But then Christmas happened. The poker game and that damn party of my mother. She investigated who had stolen the money and I couldn't help but think how cute she was doing her Nancy Drew stuff. It irritated the hell out of me. She blackmailed me into hosting the second poker night, facing my mother's wrath to dare organize such a thing on the evening of her big party and it was even cuter, which in turn irritated me even further. Then she laid out just how it had been Sean and how it couldn't have been anyone else and I was actually speechless with amazement. Sure, I've known she was doing all that P.I. work for her father and her schoolmates and despite having heard of her success, even witnessing it myself a few times, I somehow still had never given it to her. Because I made the mistake to mistake her with the soft, innocent girl she used to be. That night I finally recognized that she really was that good at that stuff – and that she wasn't anything like the girl I used to know anymore. A thought that surprisingly saddened me as much as it infuriated me.

It didn't help that she just went and shoved that fact further under my nose by sitting down and dealing the cards like an actual pro, smiling smugly. And then she proceeded to relieve us of our money, not baiting an eyelash as she time and time again bluffed and conned – and won. Boy, that girl could poker.

Where the hell did she learn to poker like that?

I didn't know but I was pretty sure that it wasn't a recent ability of hers. She must have learned years ago to play like that – when we had still been friends. Yet, I had had no idea about that and I started to wonder just what else I didn't know about the girl that had been my second best friend for four years. And at the same time I started to finally understand just why this girl had been Lilly Kane's best friend. Let's face it, Lilly and Veronica had as much in common as a snake and a snail. Don't get me wrong, I loved Veronica and wouldn't have missed her friendship but even I had trouble seeing her as Lilly's best friend. But she was and I remembered that when I had asked Lilly just about that one day, she had just laughed, telling me that one day, I would understand.

Typical of her to have been right once again.

That night, I understood. First by watching her telling us her little 'who had done it' story in truest Agathe Christie style and then when she literally aced in poker, leaving us idiots not the slightest chance. There was more to one Veronica Mars that one would give it to her, even if you've known her pretty well. And later, after that bitch had stabbed my father and all hell had broken out, I understood again. More important, I remembered just why this girl had been one of my closest friends for years.

I remembered the moment her small hand had slipped into mine while I watched my mom clutching hysterically at my unconscious, bleeding dad and had gently squeezed it, not letting go until the ambulance finally arrived to take away my father to the hospital, Mom riding with him. And once again, as I stood there, staring after the ambulance, she took my hand – to press her car keys into my palm, telling me to go, that she and her dad would take care of the things there. With a last squeeze, she had turned and went over to the chef of the catering service. And I had left for the hospital in her car.

How ironic was that? Everything that had gone down between us since Lilly's death, the hate, the nasty remarks, the pranks and revenge acts and yet there she was, being there for me and doing everything in her power to help me get through that night.

That wasn't the girl I hated. That was the girl that had been my friend. And ever since then I missed just that girl so much. I was tired of hating her, tired of fighting against my instinct that told me loud and clear that I had been a fool to let go of that friendship. That I'd have needed her so much – and vice versa.

Worse. I grew aware that I _wanted_ her back.

But really… Was that even possible after everything that had happened? I understand her and her decisions better now, but still, it had hurt so damn much that in the end she rather stood with her father than with her friends. Did I really want to risk being disappointed of her again? Did _she_ want to risk it? I'm no fool, I know that I've hurt her as well. I've seen it in her eyes, heard it in the slight bitterness her voice carried sometimes whenever she spoke to me.

She whimpered in her sleep and automatically, I drew her closer, my hand running in smoothing circles over her back.

Of course all of that doesn't matter anymore.

The moment I realized what was happening with one look onto her face, watching Clemmons and the cops approach her, I knew that it didn't matter anymore. All that did matter was that she'd need someone to be there for her now and if she wanted it or not, I'd be there for her. Her dad may be gone, but she'll have me. Not that I could ever replace her father or anything like that – but I'll be there and make sure she knows that she's not alone.

We used to be friends. We can be again.

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When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in my bed and in the first moment, I didn't remember why that bothered me so much. Then though I remembered, and alarmed, I shot up, looking around. No Veronica, no Back-Up. Had she left? But where to? And just what exactly did she plan to do?

I jumped up and made a beeline for my door when at that moment, she came back in. She was still pale and her face was even more expressionless than Darth Vader's mask, but she seemed to be okay. Alive. I breathed with relief, then narrowed my eyes. "Where have you been?"

She didn't look at me when she answered, her voice toneless. "Bach-Up needed to go out. I let him out into your backyard, hope that's okay."

I frowned. Something wasn't right here. She was way too – calm. "Sure, no problem. I just…" I trailed off, not really wanting to admit that I'd feared she had done something stupid.

She showed no reaction though as she walked by me and sat down onto one of my chairs, her head down and her hair denying me a peek at her face while she rhythmically stroked Back-Up.

Biting my lip, I watched her for a moment, trying to figure out what to do now. Yesterday had been easy. While she had cried, I had known what to do. Not that there was much. All I could do was hold her and see to it that I got her away from school so she'd have a little privacy. I grinded my teeth as I remembered the unforgivable way the sheriff had broken the news to her. Sure, it was no secret that there was no love lost between the Mars family and Sheriff Lamb, but really, to go confront her in front of the whole school was downright cruel and sadistic and I know that I would always hate him from now on for doing that to Veronica. I've never liked him anyway, but now he definitely had gone too far. And I already planned to let him know that. It _has_ its uses to be an Echolls.

Once I had her safely at home though, I remembered Back-Up and I had known immediately that I needed to somehow get him. And a few things for her couldn't hurt either. There had been only two problems: First, I had no idea where she lived now and second, there was no way in hell that I'd leave her. Nor was I going to take her home, pretty sure that the reporters were already swarming around her place. Keith Mars may not have been a celebrity, but the former sheriff getting killed right in front of his office was for sure going to make the news, especially if they remembered the whole fiasco with Lilly. And I knew they would remember and have no qualms to dig that one out again as well.

Thankfully though, some girl geek with blue strays in her hair had come over to me just as I buckled Veronica into my car, wordlessly pushing a bag I vaguely recognized as Veronica's into my hand, her sad and worried eyes never leaving Veronica's face. She had turned around and was gone before I could say anything. Not that I had wanted to. All I had wanted was to get Veronica as far away from school as possible.

So I had fished out her cell from the depths of her bag and had searched her address book for the kid she hang around with nowadays. It didn't take long to find his name. It took a considerably longer time to first convince his mother to let me talk to him, apparently he was sick with the flue, and then to explain to him why Logan Echolls called him to tell him to bring Back-Up and a few things for Veronica over to my house. Of course I probably should have told him straight out that Keith was dead instead of just basically ordering him around, but I really was more worried about Veronica than to worry about the feelings of a guy I didn't know at all. Anyway, an hour later, Fennel had dropped off Back-Up and a full bag for Veronica. Apparently, the boy had demanded to be let in, but I had instructed the guards to not let anyone in and when I told them about Fennel going to show up, I never revoked that order for him. I didn't thought about it, frankly said, though I guess Fennel and probably even Veronica would have to say something about that sooner or later.

Of course I'm not sure just how much Veronica really remembered of yesterday. She had been so broken, so lost in her own pain, crying, sobbing and crying again. After her initial fight against me, when she had lashed out at me in her pain and anger, she had grown seemingly weak willed. At one point she had just done whatever I told her to do and frankly said, that had freaked the heck out of me. That wasn't anything like her.

Then again, this was an extremely extreme situation…

But yeah, I at least had an idea what to do with a crying Veronica. Now that the tears were gone I had no clue what to do or say. I could ask if she was okay, but that was ridiculous. She was very much not okay, that much was obvious.

"Want something for breakfast?" I finally asked softly in lack of a better idea.

"No."

Okay.

"Want at least something to drink?" I asked after a moment.

"No."

Okaaaay.

With a sigh I decided that perhaps it was best to just leave her alone. Well, I wasn't going to _leave_ her alone, but I could stop trying to make conversation or ask stupid questions. I felt the need to go to the bathroom though and with a hesitant look her way, I quickly went. Once I've hurried back, she didn't seem to have changed her position at all. Still leaving her alone, I went over to my closet and at least changed my shirts. Probably I should have taken a shower, but right then I didn't feel comfortable to leave her alone that long – even though I don't need long if I want to.

I didn't know where this unwillingness to leave her out of my eyes had come from, but it was as it was and I just followed my instinct like I usually do.

"How comes Back-Up is here?"

Her voice startled me and I turned to look at her. Her position was still the same, giving me no chance to get a good look at her face.

"I asked Fennel to bring him here. There's also a bag with a few things for you," I answered, trying to sound neutral.

"Wallace? He's sick."

All in the same, expressionless voice. God, how I missed her biting sarcasm right now!

"Almost back to normal. He wanted to go to school today. I did advise him though to be sick for a couple of more days," I told her with a shrug, sitting down onto my bed.

She fell silent again. When her silence prolonged, I guessed that that was that for the moment and looked around, trying to find something to occupy myself with. Usually I'd probably play video games but I had the feeling that the sounds of guns and explosions weren't the right thing for her to hear right now.

"And why are we here?"

I looked back to her, confused. "Hmm?"

"Why are we here?" she repeated, her hand stroking Back-Up still the only movement of hers.

I frowned, understanding dawning on me. Oh… that.

"It just was the best place I could think off to bring you to," I said quietly, avoiding giving a direct answer. "They're going to find you sooner or later. Here at least you'll be safe from the hounds."

Silence again so I picked up my search for something to do. Anything.

"I don't need your pity."

"What?" My head flew back around to her.

This time, she moved. Her head rose and she glared at me out of angry, green eyes. "I don't need nor want your pity."

I sighed and shook my head. "It's not pity, Ronnie," I said softly.

"Yeah right!" she snorted and jumped to her feet to stalk over to me, Back-Up looking up at her out of startled, worried eyes. "Fifteen months of animosity and hate, you never leaving an opportunity out to humiliate and hurt me or if not that to simply ignore me and give me the cold shoulder. Fifteen months of letting me feel your wrath and then boom, from one second to the other that is simply forgotten and you're nice to me again all of a sudden? But oh, wait, it's not that sudden after all, is it? You should have told me that all it took for you to forgive me whatever horrible thing I've done to you in your eyes is for one of my parents to die. Perhaps I could have arranged it sooner then!"

Okay. I knew she was hurting. Knew that she was lashing out, taking her anger out on the nearest, suitable person. I knew that. It's what I had done after Lilly's murder, my victim being Veronica. So I understood. Didn't mean it still didn't hurt though.

"Ronnie," I started as softly as before.

"_Don't_ call me Ronnie!" she snapped, her eyes blazing.

"I always called you Ronnie," I said, frowning. It was true. It always had been Ronnie. Basically she hated it, but that never stopped me from keeping calling her like that. At one time she stopped minding and then she even began to like it. Though I was the only one that was allowed to call her like that and I liked that. Actually, it downright bothered me when someone else used that nickname on her. It was _m_y name for her. Even now when Dick sometimes refers to her as Ronnie when he haunts her I feel myself becoming annoyed by that. Friends or enemies, using Ronnie is my privilege.

"No! No, you called that girl Ronnie," she contradicted, her finger pointing to a picture of us and Lilly and Duncan that stood on my night table. After our falling out, I've removed the pictures that showed me and Veronica, but I hadn't been able to remove that one as well. "We both know I'm not that girl anymore. We're not friends anymore. We hate each other!"

My gaze lingered on the picture for a moment, before I looked back up to her. "No, we're not the same as them anymore. We've both changed since then. And yet, we still are the same people, Ronnie. We were friends once. I do remember that."

"Oh really? You could have fooled me there," she said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

"I… Shit…" I murmured, rubbing my eyes. I know I said I wanted to be there for her, do whatever I can to help her through this. But had she really to pick out the matter of our past year to avoid dealing with her father's death? Opening my eyes again, I search her eyes and held them. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I know I've been a jerk. Though you've got to admit that you hadn't been always a sweet little angel either. But… I don't hate you." Her eyes narrowed and I hurried to continue. "I'm tired of hating you, probably because I never really hated you. I was angry, yeah, furious even and I did everything to fuel that fury. But I didn't hate you – couldn't."

She stared at me for a long moment, before closing her eyes and letting her head fall down, her anger gone as suddenly as it had came. She looked so forlorn all of a sudden that the only thing I wanted to do was taking her into my arms. But I knew that right now, this wasn't a good idea.

"And this change of mind, if you want, is not because…" my voice trails off as I see her stiffen, a trembling going through her tiny body. "I wanted to talk to you for a while, especially after Christmas. I just didn't know how. Or what to say once I got you alone somewhere to have that talk. But basically, what I wanted to say is that if you're okay with it, I'm more than happy to leave our little war behind. And…" I took a deep breath. "And perhaps even try to rekindle our friendship, at least to some degree."

"Just like that? Just forget that hell the last year had been, thanks to you?" she asked, not sounding angry again but defeated.

I winced. It had been so easy to turn to enemies. It looked as it was a lot harder though to get back to being friends again. I sighed. "No, not forget. But perhaps move past it?" I asked hopefully.

For a moment, her eyes met mine and then she laughed. A bitter, humorless that I hated instantly. "God Logan, why do you always have to floor me on top of my world crumbling down?" she asked and her voice quavered. "First you toss me aside as if all those years of being friends had never existed when Lilly died and now, now…" Tears sprang out of her eyes and I couldn't hold back anymore. I stood up and had her swallowed up in my arms in an instant. She didn't fight me as I've halfway expected her too, but she didn't react by holding me back either. "…you suddenly want to be friends again? I just don't get you anymore, Logan, and I can't..."

Well, looking at it like that I could understand why she saw a pattern there. I drew her closer. "I don't intend to, Ronnie, really," I whispered into her ear, brushing the back of my hand over her cheek. "But I can promise you here and now that if you'll let me, I'm here for you from now on. I know it won't come back overnight, but you can trust me. Count on me. I'm not going to leave you alone."

She let out a gurgled sound and then surprised me by putting her arms around my neck and burying her face into my neck, sobs wracking her body once again. I simply continued to hold her, murmuring soft reassurances to her. I wasn't telling her that everything was going to be alright. I just assured her again and again that I would be there, that I wasn't leaving again.

It's not much, I know, but what else could I do? I hated to see her hurting so much and the need to comfort her, protect her was overwhelming, instinctive and familiar. Perhaps, it wouldn't be so hard to find back to our friendship after all.

I have no idea just how much time had passed until her sobs finally quieted down again and she now stood, simple holding on to me.

"I need you to do me a favor," she whispered eventually.

I leaned back to look down at her. "Anything," I simply said and meant it. I was more than happy to do something finally.

She lifted her face to me, the tears having dried already, a mask of determination now and I felt the hairs on my neck standing up. I wasn't going to like this.

"I need you to take me down to the morgue," she said quietly, but firmly.

Nope, definitely didn't like it.

I felt my eyes widen and automatically, I shook my head. "No way."

"Please Logan, I need to see him," she insisted though, her eyes wide and pleading now – and so sad. "I need to see for myself that… that… I just have to. And I want to be able to at least say… goodbye… to him… this way," she continued, her voice failing her several times and each time I had to see her struggle to say it anyway.

"Ronnie… I really don't think that's a good idea," I said as gentle as I could.

"Well, I don't care what you think!" she immediately snapped, her eyes narrowing. "He's my father. I have the right to see him! But fine, if you don't want to I can always take a cab," she hissed, shoving me back to go over to where her bag sat on the floor.

"The hell you are," I said not less heatedly and then forced myself to take a deep breath. "Okay, I'll drive you, but I want it noted that I still think it's a bad idea."

"Noted," she replied coldly. But she had turned back to me, her arms tightly crossed over her chest.

I studied her stance for a moment and then frowned. "Now?" I asked incredulous.

She just nodded and looked over to Back-Up. "Is it okay if he stays here? He'll behave."

"Sure, no problem," I murmured, grabbing my jacket.

I watched as she quickly leaned down to ruffle over Back-Up's head and then picked up her bag from the floor. Silently, I opened the door and held it open for her. Avoiding looking at me, she moved past me with her head down.

Shaking my head, I followed her, closing the door after me.

This was such a bad idea.

And where the hell was the morgue anyway?

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I parked in front of the morgue and turned the motor off, glancing at Veronica who had her head turned away from me, gazing out of the window. She hadn't said one word apart of giving me the directions the whole ride over.

On the other hand, what were you supposed to talk about on your way to the morgue? To go see her dead father?

Suppressing a sigh, I looked at the building in front of me. I've learned over the past fifteen minutes that Neptune actually doesn't have a real morgue – just two rooms in the base of the hospital, one to do the autopsies and one to store the dead I guess.

And I so didn't want to see that in real. Just thinking about it was bad enough. Sure, I'm not squeamish, but I draw the line at bodies.

"You don't have to come with me."

I looked back at Veronica, still facing away from me. That's where she was wrong. I did have to. I didn't want her going in there alone. I couldn't let her go through that alone.

With a sigh, I opened my door. "Come on. Let's go," I simply said and got out.

By the time I was around the car, she had gotten out as well and I beeped the car locked. Silently, I followed her as she led me over the parking lot, not to the main entrance of the hospital but to a back door. Dimly, I wondered what I should think about her knowing the way to the morgue that well. What had she been up to this last year for her to know the way by heart?

We entered the building without knocking and once inside, she let me down the corridor until she came to a stop in front of two big swing doors, labeled with 'Morgue'. I guess that's it, I thought resigned, waiting for her next move. Of course I still hoped she would change her mind but my gut told me that within a few moments, I would enter a morgue for the first and hopefully last time in my life. Veronica hesitated though and I felt my hope rising again.

Unfortunately, at that moment, the door swung open and a tall guy with gray, long hair and a beginning baldness stepped out, wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt under the open white coat and there was blazing hard rock inside the morgue.

Okaaaay.

I guess TV shows and books actually don't exaggerate that much when they use a lost hippie with major weird and creep factor time and time again to fill the role of the pathologist.

He had seemed hyper enough, coming out, but the instant his eyes fell on Veronica, he sobered up, sympathy overtaking him.

"Oh Veronica," he exclaimed and the next moment he had engulfed her in a big hug. "I'm so sorry, Sunshine. He was such a great man," he said and he sounded as if he actually meant every word he had said.

I frowned none the less. First, because I wasn't sure how Ronnie was going to take all the hug and sympathy and second, _Sunshine_? Just how well did Veronica know that guy?

Once the guy finally released Veronica again, she pushed her hands deeply into her pockets and tried to give the guy a weak smile – failing miserably. "Thanks Fausto," she said, barely above a whisper.

_Fausto?_

The guy nodded solemnly, then narrowed his eyes, studying her for a moment. With a sigh, he shook his head. "Veronica, no," he said ever so softly.

Frustration flickered over her face before she fixed the guy with her eyes, pleadingly. "Please Fausto. I need to see him."

But the guy shook his head. "First, you know I'm not allowed to let you in. And then, you don't want to see him, remembering him like that. Trust me on this one, Sunshine."

Instantly, her pleading eyes turned to smoldering fury. I was glad I wasn't at the end of that glare for a change. "Don't tell me what I want or need!" She bit her lip and drew in a staggering breath. "Please Fausto. I need to see him, see for myself that… I just have to." Desperation crept into her voice and I felt my heart clench for her again. "You know I have to," she added in a whisper, not looking at him at that but at her feet.

At that moment I knew he would give in. And sure enough, a moment later he cursed very imaginatively and stepped back, waving us in, casting a wary look up and down the corridor. Veronica didn't wait for a second invitation. Reluctantly, I followed her in, trying to brace myself to what awaited me inside.

A body.

Worse, Keith Mars' body, the cold shell of a man I've known for many years and who I actually had liked. The man that had driven me and the others countless times home or had come to pick us up somewhere. And it had been kind of cool. He was driving a squat car after all and a few times, when we had been younger, he had actually turned on the lights and sirens. Plus, he had always been nice to us kids. Not cold tolerance as it had been always the case with Celeste Kane or forced companionship with my parents, he had just been nice. Trusty, just like a sheriff was supposed to be. Good, it hadn't taken long and he had always reserved a warning glare for us boys when we've met but otherwise he always had been kind. He was totally nuts with his over protectiveness of Ronnie of course, but then, most dads were. As a cop, he was just a bit more careful – and harder to fool. But I liked him. Of course then had come the whole Lilly fiasco and I turned to hate him, not able to understand how he could even think for a second that Jake had killed his own daughter.

I still respected him though. And after he had risked his life for my father, saving him, though, if you ask me, that was totally a waste of time, I sure couldn't hate him any longer. I still couldn't understand him but I've remembered that none the less, he was a good man. Actually, it had been my intention to go by his office one day and thank him for his help that day.

Of course I've never gotten the chance to do that. The only thing I could do now was trying to take care of his daughter the way I know he would have wanted someone to take care of her.

To my immense relief, there was no body stretched out in the room we had entered. There was a line walled with little, quadratic doors though and I shuddered, only knowing too well just what may lay behind them.

Veronica though headed straight for a set of doors at the other end of the room and my relief vanished when I realized that after entering the room behind those doors, I would no longer be able to avoid seeing the body.

But just as I, and,as I realized the pathologist as well, moved to follow her, she briefly stopped with a hand on the door, looking back at us.

"No. Stay."

"Ronnie," I protested at the same time as the other guy said "Sunshine" in as a protesting manner and I guess we sported identical deep frowns of disapproval between our eyes.

"I need to do this alone," she simply said and slipped inside, the door falling close behind her.

I exchanged a wary glance with the pathologist – but none of us made a move to follow her.

Fuck.

With a hiss, I started to pace in front of that damn door, glaring at it. Torn between being annoyed by the fact that Ronnie always had to be so _damn_ stubborn – and worry for her being in there alone with the body of her father.

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She had cried again, that much was obvious when she finally emerged from the room again, avoiding to look at me or Fausto.

"Did it help?"

At that sarcastic question, I glared over to the guy. Couldn't he see how hard this was on her already? The last she needed was some jerk rubbing it in! But his eyes were gentle and sad as he looked at Veronica.

She nodded, not daring to speak I guessed. Slowly, she came over to stand by me. Worried, I briefly touched her arm. There was a slight tremor going through her body but she still moved a bit closer. Not close enough to touch me, but closer anyway and the gesture, as small as it was, warmed my heart, despite everything.

"What kind of caliber was it?"

That question brought me crashing to the ground, hard. _What_?

The pathologist's eyes narrowed as he shook his head. "No Veronica. You're not going to do that."

"Do what?" she asked in such innocence that I too narrowed my eyes. I knew her well enough to not buy that one and apparently, Fausto didn't either.

Actually, it seemed as if her answer even angered him.

"You'll leave that alone, Veronica Mars. Let the sheriff do his work," he warned.

Okay, I'm usually not that slow, but what exactly was going on here?

She raised her head to look at Fausto with dangerously gleaming eyes. "Yeah, of course. I'm sure he'll do whatever he can to find the bastard who has killed my father. And he has such a good record of tracking down the right killers."

My eyes widened as the light finally flashed on in my head.

Fuck, no! No fucking way!

"Sunshine…" Fausto sighed.

"No, it's okay. Thanks for… well, thanks," Veronica said briefly and then hurried out of the room.

Quickly, I started to hurry after her, but Fausto stopped me with a hand on my arm. Frowning, I looked impatiently at him.

"Keep watch over her. Don't let her out of your eyes. And for God's sake, don't let her do anything stupid," he downright ordered me, his eyes boring into mine.

I simply nodded then went after her.

That was the plan.

But knowing one Veronica Mars, it would be one hell of a task to do so.

I did mention that she's pigheaded, didn't I?

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TBC!

_(Author's Note: The story had me in its grip, it seems. Of course, the many simply wonderful reviews you guys gave me for the first chapter that blew me away, helped as well. Hope you liked this chapter as well. And yeah, this fic will alter in Logan and Veronica's POV. I just can't resist going a little into Logan's head. It's such a fascinating place to be in!)_


	3. Grieving

**Chapter 3: Grieving**

So far, this was fast becoming the weirdest day of my life. And the hardest, but I chose not to think about that.

It started right with waking up in Logan's arms, his bed even, which definitely was very weird. But what was even weirder was the fact that A) there was not a second of me flipping out about waking up in Logan's arms, his bed even, and B) – that I actually was relieved to wake-up where I woke up.

Of course I guess anything was better than to wake up and face a now cold and empty apartment.

_Dad…_

The next weird thing was letting out Back-Up to poop into three times Academy Award winner Aaron Echolls' backyard. Sure, before, I've been to the Echolls' mansion many times but never with Back-Up. And yeah, of course I removed the poop from the yard. Wouldn't want to give the reporters some story about another disappointed affair of his to have broken into his home to leave poop in front of his door – though I'm pretty sure if it is making the news then I at least throw it right into Aaron's face. God, I really hope no reporter saw me this morning.

In fact, I hope the reporters will just leave me alone. Doubt it though. It tends to draw attention when your father, former sheriff, gets killed from behind right on the street.

Balling my hands, I pushed that thought away. I could _not_ think about that.

Day continued to get weirder when I came back into Logan's room and Logan looked at me with something that looked a lot like a mixture of relief and panic. No idea why. I long ago gave up figuring out one Logan Echolls and frankly said, I just hadn't the strength to try then. Up until then I had been able to occupy myself with the little every day things. Bathroom, letting out Back-Up and…

Yeah, and… On a normal day I would have proceeded to breakfast, my dad having made it or prepared if he had to leave early. I may be seventeen and I've managed to stop dad from making me a lunch packet but I never was able to stop him from making me breakfast.

Guess life took care of that now.

So I was at the end of doing normal thing and I seriously had a hard fight to keep myself from breaking down and render to the sobbing mess like I've been one yesterday. I didn't want that nor could I afford that. Still, when Logan asked if I wanted breakfast I almost had to run to the bathroom.

Surprisingly though he seemed to catch up on my mood and left me alone. Logan Echolls to be mindful and sensitive – who would have thought _that_? I was relieved when he left for the bathroom – for perhaps thirty seconds. Then the silence and emptiness started to get so overwhelming that I was nearly choking by the time he was back. Really fast but it still had felt like an eternity. It gets even better: I was downright glad to see him coming back.

How weird is that?

He still left me alone, just went over to his closet to change shirts before he sat down on his bed. By then I couldn't support the silence anymore, so I asked about how Back-Up had gotten here. I didn't remember much about the previous day but I was pretty sure I'd have remembered us going by our apartment to go pick him up. His simple answer that he had called Wallace floored me. First I was amazed that he even knew that Wallace existed, hell, even had known enough to find and call him, and second, because he had thought of Back-Up at all. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I fear poor Back-Up would have had to wait until morning for me to remember about him. And that when he's all that I've left now.

Which reminded me of Logan's voice, whispering time and time again that I _wasn't _alone. A rather hilarious statement, giving our past. But just because of our past, I found myself believing him, so I got angry with myself. And with him.

Well, at least that was something familiar.

But no, typical him, he had to ruin even that sense of normalcy. He didn't get angry in return. This made me even madder. But he still stayed calm, fuck, he downright stayed understanding. So I lashed out at him, facing him down about the past year, certain that at least that would turn things to normal, with him hating me.

And bang, there came the next surprise of the day. Logan Echolls, apologizing. As if that wasn't mind blowing enough, he continued with assuring me that he never really hated me. That in fact, he wanted to try to move past the last year and give our friendship a try again.

It was then that I gave up. I'll never be able to understand that boy. And God, I didn't know what I wanted more. To believe him, as dangerous as that is, or to wish he would just act normal towards me, instead of – _this_. I had my answer though when he once again took me into his arms, hugged me tightly, whispering reassurances into my ear. I lost it then. It just became too much and I could no longer push the pain and desperateness away.

But he held on. Wouldn't let go. Stayed, just like he continued to promise me.

And the world shifted once again and I found myself trusting Logan. Believing him.

Extremely weird. No, fuck weird. It's totally Twilight Zone.

But that sudden knowledge helped me to calm down again. And remember just why I couldn't just give in and waste the day with crying in Logan's arms. My father was dead. Killed. And I needed to know why, how and most important, by whom.

Logan didn't react well to my plea for him to take me to the morgue. I didn't react well to his unwillingness. But Logan gave in in the end (take _that_: Logan Echolls giving in!) and we were on the way to the morgue.

To see my dad.

I had felt Logan's unease about going to a morgue, guess even badass Logan Echolls had his limits, but he still stayed with me and frankly said, I was glad about it. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do and his mere presence gave me strength, helped me to hold it together. The strange thing about that is that it doesn't even surprise me anymore.

Fausto hadn't been happy to see me. Well, that's not quite true. He was happy to see me, he always is, but not there and then. He just knows me too well. Fausto and my dad were friends for at least thirty years now, both starting to work for the county department at the same time. Every five weeks in those years, he had come over to our place along with Sam, Paul Cotton, the chief of the fire department, and Cliff for their weekly poker evening.

Where else do you think I've learned to poker? And believe me, if you learn to play with those five masters of a poker face, you either have to turn to a pro yourself or you can kiss your money goodbye. I chose to become a pro. It took me years, but now I'm able to relieve them of their money quite well. Logan's round had been a piece of cake against that.

These four men are the best friends of my dad. Unfortunately, that also means they know me too damn well. But of course, it works both ways. They may know me well – but I do know them well as well. So I've known that while I could bring Fausto to let me see my dad, alone, I've also known that he wouldn't tell me anything relevant about the investigation.

So I stole the autopsy report of my dad.

I've been lucky. Fausto must have just ended it so the report had still been lying right there beside my dad, along with the recordings. Thank God I had my camera in my bag. So I photographed the report while I downloaded the record onto my memory stick. I even took a few pictures of my dad. It made me sick, but I needed to find out why and who and even the slightest detail would help.

Do you think I'm cold now? Perhaps I am. But sarcasm and my burning determination to find the bastard who had killed my dad, had taken away my daddy, the only one I had left, is the only thing that keeps me going and not falling apart. I've fallen apart yesterday. And this morning again.

That was enough. Had to be enough.

And believe me, facing the body of my dad, saying goodbye to him, that…

It was…

"Ronnie."

Sniffling, I quickly wiped the few tears away. "I'm okay," I lied.

Logan said nothing, but I could feel his eyes on me. Of course he didn't believe me. He too knows me quite well. Perhaps better than I ever gave him credit for. Not that it needed much knowledge about me to see that I wasn't okay.

My dad's dead, for God's sake!

No, no, no, not thinking about that!

Anything else. But not about dad, lying back there on that cold table and… I knew Fausto had been as careful as he could have been. I mean, he even had put on Santana. Fausto hates Santana. Too Latin touchy for his taste. But Dad loved Santana and so Fausto had put in Santana.

No! Think something else. Something normal. Logan – no, scratch that. Logan's anything than normal anymore. Back-Up. Yeah. Back-Up's good. Concentrate on Back-Up.

Food.

Right!

"Can you drive by the Wal-Mart?" I asked, turning my head to Logan.

He looked at me, incredulous.

"I need food for Back-Up," I explained.

"Oh… Don't worry, I can send the maid for that," he said gently.

Of course he could. How again did I end up staying with a guy who had a maid to send to pick up dog food?

"Don't be ridiculous. The Wal-Marts just around the corner and I know what he needs and what he likes," I replied.

He opened his mouth to protest, I was sure about that, and I glared at him. "Just do it, Logan!"

He shook his head, he sighed, but he pulled into the parking lot of the Wal-Mart three minutes later.

"Just tell me what he needs, I can go get it," he then said.

And leave me alone in his car with my thoughts? I didn't think though. So I just gave him a look and got out of the car.

So that's how it came that I went to buy dog food in the Wal-Mart with Logan Echolls, carrier of several platinum cards if not even an American Express Black card, trailing beside me.

Weird, weird, weird.

And he paid for it. I didn't want to, I protested, but his card had been out awfully fast and then _he_ silenced _me_ with a look. As if it was a big offence that I intended to by the food for _my _dog on my own.

Five minutes later we were back on the road, once again not talking. Usually, you couldn't get Logan to shut up, and now that I actually wished he would talk my ears off to give me something else to concentrate on than the harsh reality that would be my life from now on, he went silent. And it wasn't even an uncomfortable silence. No, nothing like that.

But then, I w already knew that Logan had that in him, to give silent and comforting company. It was one of the things that I valued most in him, back when we were friends. And what I missed so much, once we turned enemies.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. This whole thing with Logan was confusing. Part of me almost wished he would simply act normal towards me. Then again, which normal way? The normal way of the four years when he had been my second best friend? Or the normal way of the past fifteen months? Actually, he acted a lot more like the friend he used to be. But it wasn't quite the same. I couldn't pinpoint it exactly, though it wasn't because of the hate that had been between us since Lilly's death. Somehow his attention just felt a lot more intense this time around.

If that's good or bad? No idea.

For now, I just accepted it. Hell, part of me was even glad about it. Grateful.

Actually, there happened a lot in the past what, twenty four hours, for which I found myself being grateful to Logan Echolls, bane of my existence.

"Thanks," I said very softly, my eyes still closed.

I could feel his eyes glancing my way anyway. I've always been able to feel his eyes on me.

"There's no need to thank me. You'd have done the same for me as well," he said after a moment and I guessed he had looked back to the road as I didn't feel the heaviness of his gaze anymore.

Would I? Would I have done the same? Taken care of him, holding him all day and night while he cried, taken him to my home, looked after him like he had done it for me? I'm not sure. Maybe. I knew at least that if I had done it, my dad wouldn't have minded.

Apropos. I turned my head to look at him, frowning. "And your parents are really okay with me staying over for a few days? I mean, your dad's still recovering, isn't he? I really don't want to…"

"Don't worry about them." Logan interrupted me, his eyes on the road.

I frowned. "Are you sure they don't mind? You know, I can always…"

Briefly, he glanced at me. "They're fine, Veronica. You can stay as long as you want."

Okaaaay.

Change of topic, I got it. I made a mental note though to assure myself with Lynn or Aaron, once I'd see them. So far, we hadn't met. Then again, the house was big and I believe we had been camped out in Logan's room the entire time.

Truth was though that I couldn't stay with Logan forever. I needed to find a place to stay from now on. There was no way I could continue to live in our apartment, even if I could afford it. I just couldn't. But money was an issue anyway. I had no idea how well Dad had looked for me for after his death, but I did know that money had been tight ever since he had lost his job. Hopefully it would be enough to rent some cheap place. I frowned. And how could I get to the money? It was still seven months until I turned eighteen and my mom was gone and basically as good as dead as well. Had Dad put in another legal guardian for me, in case something should happen to him? Who? Surely not Cliff. Sam probably. Perhaps even Fausto. If he had thought about it. What would happen to me if the guardianship wasn't settled? There was Aunt Sheryl in Palm Springs, the closest relative after my Mom. But there was no way that I was going to Palm Springs. Not in the middle of the year. And not when I had to still find Lilly's killer. And now my father's as well.

Fuck.

I needed answers.

And I knew just where to find them.

"Can you turn left at the next corner?"

Again, Logan glanced at me, but this time he didn't even bother to protest. Good boy.

Ten minutes later he pulled to the curb in front of the shabby office building. Logan eyed it and then looked at me. "And what exactly are we doing here?"

"Finding answers," I answered briefly and got out. "This probably will take a while. Why don't you go home? I'll take a cab back."

Logan's only response was to get out of the car and slam the door shut. For a moment I hesitated, not sure if I really wanted him with me when I went to discuss my financial and legal status, but then I knew it would be futile to try to convince him to leave me anyway. Somehow, he seemed adamant to stay with me 24/7.

I take it as a sure sign that I'm loosing my mind that that actually filled me with relief and gratitude.

* * *

"Cliff?"

Startled, Cliff looked up, his eyes widening as he saw me standing in the door to his office/apartment. Hastily, he got to his feet. "Veronica, what on Earth are you doing here?" Then his face fell and he rushed over to me, staggering a bit and the next moment, he had me in a tight hug.

Cliff McCormick hugging me?

Now I've seen it all.

Then I got over my initiate stupor and the smell of alcohol hit me. Looking over Cliff's shoulder, I saw several empty bottles scattered around. And when Cliff let me go, I could see that his eyes were bloodshot. Sadness filled me. I shouldn't be surprised. As far as I knew, Dad had been his only real, close friend.

"I'm so sorry, Veronica," he said and the pain in his voice said it all.

My finger's clenching, I nodded. "So am I," I simply said.

He took a deep breath and turned around. "You didn't need to come. I already made a few calls to arrange the funeral. I'd have come by you tomorrow to go through it with you."

It hit me like a brick.

The funeral.

Oh God.

The funeral. I needed to bury my father.

Oh God.

Next thing I knew was that Logan had me drawn against his chest, holding me why I tried to fight off the panic, the pain.

It took quite a few deep breaths until I leaned away from Logan and turned back to face Cliff, who looked stricken.

"Sorry. I thought that's why…"

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. It's… good that you started to make… arrangements," I forced myself to say and tried to smile. It wasn't very convincing. "Thanks Cliff."

"Anything you need, Veronica. That's the least I can do for you and your dad. Besides, I promised him," he said, looking down.

Promised him what?

I came further into the room. "Actually, that's why I'm here. I need to know what's going to happen now. Who's my guardian? And what's with the money? How much is there? Will it be enough to last me until College?"

He sighed and shook his head, sitting down heavily into his chair. "You don't need to worry about that right now, Veronica."

"Yes, I do," I contradicted.

For a moment he frowned at me, then shook his head. "Of course you do. You're truly your father's daughter."

"Yeah, I am," I agreed simply, wholeheartedly. That, I'd always be.

"I'm only supposed to open his testament after his funeral but because it's you, I'll tell you the basics," he said dryly, then grew serious. "While your mother's still alive, Keith thought, and I can only agree, that it's best to not let her be your guardian and with her history, the fact that she hadn't contacted you or him for over a year now and because Judge Henricks still owed your dad a few favors, we managed to get you another guardian. Sam. So you best speak with him about the rest. As for the money, Keith hadn't touched his retirement fond since his dismissal, plus, there's his life insurance. It's not a fortune, but it should be enough to last you for a couple of years."

I was relieved to hear that news. Though I didn't correct him about my mother. She had contacted me once, leaving me a message on Dad's birthday. I was just glad that her absence wouldn't make things even more complicated and that Sam was my guardian now. Sam was okay. Just…

"Do I have to live at Sam's?" I asked, frowning.

Raising an eyebrow, Cliff looked at me. "That would be the most logic solution, yeah."

I shook my head. "I love Sam, but I've seen where and how he lives. It's a mess. And too far away from school. I mean, it's out of town. And I won't change school. Not so shortly before graduation." And surely not as long as I didn't know who had killed Lilly. It could have been one at school after all. "Can't I just rent a place in town and live there? I'm seventeen after all, not a baby anymore. I can look after myself and I'll have Back-Up with me."

Cliff sighed. "You'll have to talk to Sam about that, Veronica, I can't help you there. If he's okay with it, I guess it's possible. But if he refuses, you'll have to do what he says. He _is _your guardian now."

Hmm… I was pretty sure that I'd get Sam to let me stay on my own, but not absolute sure. He was almost as protective about me as Dad was so there was a good chance that he didn't want me to live on my own. Especially as long as my dad's killer wasn't found.

All the more reason to find the bastard as soon as possible.

For now though, I knew all I needed to know for the moment. I nodded at Cliff. "Okay. Thanks Cliff."

He nodded, sadness filling his eyes once again. "Your dad was a good friend, Veronica. I'll see about the arrangements and will come by tomorrow, if that's okay."

My throat closing off, I nodded, looking away. That was so not something I wanted to do.

"She's staying over at my place. Be sure you'll have your ID with you when you come, otherwise the guards won't let you in," Logan said from behind me, the first thing he had said ever since we've gotten out of the car.

Cliff's eyes turned to look at him, narrowed. He knew who Logan was. And he knew our history. Not everything, but the basics. And I could see that he was wondering just how it came that I was staying over at Logan. Hell, probably already why Logan was here with me at all.

That made two of us.

But Cliff simply nodded. "Noted." Then he looked back at me. "Call me if you need anything."

With a last nod, I turned and left, Logan following me closely.

"I've got to say Mars, you know a few very strange people," Logan said dryly as we climbed down the steps.

"Make's life a whole lot more interesting," I said as dryly.

He chuckled. "That's one way to describe it." He was silent for half a minute. "How bad is that guy really?"

"Cliff?"

He nodded.

I smiled. "There are worse."

"That's what I thought," Logan muttered. "Where to now? Can we go home or do you want to go by the sheriff's department to go harass the sheriff?"

There was sarcasm in his voice, but also resignation. And actually, his idea wasn't so bad. If Lamb wasn't the sheriff that would probably be exactly what I'd want to do now. Unfortunately, Lamb _was_ the sheriff and I wasn't sure if I could face him without killing him yet. I thought not, so the sheriff's department was out – though I'd have to get in and somehow get a copy of my dad's file soon. No idea yet, how, but I'd find a way. I always do.

We reached the X-Terra and Logan beeped it open.

But there was one thing left I needed to do.

I took a deep breath and looked at Logan just as he reached out to open my door. "No. I want you to take me to our office."

He stopped in mid-air, his eyes slowly turning to fix me down with a glare.

"I beg you pardon?" he said, his voice tight.

"Mars Investigations. I need you to take me there," I said firmly.

His face darkened and then he suddenly whirled around and rammed his fist into the yellow door of the passenger seat, cursing. Startled by his violent reaction, I took a step back. When he turned back to me, his eyes held a barely contained rage.

"I've driven you to the morgue and hardly said anything. You wanted to go to Wal-Mart to buy dog food, okay. You made me bring you here to this dump, fine, okay. You want me to, what the hell do I know, take you to LA and watch a baseball game, fine! But you must be crazy if you really believe that I'll take you to the place where your father was killed only yesterday!" he hissed, his voice hard.

I held up my hands. "Logan…"

"No Veronica. Forget it. Plead away, this time it's not going to work. I won't take you there," Logan interrupted me, shaking his head.

"Look Logan…"

"What the hell do you want to prove anyway? That you're tough?" Logan shook his head and stepped up to stare right down at me. "I get it. We all get it. You're tough. You're the toughest person I've ever met. You're tougher than Wolverine."

No. I wasn't going to cry. I _wasn't_.

"Why are you doing this Ronnie? Why do you keep doing things that will hurt you? Forcing yourself to face all that?" Logan's voice quieted down, lost its heat. "No one is going to think bad of you if you let yourself grieve a little bit longer, Ronnie. Cry if you want, scream, smash things around, I don't care. Just stop hurting yourself."

No, no, no, I was _not _going to cry! Still, I couldn't stop the tears that had welled up in my eyes from escaping and rolling down my face.

Logan looked as if something had hit him hard and he cursed. "Fuck, Ronnie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want…" He let out another curse and then reached out, drew me into the warmth and comfort of his arms.

Damn it all to hell, but I really started to like it there. One could get used to it.

His chin rested on the top of my head. "I'm sorry," he murmured again. "I just… I just worry, okay?"

I sniffled. "I don't do these things to hurt myself. Or to show that I'm tough. And I definitely don't want to do all this. But I have to, Logan. I know you don't understand, but I have to. It's the only thing that keeps me from falling apart right now and I can't fall apart. Not now, not again." I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to reveal so much of myself to a guy that was my enemy. But thing was that he was no longer my enemy. The arms that now held me didn't belong to a guy who hated me, but to the guy that had been one of my closest friends once – and was a friend again. In the blink of a second, my archenemy had become my friend, hell, my anchor in the storm of emotions I was going through right now. Today, at that moment, there didn't exist any barriers anymore. "If it helps, if you hadn't been with me I would have broken down even before we got to the morgue. I can't go there alone, Logan, I need you to come with me. If you refuse, okay, then we don't go." I leaned back to gaze up into his shocked eyes. Looked like my admission had shocked him. I almost smiled. "But I really need to go there. I need to see for myself where it happened, need to get a picture of it, to understand. And I need to go through the office, see if something is missing. I'm the only one that's able to do that. And I need to have a look at Dad's open files, see if there's any clue in them as to why… why… this happened."

He sighed. "Why?" he asked after a moment.

I frowned. I thought that was pretty much obvious. "I need to find the bastard who has done this so he can start to pay for murdering my father. I need to understand. And the longer we wait, the harder it will get to find him."

No idea why I was telling him all this. I hadn't wanted to. But then, Logan had always been good at bringing me to talk about things I never talked about, with no one, not even Lilly.

"Ronnie…" His hands on my arms squeezed me. "That's the sheriff's job. Leave that to him."

My eyes turned to slits. "Lamb is an idiot. The only way he's able to find someone is if someone presents him the culprit on a silver tray. And he hated my dad which means that he will put minimum effort into finding his killer. But I'm not going to let that happen. Someone will pay for killing my father, taking him away from me, and you can be sure that the right person or persons are going to pay, one way or another."

"Has it ever occurred to you that whoever has killed your father probably won't hesitate to kill you as well if you get too close?" he asked, sounding seriously irritated.

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter." I looked down. "Not that anyone's left to care anyway," I added bitterly.

One of his hands closed around my chin and forced me to look him into his eyes. "_I_ care," he hissed. His grip loosened, turned tender, caring. "And I'm not the only one. Wallace would care, that girl with blue hair would care. Duncan would care. And each of the men we've visited today, plus the guy that's your guardian now. So don't you dare for even a second to think no one would care if something happened to you."

Staring at him, I swallowed.

"Going to the office won't be dangerous," I finally managed to bring out a few eons later.

Frustrated, he let go of me, running his hands through his hair to then look heavenwards, as if to ask for guidance. Too bad I knew he didn't believe in God.

When he looked back at me, I could see that he had made up his mind. "I want you to promise me something, Veronica, right here and now and the devil himself may come get you if you break that promise," he said, his voice leaving no room for protest. "No solo tours. If you absolutely have to do this madness, okay, but not alone. You're going to take me or someone else with you, no matter when, where to or what for. Is that clear?"

I stared at him, speechless.

His eyes narrowed. "Do you understand, Veronica?"

"Logan…"

"Promise."

There are times where you just know you have no way to get around something. This was one of them. I knew Logan could be downright stubborn, but I've never known that he can be just that resolute and unwavering.

"Fine." I really don't like to loose or agree to something I don't want to.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Could that be a bit more heartfelt?"

I glared.

The smile almost reached his eyes, but then he nodded and sighed, turning around to open the passenger door for me. "Get in. Looks like we're going to break into a crime scene."

"It's not breaking in if you have a key and it's actually your place," I corrected as I climbed into the X-Terra.

"I very much doubt Grissom and Co would agree with you. In fact, I'm sure he'd have your head for that," Logan replied and closed the door.

He might be right about that one.

* * *

"Remember, if I spot one suspicious person lurking around, we're gone," Logan said, giving me a stern look.

I rolled my eyes and got out of the car. If this continued like that, I officially would declare Logan to be a bigger worry nut than my dad was. And that would seriously turn my world upside down so he'd better stop to be so over protective.

One step towards the building our office is in and I staggered, my eyes falling onto the porch.

They've washed the blood away. But traces of the chalks were still there, giving me a pretty good idea of just how Dad had dropped to the ground. He must have gotten out of the car, his eyes on the paper in his one hand, coffee in his other, perhaps even whistling a bit. He stepped towards the entrance, moved up the first step and…

The bile rose unexpected and before I knew it, I had fallen down to my knees, doubled over and retched the few contains that had still been in my stomach out.

Hands stroking my hair back, hands stroking over my back. Once all was out, they gripped my shoulders, hard.

"That's it. We're out of here."

Unwavering resolution again. But I still shook my head. "No."

"Ronnie…" Logan's whine sounded almost pained.

Again I shook my head and forced myself back onto my feet. My knees felt a bit wobbly, but they would carry me for now. Though I was glad that Logan's hands steadied me as well. I needed to get in there, needed to go through the office. But there was no way I'd bring myself to go over these steps. Not now. Perhaps never again. Then again, who knew how much longer the office would still be open? I turned into the other direction.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked, never more than a step behind.

"Backdoor."

"There's a backdoor?" Logan asked with a frown.

"All of Dad's places have backdoors. Backdoors save lives," I lectured, repeating what Dad must have told me a few hundred times.

_Oh Daddy, if you'd just taken the backdoor!_

Of course I admit that taking the backdoor was a lot more exhausting than going in through the front. First you had to push the fire escape down, then you had to climb up two floors. Not to mention to pick the lock on the windows. It _was_ meant rather as a mean to escape than to get in.

At least this way no one saw us going in.

We both panted a little when we climbed through the window. Catching my breath, I looked around. Everything looked as it had when I had left it two days before. Apart of the dust that layered over everything. Apparently, Lamb had had at least enough brain to search for fingerprints. Not that that would help him much. It's been a while since I've made a good spring cleaning of the place so there probably were lots of different prints going to be found. Not really wanting to spend any time longer than necessary there, I went to work.

First, I turned on the computer, hoping that Lamb hadn't gotten the hard drive. He hadn't. Sloppy, but then, that was Lamb. And I was actually grateful for his sloppiness this time. I tipped in the password and opened the log file. "See if there had been any transfers, downloads or e-mails since eight pm the day before yesterday," I ordered Logan and moved over to the file cabinets.

Wordlessly, he did as I've told him while I skimmed through the files. Of course I didn't remember each file, but most of them. There was an inventory list on my computer that I'd let Logan go through once he was finished, but I was pretty sure that nothing was missing.

"Nothing," Logan announced.

I nodded and turned back to him and the computer. Quickly, I called up the inventory list and let it print out. Then I opened one of the drawers and pointed at several memory sticks there. "Copy every of the files on the hard drive, then delete them. You know how to permanently delete them?"

He gave me an annoyed look.

"After that, take the inventory list and quickly scan it. I've noted how many files are in each cabinet, though it shouldn't take long. I'm going over to Dad's office, see if I can find something there," I instructed him and already, I've turned away from him.

Logan made no remark about me bossing him around like I was sure he would have usually done it. And damn it, I wished he would have. It wasn't as if I could ever forget what had happened anyway, but it didn't help that his uncharacteristic behavior rubbed it into my face time and time again.

Ask and you shall receive.

"Just how many laws are we breaking here, Mars?"

I looked back at him over my shoulder and smiled. "What's a little law breaking more or less for you, Echolls?"

He shrugged. "Just curious. So next time I compare my rap sheet with my cell mate I'll be able to give an accurate number."

"Then I'd add four or five to your list, Autolycus," I said, still smiling.

See? That was a lot better.

Logan snorted. "As if. I'm at least Lex."

"Nah, you've got too much hair for that," I protested, sitting down at Dad's desk and turned on his computer.

"Point. Magneto."

"Too old," I pointed out, checking Dad's logs.

"Al."

"Too old _and_ too fat to be you."

No entry for two days. So good so far. Quickly, I made a copy of all his e-mails.

"Darth Vader."

It was my turn to snort. "You wish. You're not cool enough for that. No one is cool enough to be Vader."

Having the copies I needed, I proceeded to delete the files Lamb didn't need to see, should he ever come around and bag the drives.

"Okay, V then."

"Too mysterious."

"You're damn hard to please, you know that, Mars?"

"Just trying to be as accurate as possible," I countered with a shrug. "Q," I then suggested.

"Star Trek?"

"You invented any explosive gadgets lately?"

"Not that I know of. And no. Q's cool, but not really the bad guy," Logan protested.

I raised an eyebrow as I went on to search Dad's drawers. "And I'd thought you'd jump at the chance to be omnipotent."

"Please, you've seen how their sex works? No, thank you."

He sounded so disgusted that I actually laughed. I was searching my dad's office for a clue to my dad's killer, and I laughed.

Did I mention that that day was seriously weird?

"Always the same with you, isn't it?" I asked resigned.

"I serve to please," Logan replied dryly. "And I _am_ a hot-blooded male after all."

I chose to ignore that comment.

"Alec!"

Frustrated, I closed the last drawer and glanced over to the door, where Logan was leaning against the door frame.

"Not hot enough," I denied. "All done?"

He nodded. "Nothing's missing and there hadn't been much to copy and destroy. And what do you mean, not hot enough?"

"We regularly delete our files from the hard file. There's an extern hard drive but that one's safely hidden away in a deposit case in a bank in LA. Your privacy and our discretion are guaranteed at Mars Investigations," I explained and turned toward the safe. "And please, you're not that bad but you're no Jenson Ackels, Logan. Besides, he too is basically a good guy."

"Nice. Of course anyone could simply come in and search your cabinets," Logan commented, coming further into the room. "And Jenson's not _that_ good looking."

"Sure, but you'll never find John Smith under a file labeled John Smith," I informed him and knelt down in front of the safe. "And you're clearly not a woman, otherwise you'd know that Jenson Ackels is the ultimate of purest hotness."

"Remind me to never introduce you to each other," he muttered darkly.

I paused before giving in the last number. Did Logan just implicate that he knew Jenson Ackels? Hmm… Pushing that thought away, I pinched in the last number and opened the door. Or tried to. Frowning, I gave in the code again and tried again. The door didn't bulge.

Shit.

"Dad must have changed his combination," I realized.

Damn it!

"Perhaps he wanted you to not stick your nose in a few of his cases," Logan suggested.

Yeah, Dad would do that. Especially since he had forbidden me to continue to look into Lilly's case. But damn it, I needed to get those files in there! Lamb couldn't get them, especially not the one about Lilly.

"You know, we could call Weevil. I'm sure he knows someone who has no problem at all to open that baby here," Logan mockingly suggested.

Hey, that wasn't that bad an idea!

I grinned up at him. "I knew I took you with me for a reason!"

His eyes widened as I took out my phone and pressed speed dial. "Weevil. I need a favor."

Groaning, Logan plopped down into Dad's chair. "Great," he muttered even darker as before.

I hid a smile. Logan was cute when he pouted.

Wait…

Did I just use Logan and cute in the same breath? Okay, that was it.

Officially the weirdest day of my entire life.

And the day wasn't over by far.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: It definitely has me in its grip. And I love to see how much you liked the last chapter. There are many questions and I can promise that you'll get your answers in time – well, at least a few of them. Hope you enjoy this one as well. I sure had fun writing it.)_


	4. Visitors

**Chapter 4: Visitors**

I guess it would have been a learning experience to watch how Weevil's buddy opened the safe but my attention was drawn completely to Veronica and Weevil, talking quietly witch each other in the other room, still visible to me though. They were standing close, Weevil talking softly for the most time. A few times, Ronnie nodded, trying to give that weak smile she tried to muster up all day so far. No one bought it. But I'm pretty sure everyone took it for what it was: her brave attempt to get through this day, no matter what.

And boy, she really pushed it today. I had found it bad enough that she absolutely had to go to the morgue to see the body of her dad. Even though a tiny part of me could understand that need. I had had a similar need, back when Lilly had died, wanting to see for myself that she's really dead. But of course I wasn't best buddies with the pathologist so I've never seen her again, not even at the funeral, due to the closed casket. In hindsight, I think it was better like that. The video that had leaked to the press had been bad enough, the images still haunting me, though less now than a year ago.

Sometimes I wonder if Duncan and Ronnie have nightmares as well, seeing Lilly's body with her bashed in head, her dead eyes accusing you.

We never talked about that. Not Duncan and I and certainly not Veronica and I.

I had been so glad to be able to get away from the morgue. All I had wanted to do was to get Ronnie back to the safety of my room. Typical her, she crossed my plans by wanting to go buy dog food, being difficult when I told her to not worry. But really, what would have been so wrong with sending the maid to buy Back-Up's food? It was her dog and her day though and what she wanted to do – it was. And already I was entering a Wal-Mart for the very first time in my life. I've been to the Mall and to expensive boutiques and such stuff, but actually never in a Wal-Mart. Frankly said, I haven't missed out on anything special.

After the food was stored away in the back I thought we could finally get back home now – but noooo, Ronnie wanted to go see that Cliff person. Okay, I could get that she wanted to know what was going to happen to her now, with her father gone. But had it really had to be today? She didn't need to do all this shit right now. Instead, she should let herself grieve a little more. That much got obvious when that lawyer or whatever he is mentioned the funeral. I had seen the panic kicking in. At the same time I cursed that idiot for talking thoughtlessly like that I also blamed myself because I hadn't thought about the funeral myself while I automatically drew her into my arms. Of course there would have to be made arrangements for that. But I've been too focused on Ronnie to think about that.

Or about her housing situation. I didn't like at all to hear that there's a slight possibility that she'd have to move away. Leave school. She couldn't. I needed her. Then again, I didn't like her plan to go live on her own in some shabby apartment in town either. She shouldn't be alone right now. And I wasn't sure if it was safe for her to live alone, in a place where security probably was a joke.

Her dad had just been killed after all, and we had no idea why. What if Keith Mars had only been the beginning. What if Ronnie…

Forcefully, I pushed that thought away. Still… it left a stale taste in my mouth.

I wish I could invite her to stay with me. I wanted to. It would be by far better than either option A or B. But problem was that I didn't think my parents would go along with it. I've told Ronnie that she didn't need to worry about my parents and that much was true. When I've come home yesterday with an exhausted and broken Veronica, my mom's eyes had widened. I had just shook my head and declared that Ronnie was going to stay over for a while before I proceeded to get Ronnie to my room. So far I haven't heard a protest, but then, I hadn't expected one. And if there had been… well, my parents owed me several favors. But her staying permanently is another thing. Plus… Ronnie's better off not to be drawn into the farce that my life is.

Though it would be interesting to see just how long my dad could resist teaching me the next lesson. Of course he'd probably time it so that it happens whenever Ronnie would be away. That's how he had done it my whole life with Trina. My sister's dense, but not even she could mistake the sound of a belt hitting flesh. It's quite a loud sound.

No, I definitely don't want Ronnie anywhere near my father, though he has yet to hit a woman as far as I know. He's old school that way. There's no problem with beating the shit out of your son, that's education, but you don't raise your hand against a woman.

Then again, I'm glad he doesn't. I don't know what I would do if he'd hit Mom or Trina as well.

So perhaps, Veronica moving into a place of her own isn't that bad of an idea after all. I can still make sure she'll not be alone too often. And I'm sure there's something that could be done about the security issue as well.

As long as she doesn't have to move away.

And I've got to admit, Ronnie seemed calmer, more relaxed when we left that dump. Hell, she almost made a joke there. Boy, she's one hell of an actress. Trina would totally be jealous. Yep, her request to come here, the crime scene of her father's murder had caught me totally off guard.

What the hell was that stubborn girl trying to prove? And just when had she turned to be so damn masochistic?

Because that's what it was. Pure masochism. There was no way I was going along with her plan this time. Or so I'd thought. Then she started to cry, looking all hurt and lost all of a sudden and I realized that this time, _I_ had been the one to render her to tears.

Unforgivable.

So I've given in. Of course. At least only after I made her promise to not go off chasing her father's killer on her own. That thought alone turned my stomach upside down. It didn't surprise me that much that she was so determined to find her father's killer though. Not after this day. Not after knowing this unnamable rage myself, with Lilly have being murdered as well. Or the satisfaction it brought to know that Abel Koontz was rotting away in prison right now, that soon, he was going to pay for what he'd done to my wonderful Lilly. But why had Ronnie to do it herself? She may have done a little P.I. work here and there, but finding and catching a killer? It was more likely she'd get hurt or even killed by doing so.

And that's unacceptable.

I'm done losing persons that are important to me.

"You're in."

Startled, I looked up to see that Weevil's buddy, Hector, had stood up, the safe door now wide open.

Quickly, Veronica came over to kneel in front of it. She took a stash of files out, going through them.

"Can we go now?" I asked, really wanting to get away from this place. I still thought it had been a bad idea to come here. Part of me still argues that after her break down upon seeing where her dad had laid, seeing her down on her knees, retching, I should have just followed my instinct and hauled her back into the X-Terra and driven her home. Truth was I myself had trouble to keep from throwing up. If I hadn't had to take care of Ronnie…

Okay, I admit that part of me was fascinated by the way she still insisted on going in, despite everything, and then watch her going systematically through the office. Apparently, her father really had taught her well.

But this was still a murder scene and now with Weevil in the picture as well, I just wanted to get away. I can't help it, I just don't like the guy. Thank God I don't have to. He totally rubs me the wrong way and I sure as hell don't trust him. He is the leader of a biker gang after all. And I really, really don't like the way he looks at Ronnie.

Or how close they seem to be.

First thing Weevil had done after climbing through the window was to give Veronica a tight hug. "I'm so sorry V. I've always liked your dad. He sure was a hell of a lot a better sheriff than Lamb can ever dream of being," he had whispered, and her eyes filling with tears, she accepted the hug, even leaned a little into him if I wasn't wrong.

I didn't like it.

"You must know after all. Just how many times did they have to pick you up, Weevil?" I've asked with a snort.

Veronica had drawn back to glare over to me. "Logan!"

His eyes had cut to me, narrowed. "More times than they had to pick you up, that's for sure. What are you doing here anyway, rich boy? Gathering material for your next attack on V?"

Veronica's glare turned to him. "Weevil."

It had been my turn to narrow my eyes. "Careful Paco, that were almost three whole sentences. You might overdo yourself there."

Before Weevil had been able to respond, Veronica had stepped between us, glaring at both of us. "Stop it. You're not going to do this. Logan, Weevil's a friend and I don't care what you two have at power games to perform, while I'm here you'll behave and treat him as a friend of mine. And Weevil, leave Logan alone. He's here because I want and need him here and he's my _friend_, that clear?"

We grudgingly had complied. Of course it may have helped that she had dragged him into the other room to have a word with him, as she had declared.

"In a moment, Logan," she now answered. "Just…" She broke off and quickly went through the files again, a frown appearing on her forehead that grew deeper second by second.

"Something wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"It's not here!" she exclaimed, going through the stash a third time.

I frowned. "What's not here?"

"Lilly's file!" she answered agitated as she leaned forward to look once again into the now almost empty safe.

The world stopped moving as I slowly processed this. "Lilly's…"

"Shit, where is it?" She jumped up and went back to the desk, opening drawers.

Coldness spread out from somewhere deep inside me. And anger.

Lilly. File. Lilly's file. What the fuck…

"Why would your dad keep a file on Lilly?"

That hadn't been me. Slowly, I look over at Weevil who stared at Veronica, looking as floored by this as I felt.

She didn't answer, just moved from the desk to a cupboard, frantically searching this one as well.

"V!" Weevil bellowed.

Veronica ignored him.

"Veronica." My voice was dangerously low.

Her shoulder's sacking, she turned to look at us, bewildered. "It's not here. It's gone."

"Why's there a file on Lilly here at all?" I asked very slowly, my eyes fixing on hers.

"What do you think, Logan?" she asked back, annoyed.

Before I could say something else, Weevil stepped forward, frowning. "Are you saying someone stole that file?"

She looked around, frowning. "I don't know. Perhaps. But nothing else is missing and it doesn't look as if anyone had been in here since Dad and me. Could be that Dad had moved the file. He had been pretty mad when he got wind of me investigating the case. Forbid me to continue but he probably knew that I can't give up, no matter what, until I've found the bastard that had killed her."

"We know who has done it. Abel Koontz. He's in prison," I pointed out harshly, my eyes narrowing.

She cut her eyes to me. "If you say so."

The anger grew. "He confessed. He was convicted. Her murder's _solved_."

"I know that, Logan," she answered, annoyed.

It was too much. "Then what the fuck are you or your dad doing sniffling around in her case, huh?" I hissed, glaring at her. "What the hell is the matter with you people? Why can't you just let her rest in peace finally?"

She flinched but this time I didn't care. Wasn't it bad enough that Lilly was dead? That her death had destroyed our friendship, our trust in each other? And now that we finally started to find our way back a little to that friendship, she comes and blurs out that she still can't just leave it the hell alone?

Her eyes met mine, a mixture of sadness, resignation and – fear?

"Because I don't believe, no, I _know_ that they have the wrong guy and that her real killer's still out there," she said so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

I laughed bitterly and shook my head. "You're unbelievable. And you're crazy."

But I still could feel doubt seeping in, as ridiculous as that was. It was obvious that she really believed the crap she had just let out. Ronnie is many things… but usually she's pretty sensible, realistic. So why did she seem so absolutely sure? Had she really gone crazy over the loss of Lilly or…

No. That was ridiculous.

Balling my hands to fists, I took a deep breath, pushed it all away. "I've had enough. Let's go."

That threw her. Unsure, she looked at me. Impatiently, I waved to the door. "Let's go," I repeated.

"Are you sure…"

"Ronnie!" I hissed tensely, exasperated.

"Careful, rich boy," Weevil growled, stepping forward.

I wasn't impressed and made sure my glare at him told him so and to back off. And if he didn't… I believed I still owed him for the day at Dog Beach when he played himself up as Veronica's knight in shining armor. Actually, I found it was high time to finally take care of that debt. My right fist tightened, hardened.

But then Ronnie was suddenly beside me and lightly touched just that fist. "Logan," she murmured quietly, just for my ears.

My jaw clenching, I looked down at her. Her eyes stared up at me, wide, tentative – but soft. My fingers flexed and then relaxed. Okay. I breathed deeply. Okay. I looked back at Weevil, who still looked menacingly at me. Our eyes held, silently communicated. Not here. Not now. Not in front of Veronica. But _sometime_.

This time when I looked back at Veronica, I gave a small smile. "Come on, now. Grab whatever you need and let's leave before that idiot who calls himself sheriff gets lucky for once and bags us."

She frowned, but nodded. She went over to the safe and stashed the files from there into her bag, closed the door. Then she moved to close all the drawers she had opened in her search for Lilly's file. Finally, with a last look around she came to a stop in front of Weevil, glancing at Hector, who had watched everything impassively, before she met Weevil's eyes. "How much do I owe you?"

Weevil shrugged, avoiding looking at her. "Nah, nothing. This one's on the house, V."

Her face lit up with a true smile and she surprised everyone in the room by standing onto her tiptoes and giving badass Eli 'Weevil' Navarro a light kiss onto his cheek. "Thanks, Eli."

You know, I always thought it would be funny to see the leader of the local biker gang blush one time. I was wrong. It wasn't funny. It was disgusting. Pathetic.

"Yeah, uh, well…" Weevil downright stuttered. Oh please! Thankfully, he seemed to catch himself again at that point. "I'll let you know if I hear anything," he said.

A shadow fell over her face and she nodded solemnly, making me wonder what he was letting her know when he heard it. I guess it had to do with whatever they had talked about while Hector had opened the safe. I'd have to ask her later.

"Thanks," she repeated, quietly, then moved to the door from where she looked back at me. "Coming?"

I nodded and followed her, not missing the fact that Weevil didn't seem to like the concept of us leaving together. And didn't that little fact please the hell out of me? Then again, _everything_ that displeased Weevil pleased me.

When I wanted to brush by him, he stopped me with a finger ramming into my chest. "You better don't hurt her again, rich boy," he warned me lowly.

My eyes grew cold. "And you should stay away from girls that are far out of your league, _Paco,_" I advised him icily, as lowly as he had spoken.

We both knew that I wasn't talking just about Veronica.

Sister, my ass.

Giving him a last long look, I finally moved past him, quickly following Veronica out of the window who was already one story down.

I was _so_ looking forward to sometime.

* * *

To my immense relief Veronica didn't have yet another stop on her mind so we could finally head home. The ride was silent. I had no idea what she thought about – my thoughts were in a whirlwind of all the things that had come to light today, that I've seen. The morgue, that lawyer, the worry that Veronica may have to move, the fear that gripped my insides alone at the thought of her going after her dad's killer, the coldness of the realization that she still couldn't let Lilly rest in peace and last but not least the burning anger at the suspicions now troubling my mind about just what exactly had been between Weevil and Lilly.

I had never quite believed that the 'Lilly' tattoo on his arm I had spotted during our detention together was really about his sister. I mean, yeah, those Latino people were insanely close to their families, but to tattoo your sister's name onto your body? Either he was seriously whacko or he had lied. Why I chose to accept his lie I don't know. Perhaps because it's been already a year since Lilly's death. Perhaps because even before her death, things had seriously cooled down between Lilly and me. We were broken up. Most people believed it was just one of our usual break-ups of a few weeks before we'd get back together again but it hadn't been. Not this time. This time it had been for real and we both had known it. Had we had the time, the others would have seen it eventually – and also that we'd have stayed friends. Or perhaps it had just been that I appreciated him lying to me about the tattoo.

But ever since then I wondered. After today, I know there had been quite something between my ex-girlfriend and the leader of the PCHers. The expression on his face when he heard about the file, about the Mars' crazy theories, didn't leave any doubts anymore.

Involuntarily, my eyes slid to Veronica, once again looking out her window. I couldn't help but wonder what exactly she knew about that. She had been Lilly's best friend and Lilly had trusted her implicitly – one of the reasons why I hadn't been able to forgive Veronica turning against the Kanes. I know that Veronica probably knew a lot more about Lilly than I. On the other hand I also know that Lilly sometimes _didn't_ tell her some things because she was mindful of Ronnie's innocence and sense of moral. Would she have told Ronnie about her seeing Weevil?

Unfortunately, the way I saw it, there was only one way to find out: asking Ronnie straight out. But I wasn't ready to talk with Ronnie about Lilly, now even less than before. I didn't want to fight with her, not again, not now. She couldn't need that right now.

My need to protect her was just greater than to demand a few answers from her.

But that in itself was something else to ponder. I wasn't used to worry about Veronica Mars like that, with such an overwhelming intensity. And I had no idea where that came from. I mean, it was clear that I didn't care much about her when we were enemies, but even before, when we were friends, it hadn't been like that. Not so completely engulfing.

I sighed inwardly. Okay. It was too damn silent. I thought too much and it's seldom good if I have too much time to think.

"What did Paco mean, he'll let you know if he hears anything?" I asked, breaking the silence.

There was no annoyance in her eyes when she turned her head to look at me. Just tiredness. "I asked him to keep his ears open, see if he perhaps can hear something about my dad's…" She swallowed and already, I cursed myself for asking. I could have figured that one out by myself after all. "It's always possible that the guy who did it is stupid enough to boast about it. Or perhaps the snitches have heard something about who exactly would have wanted my dad – out of their way."

I said nothing. What was there to say after all?

"Information out of the underground are often a lot more useful than anything else. And Dad… most had quite some respect for him. He had always been fair to them. Now, with Lamb as sheriff, they know that even more, appreciate it. So chance is really big that we learn something that will help us along this way," she continued, looking away again.

Yeah, even I've gotten that we had been better off with Keith Mars as sheriff. And still… I probably would once again support the board's decision to fire him. No matter what Veronica believed, he _had_ made a mistake in Lilly's murder investigation, a big one, an unforgivable one. He _had_ screwed up.

I mean seriously: Jake Kane murdering his own daughter?

No way.

I started a little when Veronica suddenly sat up, turning even more to her side. "Stop! Logan, stop!"

Confused, I came to a screeching stop by the curb. What…

Veronica was out before the car stood completely still. "Wallace!" she yelled.

Cursing, I looked around and indeed, there was the black boy, walking down the street.

"Wallace!" Veronica yelled again and the guy turned around.

One look and thirty seconds later, Wallace had jogged over and swallowed her up into a mother bear of a hug.

"Boy girl, I'm so glad to see you. I'm so sorry." I could hear him murmur into her hair.

She let out a sob and clung more to him. He made shushing sounds and then his eyes moved over to me. He was not glad to see me, that much was obvious.

"I tried to come see you, but I wasn't let in," he said, his voice angry and hard, his eyes glaring daggers at me.

I didn't mind that much. Honestly, if I'd been in his place I would have been spitting mad as well if I had been refused to see my best friend after her dad had died.

Sniffling and taking a deep breath, Ronnie let go of Wallace and turned to look at me with a frown. I smiled sheepishly at them. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I forgot to clear you with the guards," I apologized.

"Logan," Ronnie sighed, shaking her head.

I enforced my sheepish smile and looked at Wallace. "Why don't you get in? You two shouldn't to this here on the street." I looked down the street. One more corner and we'd be home. "You never know where the hounds are hiding themselves," I continued, more seriously.

He hesitated a moment, but Ronnie pushed him towards the backseat and that was enough to make his decision. He opened the door and got in, still giving me an unfriendly look. I just smiled. Ronnie closed the door to the passenger seat and then got in in the behind as well, sliding beside Wallace. Once the door was closed, I started to drive again, keeping an eye on the two people in the backseat. Ronnie had her eyes closed with her head resting on Wallace's shoulder who in turn stroked over her hair, her arm. They didn't talk. I didn't know it that was because of me being there or if that just was their way. I just didn't know how they worked. I've never bothered to watch the two of them together and I don't know anyone else whose best friend is of a different gender. Of course Ronnie and I had been pretty close once as well… but not like those two seemed to be close. It reminded me a lot of the times when I've seen Lilly and Ronnie together.

Part of me was glad that she did find someone else to be her best friend again. But part of me was also afraid. I didn't want to loose her again, now that I've had her back, sort of. Now that Wallace was here though… what would she still need me for? If anyone could estrange her from me again, then it was that guy. Judging from the glares he had sent me before and now as well from time to time he probably planned just that.

With a sigh I concentrated back onto the road.

"Fuck," I murmured, seeing the bunch of press gathered in front of my home, a lot more than this morning. Not as many as right after my father's stabbing, but close. Guess the secret was out that the daughter of the recently killed former sheriff was staying with her archenemy for the time being.

"What?" Ronnie asked, raising her head and looking around. Her eyes widened when she saw all the reporters waiting at our gate. "Oh…"

I sighed. "Don't worry, it won't take too long. And it's over once we're past the gate." More or less anyway. "Just keep your face turned to Wallace. Wallace, see to it that they won't get a good shot of her."

"They're all here because of me?" Ronnie asked incredulous as I slowed down when I reached the first row of reporters.

"Now don't flatter yourself, Mars," I lazily told her. "Here _are_ living two Hollywood stars, remember?"

"But there haven't been that many people here when we left," she protested.

"Ronnie, it's been freaking eight in the morning. That's a bit too early even for those sharks," I said, chuckling. Well, it was. At least when there's not a hot story to milk.

Wallace laid a hand onto the back of her head and pulled it back down to his shoulder. "Come on, Superfly, you wouldn't want to be caught in this yellow monstrosity, would you?"

"Hey!" I protested, offended. My car is just perfect the way it is!

But I could hear her muffled laughter and smiled. Okay, today I'll let it go, but just this time. Pushing my way through the crowd, I finally reached to gate that I opened with the remote. The security people moved to prevent any of the idiots to come in while I drove through. By the guard house I pulled to a stop though. Dave, the head of our security team, stepped out. I nodded to the back.

"Dave, this is Wallace Fennel. He's cleared from now on to come whenever he wants, understood?" I said.

Dave took a good look at Wallace, then nodded. "We'll add him to the list, Sir," he said formally.

I hate to be called Sir. But I've long given up telling Dave to not call me that. He just wouldn't listen. So I just nodded back and then drove up to the house, driving the car into the garage. I seldom did that but with all those lechers out there it probably was for the best.

Turning off the motor, I turned my head to look at Veronica. "Why don't you two go to my room?" I asked, sensing their need to be alone. This time I wasn't welcome, I knew that.

Veronica nodded and opened the door. "Thanks Logan," she said quietly.

"Wait," Wallace stopped her, glancing at me before focusing back on Veronica. "You know, I've talked to my mom and she's okay for you to stay with us for the time being. So why don't you just go get that monster you call a dog and your things and Logan can drive us over to my place?"

Veronica seemed momentarily frozen when she gaped back at Wallace and so was I. I recovered a second before her. "No," I downright refused. I wasn't going to let her leave. She was staying just where I could keep an eye on her.

"But your mom hates me," Veronica exclaimed a second after me.

Wallace glared first at me with a look that told me to stay out of this and then looked back at Veronica, gentler. "She doesn't hate you. Ever since your dad helped us out with that psycho she's okay with you. Actually, she seemed quite shocked when she heard about your dad. So it's okay, really." Another glance at me. "Besides, there aren't reporters camped out in front of our house if you remember."

"Not yet," I said quietly, trying to sound not as annoyed as I actually was. "The minute they'll get wind of her new whereabouts, your house will become very popular all of a sudden. I don't know where you live but I doubt that there's a fence that will keep the hounds at bay, preventing them from hovering at your door, trying to get a shot through the windows," I reasoned and my eyes slid to Ronnie, meeting hers. "It's your decision but I think it's best if you stay here," I said softly.

_Please, let her stay!_

She looked at me for a moment, before turning back to Wallace. "I appreciate it, Wallace, but I think Logan's right. It's better if I stay here. I remember how it was with the reporters after Lilly and I don't want to impose that onto your family. Just think about your brother, Wallace. So please, thank your mom for me, but tell her I'm good where I am." She smiled. "Besides, how could I ever live with someone who has just insulted my beloved dog, for the umpteenth time may I add?"

Relief flooded me, along with incredible warmth at hearing that she wanted to stay with me instead of staying with her new best friend.

But Wallace frowned. "Are you sure?"

Veronica's smile grew. "No one insults my dog, Wallace."

He sighed and shook his head. "Girl, face it. That dog is not a dog, it's a berserker. A monster. It should be illegal to keep something like that as a _pet_."

Her eyes narrowed. "He is not! Right Logan?"

Startled by her dragging me into their banter, I grinned wide and big. "Oh yeah, he's a sweetheart," I sarcastically agreed.

She ignored the sarcasm. "Exactly! Speaking of, I'm sure he's already antsy for me to come back. Come on Wallace. And you better apologize to him."

Wallace grumbled something I didn't get, but followed her out of the car.

I stayed where I was as I watched her dragging Wallace towards my room. With a sigh, I got out and went into direction pool house. I could as well try to get to the next level in my video game while those two talked.

* * *

"Logan?"

"What?" I asked, my eyes never leaving the screen in front of me.

My mom came further into the room and held out the phone. "For you, Honey. It's Duncan."

That got my attention. Quickly, I put the game onto hold and turned to my mother, taking the phone. "Thanks Mom."

She smiled and left.

"DK!" I greeted Duncan, wondering to what I owned the honor.

For years, him calling me would have been the most normal thing in the world. Not anymore though. Ever since Lilly's death he very seldom called. Mostly, it was me calling him, trying to get him to do something with me or the boys. Usually, he declined. Duncan just wasn't the same anymore. It was as if everything that had lived in him had died along with Lilly. After a while, I've… Well, I've not quite given up but I stopped trying so much, doing more and more with Dick and the guys. But I've never stopped missing my best friend.

Though, lately, he seemed to have gotten part of his old self back. He smiled more. Went out more often again. Hell, he even started to joke again. I wasn't sure what provoked the change. If there just had passed enough time now – or if it was the fact that he and Veronica had started to talk again from time to time. Not much, but it was more compared to the total silence between them ever since Lilly's death. No. Ever since he had broken up with her, not long before October third.

I for my part was just glad to see glimpses of my best friend coming back. But he had yet to start calling me regularly again.

"Hey," Duncan's voice said, nothing more.

Raising an eyebrow, I leaned back. "Soooo… there something you want or did you just decide to call me out of the blue?" I prompted, grinning.

There was such a long silence that I was just about to speak again when he finally answered, slowly, hesitant. "No, I… Uh… I've heard… Is Veronica really staying with you?"

My smile died down and I sighed. Of course. I should have known that was the reason he called. "Yeah, she's here," I said simply.

Silence again. I waited.

"That's… surprising," Duncan said eventually and there was something in his voice I didn't quite recognize.

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess that it is."

"Why?" Duncan asked after another moment.

Closing my eyes, I tried to find the words to explain. "I'm tired of being angry with her. She was my friend once, Duncan."

"I know." Impatient, hostile. "I never forgot. But you seemed to have forgotten about it."

"You know I was angry," I said quietly. "We both were. But… Lately, I stopped being angry. And when Clemmons and the cops showed up to tell her about her father… You were there, weren't you? I just couldn't be angry with her anymore. Could no longer be her enemy. Not when she so obviously needed someone right then. Needed a friend." I frowned. "Can you really blame me for that?" I asked, tensely.

"I don't blame you, Logan, it's just… it came as a bit of a surprise, that's all." Now he sighed. "I probably would have reacted the same way if I hadn't been so shocked about Mr Mars being killed."

Biting my lip, I looked over to the main house, the window to my room. "Then why don't you come over? Right now that new friend of hers is with her, Wallace. But I'm sure she'd be happy to see you," I suggested, unsure if I was doing the right thing.

Things between Duncan and Veronica were rocky, but then, it was Duncan. I was pretty sure that she still had a lot of feelings for him. Besides, he _had_ been her friend as well, before they became a couple.

And I knew that Duncan wasn't over Veronica yet.

The more I was surprised by his quick and rather vehement answer. "No! No, I don't think that's a good idea."

Frowning, I sat up. "Duncan… I really think she could need you right now," I tried softly.

"_No_," Duncan just insisted again. Then, after a slight pause. "How is she?"

"What do you think?" I snapped, suddenly angry with him. I got that things weren't that easy between him and Ronnie, but really… her father was dead and he, who usually grabbed every opportunity to run to her aid, was so goddamn stubborn now. "Her dad's dead, killed. Her mother's long gone and she's all alone right now, having to worry about what will happen to her right now while she's hurting over the loss of her dad and still trying to not let the grief overwhelm her. But otherwise she's just peaky fine."

"Logan…"

"No! I don't get you anymore, Duncan!" I interrupted him, not yet finished with him. Ever since Lilly's death, there had been several tense moments between us. Many of them, hell, probably all of them, because he had disapproved of my behavior towards Veronica. But _I _was here for Ronnie now, had come through for her when she needed me. Where the hell was he now? "You love her. And don't even try to deny her. You do. I have eyes, Duncan, I've seen the way you keep looking at her. You've never really gotten over her. I don't say that you should rush over here and claim her back, but be at least the friend you once were to her. The friend she could really need right now."

This time, there was a very long pause before Duncan spoke, his voice thick with something. "You don't understand, Logan, you don't know… I can't… Fuck." He breathed deeply. "You know what? Forget it. I just wanted to hear how she's doing, that's all."

"Duncan…" I tried again, not knowing if I should continue to be angry, regret my outburst or simply just be annoyed about his fucking stubbornness.

"Bye," he just said shortly though and the line went dead before I had a chance to say anything else.

For a moment, I stared at the phone, then, annoyed, I threw it onto the nearby bed.

"Well, that was fun," I murmured and turned back to my game.

It took a while before I continued my game though.

* * *

"Boy, it must be really nice, living like that."

I glanced at the door, seeing Wallace standing in the door, alone. Once again, I put the game on hold. "You get used to it," I flippantly answered and put away the controller, acting as if I didn't hear that he hadn't sounded envious but full of sarcasm and disgust.

"I guess," he said, coming in further, taking a look around before his eyes settled back down on me. "Veronica's sleeping."

Part of me was glad to hear that. Sleep was good. But another part was worried because for her to fall asleep so early would mean that she probably had cried herself to exhaustion. Then again, they had been hauled up in my room for approximately four hours.

With a sigh, I nodded. "Need a lift home?" I asked. Not that I really was eager to drive this kid home, wherever that was, but I guessed Veronica would expect me to do that.

To my relief, he shook his head. "Nah, I called my mom. She's coming to pick me up in a while."

"You may want to leave through the back door. That should get you around the hounds out there," I told him and stood up, stretched. "I'll have to bring you there, though, to key in the code. Just say when you're ready to leave."

Instead of acknowledging my advise, he glare-frowned. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

I lifted an eyebrow. "Advising you on the best way to get out of my house?"

"With Veronica. The least she needs now is you messing around with her head," Wallace said, his voice surprisingly sharp for him. At least that was my impression.

Sighing, I shook my head. I halfway had expected a lecture from him anyway. And today definitely seemed to be the day of lectures concerning a certain tiny blond currently sleeping in my bed. "It may be hard to understand for you but I'm not planning anything evil, nor do I mess around with her head."

"_Right_."

I shrugged. "Whatever."

"You leave her alone, Echolls," Wallace warned quietly.

Slowly getting annoyed, I glared. "No. No, I won't. But you can relax. Like said, I don't plan to do anything. She _is_ my friend," I told him flatly.

He snorted. "Some friend you are. Correct me if I'm wrong but I have yet to see you sitting with her at lunch one day. Or, I don't know, treat her like a human being and not as the butt of one of your bad jokes."

No. No, I was not going to loose it. Ronnie would never forgive me that. But boy, that guy was seriously asking for it.

"Things change, Wallace. Yeah, me and Ronnie haven't been that close lately." Understatement of the year, I know. "But we were once. I know her. I understand her. And I know that right now, she needs every friend she can use, and made a promise to her that I'm here now, there, when she needs me."

"Excuse me if I'm having a bit of trouble believing that. The last time we've met you bashed in her headlights with a freaking crowbar. And now I'm supposed to believe you went back to be her supposedly friend, just like that?" Wallace shook his head.

Shit. I've totally forgotten about him being there that day on the beach. I was too focused on teaching little Miss Mars a lesson for planting a bong in my locker. No wonder that guy didn't give me the time of day. "Look, that's in the past. I've apologized to her, sent her a check to cover for the damage. But perhaps you may remember that she had planted a bong in my locker and got me suspended for three days. For which my father stripped me of my car for two weeks." Not to mention the ten 'kisses' of his belt onto my back. "She wasn't exactly innocent in all this."

"You vandalized her car with a crowbar! No idea what you'd have done next if Weevil hadn't shown up!" Wallace though pointed out angrily.

My eyes narrowed. Okay. This was going too far now. Ronnie's friend or not, this I couldn't just let go. "Nothing would have happened other than us exchanging a few more pleasantries. I'm not always the nicest guy, but I don't beat on woman and you better remember that before you imply such a thing to me again, let alone in my own house." I took a deep breath, forcing my voice to lower again, to calm down. "I wasn't going to hurt her and she knows that."

He held my eyes. "You did nothing this past year but hurt her," he told me, quietly. "I won't let you continue with that."

I frowned. "Did she say that?" I wanted to know, worriedly. I knew I had been a jackass towards her, but not exclusively. She didn't really think that, didn't she?

"She never said a word about you or anyone else for that matter," Wallace answered. "But I have ears. I heard the stories, the rumors, most of them courtesy to you, aren't they? And I have eyes. I saw the hurt in them whenever you called her names, as well as the longing she sometimes gets when she's looking at you and Duncan Kane."

Looking away, I tried to battle down my guilt. Fuck it. "Yeah well, she wasn't the only one hurt." I looked back at him, my eyes hard. "You don't know everything, Fennel. Not about Ronnie, sure as hell not about me and definitely not about us. We have history together. And we have issues. But there's also knowledge, connection, a band if you want." For a moment, I looked away, towards the window to my room, before my gaze went back to Wallace, firm now. "The past is the past though and all that counts is the here and now. And I'm here now and I intend to stay. So you better get used to have me around her." My voice softened. "I don't want to fight with you, I know better than that. You don't have to like me, but you'll have to deal with me. Because the least she needs right now is us two being at each other's throat."

He frowned. "So I should just believe you care, all of a sudden."

God, that guy was dense… or really annoyingly adamant to hate me. Too bad he was Ronnie's best friend. As I said, I intended to stay. So I'd need a way to get along with that guy. Ronnie was absolute loyal to her friends. I should now, after all, once I had basked in just that light of hers.

"That's exactly it: It's not all of a sudden," I told him icily and stood up, pacing over to the bar to poor myself a drink, uneasy. Grinding my teeth, I slammed the bottle down again without even pouring one drop and turned back to face him. "We are friends since we were twelve years old. Not just some loose friends, close friends. We trusted each other, relied on each other, looked out for each other, were there for the other one. I've never forgotten that, couldn't, because just because of that I was so angry with her. I thought she did betray me and our friendship when she chose her dad over me. I expected of anyone to let me down, but not of her. So we fought. And yeah, it was a long, harsh fight and sometimes it downright got ugly." My eyes pierced his. "But in the end it just was a fight. A fight that's over for a while now. A fight, that's forgiven, at least I hope so. I am still her friend. She's still my friend. I _never_ stopped caring. I just forced myself into believing I didn't care, to ignore the pain I saw I caused her." I took a deep breath. "I'm not telling you all this as a sort of excuse or explanation. I don't owe you either. But you are important to her and I need you to stay the hell away from what is going on between me and Ronnie. Like said, I don't care if you like me or mot. But don't try to get between me and Ronnie. You wouldn't like it."

"Are you threatening me?" he asked, incredulous.

Shit, I had, sort of, hadn't I? Once again, I forced myself to calm down. "No. No, I'm not." Cursing, I turned and did pour myself a drink that I quickly downed. "But perhaps you should ask around about how it was before our fight. About how no one messed around with my friends and what happened if they did," I said quietly and hoped that he would actually do just that. It would be good for the morons if they started to remember as well. Finally, I turned back around to Wallace. "Look, she's here, isn't she? I didn't force her here, nor have I stopped her from leaving. You heard yourself how she herself said she wanted to stay here. So why don't you just trust in Ronnie's good ability to judge people and leave me alone?"

He held my eyes for a long while. "That's the only reason why I don't force her to come home with me. But I think she may be a bit biased when it comes to you, the once so good friend turned enemy who still rode to her aide in the time of need. Me, I happen to not be tainted by memories of someone you may not be anymore. So no, I don't trust you a bit, especially not that you won't hurt her again. If you could do it so easily before, you can do it again. But I warn you to better not do that again. She has friends now too, you know, friends who won't betray her on the first opportunity. And believe me, you may be a 09er, hell, you may be their king, but we can make your life a living hell." Something beeped. "That's probably my mom. Don't bother. I'll just go out the front door." He turned and went to the door. There, he looked back at me. "Remember: Watch out what you are doing." Thus said, he left.

Flabbergasted, I stared after him. What… Had that kid really just threatened me? And quite effectively actually? Not that I was worried or bothered about that. Far from it. No one could turn my life into a living hell. That, it already was and probably would stay until I turned eighteen and could bale out of here. Okay, so I guess he could do make it worse, but still…

Not that I was planning to hurt Ronnie ever again. I was done with that. And Fennel was wrong if he thought it had been easy to do that at all. Even believing in her betrayal, it still had been the hardest thing I ever did, the first time I deliberately rendered her to tears. And it didn't get easier. Each time, I forced myself to not give into the instinct to comfort her rather than cause her hurt. God, had I been glad when she stopped crying and instead started to give me back each word I said to her fair and square. Only then had it become easier – almost like a game between us, a competition. We always had liked to bicker, now, it was a step more hateful, uglier – but in a way, it was still a form of bickering.

I moved over to shut down the television before I left the pool house. Distinctively, I heard commotion from the big gate, but I didn't care. I've warned Wallace, hadn't I? Offered to bring him out of the house without having those lechers sticking a microphone into your face or being bombarded with questions. But he didn't listen and that was what he'd get for it. Hell, perhaps he was even thrilled by it.

No.

Wallace wasn't that kind of guy. I knew them well enough and he didn't strike me as one. Besides… He wouldn't be Ronnie's friend if he were. She hated those attention hookers almost as much as I.

With a detour through the kitchen, I got back to my room. And indeed, Veronica was sleeping – and there were traces of tears on her face. For a moment, I stood by my bed and just stared at the sleeping girl.

Friend. Enemy. Friend.

I didn't care what her friends were thinking.

Ronnie was one of mine. Still is. I'm back now. And I'll stay, whatever may come.

* * *

I had sat down in one of my chairs and had made myself comfortable. Sure, I guess I could have gone back to the pool house or the main living room to watch TV or something, but I didn't want to leave her alone. I didn't want her to wake up and be alone.

Perhaps an hour and a half later, she started to stir in her sleep. In the bad way. I had enough nightmares to recognize the signs. Her starting to fidget, a frown wrinkling up her forehead, her entire small body tensing. For a moment, I watched her with a frown, debating if I should wake her or not. Instinct said yes – head warned me that she may not like it. But the second she started to moan all inner discussions vanished and I was over at her, stroking calmingly over her head while I murmured for her to calm down, that she was safe, that it was just a nightmare, that I was there. It took a few minutes for her to open her eyes, staring up at me with confused eyes, the shadow of the horrors she had seen in her sleep still there.

"Logan?"

I nodded, brushing the back of my hand over her cheek. "Yeah. It's okay. You had a nightmare."

My soft voice seemed to calm her further, but still, she closed her eyes and drew in a breath, shuddering. "My dad…" she whispered.

With a sigh, I drew her into my arms. "I'm sorry," I told her quietly.

For a while, we just laid there. Eventually though, she freed herself from my hold and sat up, looking down at Back-Up sleeping peacefully on the floor beside her. "He's probably hungry," she said, sounding awfully normal. Too normal.

Not letting her out of my eyes, I sat back up as well. "I let him out and refilled his bowl about an hour ago," I informed her.

"Oh…" she said, her back still towards me. "Thanks. But you didn't have to. I can look after my own dog."

"That's good, because that's what you'll have to do. No way in hell am I ever going to scratch up his shit, Mars," I told her and shrugged. "He just kept whining and staring at me with those sad brown eyes he masters so well and it just grew too pathetic so I did something against it."

At that, she laughed and glanced over her shoulder at me. "Carefully, Echolls, one could think you're all mushy over my dog."

"Hey, I was scared for my own life here!" I immediately protested and pointed at the pit-bull. "You've ever seen him fletching his teeth towards you? Glancing at certain very valuable body parts of mine? Damn well I do what it's necessary to please him."

"You can't fool me, Logan. You've always been spoiling him rotten whenever you were over. So you can as well admit it," she said, standing up and stretching. "You're a faller for his big brown puppy dog eyes."

"You should see someone about your hallucinations, Mars, they're starting to worry me," I grumbled, staying up as well, not missing the way her eyes laughed at me. "I didn't spoil him. And I sure as hell am no faller to his dog powers."

She crossed her arms over her chest and neighed her head to the side. "You so were. He just had to give you his big eyes and wag his tail and already you were almost running to go get him a T-bone steak."

I frowned. "Don't exaggerate."

"Oh, excuse me, but were you not the one who brought said T-bone steak for Back-Up when you came over for Thanksgiving that year you're dad was shooting in Europe and your mom had joined him for the trip?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Just the steak, mind you. No flowers for Mom, no Cubans for Dad, no chocolate for me, just a class A steak for the dog."

"Well, he deserved a special treat as well with us all eating that big, juicy turkey," I defended myself.

"Whatever," she chuckled as she knelt down to scratch Back-Up behind his ears.

I considered continuing my point, but then thought better of it. I had ridiculed myself enough as it was. Damn my weakness for that big dog of hers! So I changed topic by turning to grab the plate I've brought with me from the kitchen earlier on and helped myself to a bit salami. "Now, all this talk about steaks made me hungry," I commented and glanced at her. "Want some? You could use a bite or two."

She didn't even look up. "I'm not hungry."

Halfway having expected that answer but still being disappointed by it, I moved to sit down in front of her, holding the plate out to her. "I get that. But you need to eat none the less. So just do me the favor and eat a little, okay? Just a little."

Finally, she looked up, staring at me.

"Please?" I asked quietly, raising an eyebrow.

Usually, direct approach never worked well with Ronnie. But sometimes, it was the only way to get through to her.

With a sigh, she picked up a cherry tomato and slowly put it into her mouth. "You've learned well from Back-Up," she said dryly, once she had swallowed it down.

"He is the master, that he is," I simply said, hiding my smile.

She took a bit of ham next while I helped myself to more salami when it knocked and my mom came into my room, smiling apologetically. "Sorry to disturb you, but there's a Detective Hunter here to see you, Veronica."

Swallowing down, Veronica quickly stood up, a trace of fear or worry on her face, I couldn't quite pinpoint it. "Oh… I'll be there in just a second, okay?"

"Sure darling, I'll tell him," Mom said, never loosening the smile.

"Thanks, Mrs Echolls," Veronica said with a nod.

"Lynn, Veronica, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Mom chided her gently.

Ronnie blushed and looked down, before she looked back up again. "Lynn, yes, sorry… And… Well, I wanted to thank you that you let me stay here for a while. That's really very generous of you."

Mom surprised both of us by coming over and hug Veronica. "Nonsense, Veronica. Your father was a good man and friend. It's the least we can do. I'm just glad you silly kids finally ended that awful fight between you." She drew back and blinded us with her happy smile. "Now hurry, darling, that detective doesn't look like a very patient man."

Before either of us could say anything, she had left.

Frowning, I looked up at Veronica. "Hunter? That's this Sam, isn't he? Your guardian."

She nodded absentmindedly. "Well, I better hurry. Your mom's right, Sam's not exactly known for his patience. Especially when I'm right about why he's here."

My frown deepening, I watched her vanish into the bathroom. What did she mean? Why was this Sam here? A thought came to me and I felt my heart beating faster. He wasn't here to take Ronnie away, was he? Shit! I could perhaps prevent her from leaving for Wallace's place, but how could I stop her guardian and detective from taking her away from me?

She came back, her face washed and her hair brushed, and I stood up. "Want me to come with you?" I asked quietly.

"No. It's better I face him alone. But thanks for the offer." She gave me a weak smile and then turned and left to go meet this Sam dude.

For a moment, I sat there in my room, before I cursed silently and followed her out. She may not want me around… but I needed to hear why this guy was here. What his plans with Ronnie were.

They were in the living room, so it wasn't hard to eavesdrop into their conversation without being seen.

"What the hell were you thinking, Veronica?" was the first thing Hunter said when Ronnie joined him, sounding majorly pissed off.

"Hello to you too," Ronnie sighed.

"Don't come at me with that, Ronica!" Hunter warned her. "You have thirty seconds to explain why you were at the morgue. And thirty more to explain why you were so incredibly stupid to go to your dad's office."

"I guess Fausto called you, huh? But how do you know I've been at the office?" I could practically hear the frown in her eyes.

"Please Ronica. I've known you since day one. I know how Keith brought you up. And I heard what you've all done since you started working for your father, driving him crazy with worry and making him proud of you at the same time. I knew you'd go sooner or later, but today, Ronica? What were you thinking? It's still a crime scene! I'd have thought you're dad taught you better than to tamper with such! And that you'd be smarter than to go risk yourself like that!"

There was no answer from Ronnie and I frowned. I got that Hunter was worried but he shouldn't be talking to her like that.

"Don't you have anything to say?"

"Dad taught me that the more time goes by, the colder the traces go. So I did what had to be done." There was stealth in Ronnie's voice like I've seldom heard it.

"You are not going to investigate your own father's murder. No way will I let you do that! Keith would have my balls for letting you risk your life like that!"

"But he's not here anymore, isn't he? Because someone killed him!" There was a waver in her voice and I forced myself to stay where I was instead of rushing over to her. "I need to know why and who has done it. And then I want him to pay for it."

"Don't you think I want that too? Kitten, I've known your dad since we were eighteen! He was my partner, my best friend, my brother in everything but blood! I want to find that asshole as well! But there's no way I let you risk yourself by going after him. Let the people do that who know what they are doing," Hunter tried to reason and I suppressed a snort.

Yeah right.

"And who would that be? Lamb?"

There was so much hate in her voice that I fleetingly wondered if there was more behind that hate than Lamb helping running her dad out of office.

"Ronica," Hunter sighed. "I know Lamb's an idiot, but he did learn by your father. And I'm here too. I won't stop until I find the killer."

"Oh, so Lamb has released you from your desk job and lets you work on the case?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Ronica…"

"No Sam! We both know that his chances to find the killer are as big as him turning into a decent human being. None. Just look at how he has fucked up Lilly's case. And you can do only so much without loosing your job. Besides, whoever did this will expect you to come after him, if he has done his job well. He or they will be on the watch out for you, maybe even killing you too if you get too close. They won't expect me, though."

"Oh, but you think they won't kill you?" Hunter asked sarcastically.

"I'm not planning to go catch them, I'm not that dense. Please give me a bit credit here. But nothing and no one will stop me from looking into this, not you, not Logan, not anyone. I can promise you though that I won't rush into things, won't go out alone and if I find something with hand and feet, you'll be the first to know."

"It isn't that easy, Kitten," Hunter said softly.

"Yes it is. You know me Sam, as you so beautifully pointed out. You really think you or anyone else can stop me?"

A few seconds silence, then a heartfelt curse. I smiled sadly. Boy, did I know that sentiment.

"It won't stop me from trying, Ronica. I promised your dad I'd watch out for you, should anything ever happen to him and I will honor that oath." Hunter sounded pretty frustrated there. I knew that sentiment as well.

Ronnie could be very frustrating.

"I know. And I'm glad you're here. I love you, you know that." She said it so simply that it came over even more powerful. As Hunter needed a while to speak I guessed it hadn't missed his goal.

He cleared his throat eventually and continued more softly. "Yeah well, best you go get your things and Back-Up now."

"What?" Ronnie exclaimed as my head shot up in alarm, my heart starting to beat faster once again.

Oh _no_!

"I'm your guardian. I know Cliff told you as much. I'm no expert but I do believe that it's my job to provide for you from now on. Starting with you living with me. So go get your things."

"No."

At her plain out refusal, I held my breath in surprise.

"What?" Hunter asked, sounding seriously shocked as well.

"I want to stay here."

My heart stopped.

"Ronica, really, there's no way…"

"No, just listen for a moment, okay? First of all, you live too far away. It would be hell for me to get to school and back and Back-Up would be too long alone. But… I… Look Sam, I just… I need Logan right now, okay? I need him to be around me."

With a rush, my heart started to beat again, faster than ever before. And warmer.

"Logan?"

I frowned at Hunter's incredulity.

"Yes, Logan," Ronnie answered defensively.

"The same Logan that made your life a living hell this past year?"

"The one and only."

"The same Logan that bashed in your headlights?"

God, was that thing going to follow me for the rest of my life?

"He paid for it."

"Oh, how generous of him."

"I don't expect you to understand. I expect no one to understand. Part of me doesn't understand it either. But it is as it is." She took a deep breath. "I need him right now. I know what has happened before, know how he had been to me, how I've been to him. But that's over now. He's here for me now and I need it, him."

The warmth I was feeling in my heart slowly started to spread out.

"For how long, Kitten? How long will it take for him to turn against you once again?"

I frowned. Why was anyone having such a hard time believing that I wasn't going to mess this up once again?

"You don't know him the way I do, Sam. Logan… yeah, he can be a jackass, a big one. But he's also one hell of a friend. He made me a promise and I believe him, trust him to keep his word like he usually does. We're back to friends. And he knows me on a way I need right now, because since the first second you told me about Dad, he's been the sole reason why I didn't lost it. Why it's bearable right now. Please Sam… don't take that away from me. I know I can't stay here forever, but just for a few more days, okay? Just until after the funeral?"

By now, the warmth had filled up my entire being and I closed my eyes. Fuck… how had I ever been able to let her go? I really should have known better. Despite how angry and blinded by rage I've been.

"Kitten…"

"Please. Please Sam. It's hard to admit that I need him as it is. You know I wouldn't beg you like I do if it isn't important to me. Let me stay here, just for a while longer. Please."

My eyes snapped back open at the growing quavering in her voice. That was it. I couldn't stay out of this any longer. Pushing away from the wall, I stepped around the corner and moved with big strides over to where Ronnie was staying, facing Hunter with big, pleading eyes.

"I second that. Let her stay. I need to be here for her right now," I declared, firmly.

"Logan!" she exclaimed with a start, turning her head to stare up at with a mixture of annoyance – but also gratitude if I wasn't wrong. I gave her a lopsided grin and stepped closer to her, then fixed my eyes onto Hunter's.

"I'm going to keep an eye on her, I promise. But don't take her away from me, not yet." I grimaced for a moment, then sighed. "Please."

With narrowed eyes, Hunter looked from Ronnie to me and back – and forth. Finally, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Man, you two are really a pair."

Ronnie and I both waited, not saying anything.

"Oh, stop giving me those Bambi eyes, you two," Hunter grumbled and sighed, taking a closer look at Ronnie – and the way she leaned into me. "Okay, okay. I guess my place is a bit of a mess anyway at the moment. Can't hurt if I get it cleaned up first and God knows that will take some time." He sighed again, his eyes hardening. "Okay, I let you stay for a few days longer. But it's only temporarily, understood?"

Ronnie's face lit up and she rushed forward, hugging Hunter tightly who in turn hold her tightly as well. Eventually, he kissed the top of her head and released her.

"We were just going to have some dinner. Want to join us?" I simply asked.

"No thanks. I better get going. There are a few things I need to look upon." He frowned. "Don't do anything stupid, Ronica."

"Wouldn't dream on it," she said, sounding offended.

"If I could only believe that," Hunter sighed and his gaze turned to me, hardened. Suddenly, I was very reminded of Keith Mars and his way to warn off any boys in a five mile radius around Ronnie with one single look. I gulped. "And you boy, you better won't let me regret my decision to leave her in your care for a few more days."

"No, I won't, Sir," I promised earnestly if perhaps a bit hastily as well.

"You better." He nodded darkly and turned back to Ronnie, his eyes softening. "I come by tomorrow again. Be careful, Kitten. And call me if anything happens. I mean it."

She nodded. "I will. And thanks, Sam." She gulped and we both could see that she was fighting with her emotions.

Briefly, Hunter nodded and, with another kiss onto the top of Veronica's head, he quickly left.

We stood there in silence, looking after him for… no idea how long we stood there.

"Why am I not surprised you eavesdropped?" Ronnie eventually broke the silence.

I offered her a rueful smile. "Because I'm a naughty boy and you know that?"

"That must be it," she sighed and then turned to me, looking up, turning serious. "But… I meant it, you know. Every word I said. And I… I just… Thanks, okay? Thanks for coming through for me. For being here. For keeping me sane."

I swallowed and gently reached up to touch her cheek, trying to ignore how warm my own cheeks felt all of a sudden. "It was about time I think."

She nodded. "Thanks anyway."

Okay, this was growing a bit too heavy for my taste. I let my hand fall down with a last caress. And when had it gotten so warm in here? "Okay, I get it. It's nothing anyway." I stopped and looked away. When I looked back to her, I forced myself to a half hearted smirk. "But you know, I don't feel the gratitude yet. I mean, Weevil got a kiss for his help and all I get are bogus remarks about my relationship to your dog?"

Her eyebrows shot up.

My smirk won at intensity. "Really, what kind of a way is that to thank me?"

"Logan Echolls, are you fishing for a kiss?" Ronnie said, sounding amused. "Are pigs flying? Because I'm pretty sure the devil himself just turned into a snowman. When did you grow that desperate to blackmail some chick into giving you a kiss?" Her eyes narrowed. "Or are you actually jealous of _Weevil_?"

Jealous? Me? Of _Weevil_? Oh please!

"Better get back to that Planet you come from, Mars," I told her, haughtily. "All I'm saying is that I find it not…"

I was shut up by her standing onto her tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss onto my cheek. "Thank you, Logan," she whispered into my ear, causing a shiver going down my spine.

Before I could even think about getting over the shock of feeling her soft lips on my cheek, she bounced back onto her feet and with a chuckle, left towards my room.

Still unable to move, I stared after her, stupidly.

And fuck, if my mouth wasn't actually hanging open, gaping after her!

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: And here's the next chapter, folks! It took longer this time, but it is a lot longer as well, plus, up from Thursday until Monday I never have much time to write. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Once again, thanks for the many, wonderful reviews. They just make my day! And of course it's Jenson and not Jason. I've changed it in the meantime.)_


	5. Funeral

**Chapter 5: Funeral**

"Okay, let's see. We have talked about the coffin, the ceremony, the priest, the music, who's going to say a few words and the flowers," Cliff said, checking his list. "We finally need to get the cards out though so you should give me that list of people you want me to contact. And the paper's ready for the announcement to appear tomorrow but you still need to say which one's yours final choice," he said, pointing at the two drafts we had worked out. Or rather said, _he_ had worked out.

I haven't done much as I noticed over the last three hours. To my defense, I had no idea just how many decisions had to be made about a funeral – and how fast they wanted these decisions. How could anyone do this on his own? Me, I barely could think because it hurt so much and if it weren't for Cliff and Logan, I doubt there'd be a funeral for at least six months. Thank God for them. Apparently, besides drowning his sorrow in alcohol, Cliff really had been busy to make all the necessary phone calls and bring everything to roll. After lunch he had shown up, true to his word, with his briefcase full of samples, contracts and a seemingly never ending list as to what needed to be done. So, for the last three hours I had to pick out a coffin, a suit, which flowers I wanted, which music I wanted, had to decide who I wanted to ask to say a few things and just how much involved the priest should be. Then there came the details of which hall I wanted, where to hold the reception, what I wanted to be said in his eulogy in the paper and which notifications/invitations for the ceremony I wanted. Oh yeah, and when exactly I wanted to bury my father.

And it was hard, so damn hard. I've lost count on just how many times I nearly lost control and threatened to simply crumble down into a weeping mess. How many times I wanted to tell Cliff to go fuck off, that I couldn't deal with this right now. I hadn't though and I'm glad about that. I do hate to feel so lost, so helpless – so useless. And I had, once again, to thank Logan that I made it so far without a breakdown. _He _held me together when I couldn't do that myself anymore. When the tears threatened to come, he'd lightly touch me, anywhere, just to remind me that he was there. If my throat closed off too badly for me to speak, he'd jump in, asking Cliff this or that to give me time, his hand holding firm to mine though. And the one time I really became too overwhelmed to deal with it anymore, he sent Cliff out of the room to go get us something to drink and then held me, just held me until I could breathe again.

I don't know how he knows just what I need, but I'm eternally grateful for it. And for that alone I'll never regret to have allowed us to give our friendship a second chance. Even if he'd turn back to being my enemy tomorrow, I could never regret that. But he won't, of that I'm sure, have no doubt at all about it.

Though I'm pretty much alone at thinking that. Wallace had been less than pleased about me staying with Logan and then I even chose to remain just where I was. He had wanted to know how it had come to that and I could see that he really wanted to say just how I could have let that happen. Of course he didn't push me, after all, I was mourning for my father, but he did warn me not to trust Logan. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn't understand – didn't want to. In a way, I can't blame him for that. All he had ever witnessed was Logan being a jackass to me and a psychotic one at that. The last time they really had been together was when Logan had bashed in my headlights. And me cursing Logan time and time again in the time since I've met Wallace sure didn't help either in convincing him that Logan wasn't going to hurt me again.

Wallace didn't know Logan the way I do. Had never seen how he can be, if he wants to.

"Veronica?"

A finger stroking up my arm. "Ronnie?"

I came back to my gruesome task and took a shaky deep breath. "That one," I said and pointed to one of the announcements, the simpler one. But Dad would have wanted it that way.

"Okay," Cliff said gently and marked it before moving it to the 'done' side of the table. "Now the list…"

"I'll get it to you until tomorrow morning," I promised tonelessly. Probably that was too much time, but that was the soonest I could manage. I didn't want to forget someone Dad would have wanted there, so I needed time to clear my head and think about it, something I couldn't do right now.

Sure enough, Cliff hesitated, but then nodded, looking down at his damn list again. "Well, then we should talk about what you want to be served at the reception. I think a simple cold buffet is enough, nothing too much overdone. As for the drinks…"

_Food_? My father was fucking dead and they wanted me to think about food and drinks?

At that moment, something inside me snapped. I needed to get out of this room, away from all these samples and decisions and most of all, away from that damn list. I. Just. Needed. To. Get. Out.

Cliff and Logan both looked up startled when I forcefully pushed my chair back and stood up.

I ignored their frowns though by staring blindly ahead. "Excuse me for a moment," I managed to get out before I turned and bolted out the patio door.

What I wanted to do was just keep going but unfortunately, as soon as I rounded the pool there was nowhere to go for me. Sure, I could get around the pool house, go for the yard, but then the reporters would see me and soon I'd hit the fence anyway. Clenching my fist, I stormed into the pool house instead where I started to pace like a nervous panther. Back and forth, back and forth.

Logan hadn't followed me and I was glad about it, though not surprised. He had developed an almost eerie sense of knowing exactly when I needed to be just alone, like right now, or when I needed to be anything but alone, like in the past three hours.

So, when I heard a throat clearing, I startled pretty much and swiveled around. Aaron Echolls was sitting in a comfy chair, reading a book. Well, was reading a book, I assume, now he was looking at me.

I blushed deeply in embarrassment. "Oh, so sorry to have disturbed you Mr Echolls, I didn't see you were here," I apologized quickly.

Logan's father chuckled and waved my apology away. "No need to apology, Veronica, really. And please, it's Aaron."

Chagrined, I nodded. "I'll leave you to your reading then," I said and turned to leave.

"You can stay if you want, you know," Logan's father said though and put the book aside, looking sympathetically at me. "Lynn told me that you were going over the funeral details?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice to crack.

He sighed. "I remember when I had to do that for my parents. It can get tough. You needed to get away from it for a moment?"

Again, I simply nodded.

He smiled, a smile not dissimilar to Logan's, though there was a difference there. Perhaps because with Logan's dad, I never quite knew when he smiled really and when it was just a professional smile. "Then stay for a while longer and we talk about something else entirely to give you a little break," he offered. "Besides, I do admit to be a bit stir-crazy myself at the moment and glad for any distractions."

Hesitantly, I looked between the door and Logan's father. Frankly said, I rather wanted to be just alone. But this was the master of the house after all and he was kind enough to let me stay for the time being so I guessed if he wanted to chat a little, it was the least I could do. So far, I hadn't seen much of Logan's dad. Logan and Lynn had told me that he still needed a lot of bed rest. And I've been holed up mostly in Logan's room. Slowly, I turned back to Logan's dad.

"How's your wound, Mr Echolls?" I asked, not really knowing what else to say.

"Aaron," he insisted one more time and then grimaced. "It's healing alright. Just a bit tender, still." His eyes met mine. "But considering the alternative, I'm more than happy about it. Your father saved my life that night. I will never forget that, Veronica, I promise you that."

Definitely not wanting to talk about my dad, I nodded and looked down. "Thank you… Aaron," I said quietly.

I almost would have said Mr Echolls again and had just caught myself in time. To slip once after being asked to call a person with his first name could happen, do it twice in a row was impolite. I didn't know why I had so much trouble referring to Logan's father as Aaron. With Lynn it came naturally. Perhaps it was because he was this big movie star. Okay, I shared Logan's opinion and wasn't that big a fan of Aaron Echolls and his acting skills, but the man _had_ won three Oscars and a few Golden Globes. No… the problem was that I just didn't like Logan's father that much, not that I could say I knew much about him. There always had been something in him that made me careful around him. Or perhaps it was just Logan's disrespect and disliking of his father that had always colored my opinion of him. Whatever it was – I just didn't trust him.

But he let me stay when he very well could have refused to have a stranger in his house, especially at a time like this and he was acting fairly nice now.

"I'm really glad you and Logan made up. It was about time." He looked outside. "He… wasn't quite himself ever since Lilly died."

"Neither was I," I stated. "I think that's only normal."

Aaron's eyes went back to mine and he nodded. "I guess so. But since you're here, he's a lot calmer. He seems a lot happier too, despite the circumstances." He smiled. "It looks as if you were able to bring him back from that path of destruction he had been on lately and I'm really relieved to see that. I just wanted you to know that. And thank you for it."

I blushed again. This came pretty unexpected, so I didn't really know how to respond to his words. Finally, I settled on a shrug. "I didn't do anything, Aaron. He's the one who goes out of his way to help me."

His only answer was a knowing smile. What he thought he knew – no idea.

"Veronica?"

Immensely relieved to hear that voice, I turned my head to see Logan standing in the door, looking between me and his father.

"Logan!" I breathed, so very thankful for his interruption and stepped towards him.

His eyes settled on me, gently. "McCormick really needs you for a few more things," he told me softly.

Sighing, I nodded and closed the distance between us to come to a stand beside Logan. His hand brushed mine and I felt myself become a tad more peaceful. I looked back at Logan's dad. "Thanks for the chat, Aaron. And sorry for the disturbance again."

I felt Logan giving me a look when I referred to his father by his first name, but he said nothing. His dad in turn once again waved my apology away. "It's been a pleasure, Veronica, really." His eyes slid to Logan. "Son," he said with a nod.

Logan gave him a look as well and then turned to me. "Come on, we really should get back," he said and ushered me out of the pool house, looking back at his father with a frown though.

"Did he upset you?" he wanted to know after we've taken a few steps towards the main house.

"No," I assured him and really, he hadn't. "He was nice to me, don't worry."

"Good," he muttered, darkly.

I glanced at Logan and saw that his jaw was clenched, but he said nothing. So this time, _I_ briefly touched his hand for a change and was glad to see that he too seemed to relax after a moment. For as long as I can remember, there always had been tension between Logan and his father, whenever I saw them together. Which didn't happen that often, frankly said. I never found out why and I didn't ask either, always thinking that if Logan wanted to talk about it, he would and if he didn't, fine as well. Now though I got the feeling that perhaps I should ask him about it one of these times. Definitely not now though.

Now, I had to organize my father's funeral.

Taking a deep breath, I went back through the patio doors to see Cliff still sitting at the table. Drawing comfort from Logan's warmth at my back, I stepped back towards the table.

"No buffet. We'll have lasagna. And pizza. And macaroni and cheese. And bowls of ice cream with a cherry on top of it. And we'll serve beer, coke and lemon juice," I told Cliff, determined.

"Veronica…"

I shook my head. "No Cliff. Either that or nothing at all."

He met my eyes, recognized the stubbornness in them and with a sigh, nodded and wrote it down.

Content, I sat back down. Dad would get a funeral he would have loved, I'd see to it.

* * *

"I know it's futile to tell you that I think this is a bad idea and we should just head back," Logan said with a sigh. "But I want it noted that I think it's a bad idea."

"Noted," I said and got out of his car.

"And I won't guarantee that this will not end up with me getting thrown into a cell for assaulting the sheriff," Logan added, falling into steps by me as we climbed up the stairs leading to the sheriff's department.

"No, you will not. Believe me, I understand the desire to beat on Lamb, but he will throw you into that cell if you go through with it and we can't have that," I told him patiently.

"No? Why not? It would be worth it. And my lawyers would have me out in no time anyway," Logan whined and held up the door for me.

"Yeah, but it would still remove you from my side for a while and you remind me often enough just how boring and sad life is without your presence to piss me off," I told him lightly while my heart was dead serious.

I needed him right now, no doubt about that. He was my life line in this vortex and I shuddered at the thought of not having him close. Perhaps it was weak for me to depend so much on him, but you know what? I'm seventeen, have just lost my dad, my only real parent I had left and to hell with it. Anything to keep me going. And as strange as it may seem to the outside, Logan keeps me going for the moment.

There was a shimmer in his eyes that told me that he had caught up on the truce in my fib, but thankfully, he didn't call me on it.

He nodded with a smirk. "That's right. You better don't forget that," he said and made a bow for me to go past him.

Rolling my eyes, I entered the sheriff's department and walked up to Inga's desk.

"Hi Inga," I greeted her.

Her eyes flooded and before I knew it, she had rounded the desk and I was crushed in a tight embrace. Awkwardly, I returned the hug. I always had liked Inga. The gentle German elderly woman always had a smile and a candy for me when I've been a kid and had to wait for dad to finish yet again. And Inga had always liked working for my dad, never having supported his dismissal and replacement through Don Lamb.

"Ach, mein kleiner Engel," she exclaimed and from past experience I knew that she had said something like 'my little angel'. She drew back and looked sadly at me. "I'm so sorry about your dad, Engelchen."

Swallowing hard, I nodded. When I had braced myself to go to the office I foolishly had only steeled myself against Lamb's stupid and nasty remarks, totally forgetting that there still worked a lot of people who had worked with my father, had liked him a lot, respected him. Damn it. I couldn't need this emotional drama right now. Not when I had to face Lamb. Heaven knew that would be hard enough.

"Thanks, Inga… I know how much he liked you as well," I forced out and stepped back, closer to Logan.

"And I him, Engelchen, I him," she assured me, sniffling and then went back around her desk –thank God! "What can I do for you?"

Good, good. That was what I needed. Business. "I wanted to see the Sheriff. Is he in?"

Her face closed off a little and she cast a nervous look towards Lamb's office. "Yes, he is, but really, Engelchen, I'm not sure if…"

"Thanks Inga!" I interrupted her with a smile and moved over to the closed door of Lamb's office.

"Veronica!" Inga protested, but I had already knocked once and then opened the door, walking in.

Logan was right behind me. "Gee, Mars, way to go," he murmured.

Lamb looked up, startled and immediately frowned upon recognizing his intruders.

"Veronica," he said without much enthusiasm. In fact, he sounded pretty unpleased about my visit.

Big surprise.

"Don, how nice to see you again!" I chirped and went over to plop down into the chair in front of his desk, my smile cold. "I came to make my statement. And I'd like to hear how far you are in my father's case."

His forehead wrinkled up in confusion. "Statement?"

"Of course you'll want my statement, don't you? I'm very thankful to you that you didn't want to pound on me in my grief, that was really very considerate of you, but I'm over the worst now and think I'll be able to answer your questions now," I told him sweetly.

His eyes narrowed.

"Well, what you'll want to know? I got up at seven thirty and ate the breakfast Dad had made me. He left shortly before eight and I went to shower, dressed and then grabbed my things to head to school. There I attended four rather boring classes until lunch break arrived. I think you know the rest. By now you surely checked upon my non existent finances and found that there's no transaction there that would indicate that I have anything to do with my father's murder. Now that I'm eliminated as a suspect: what have you learned so far?" I finished coldly.

Lamb leant back in his chair and just stared at me. Humorlessly, I took on the challenge and stared back, never loosing the cold smile. Lamb couldn't scare me. Not anymore. He had done the worst thing possible to me already when he had laughed in my face when I had tried to report my rape and three days ago he came to tell me the news about my father's death in the schoolyard, in front of _everyone_. Oh no, he couldn't do anything to me anymore.

And sure enough, he was the first to look away.

I still waited.

"You know I can't give you information on an ongoing investigation, Veronica," he eventually said, giving me his hard eyes.

I wasn't impressed. "Any you know that I won't stop bothering you until you give me what I want. This is my father's murder. Chances are high that no one will step forward this time to give you a convenient anonymous call to tip you off into the right direction – or rather said the wrong one," I told him icily. "So you won't be able to fake your way through this one like you have it done in Lilly Kane's case."

His eyes narrowed in anger. "I respect that you're grieving, Veronica, and that you're angry. But don't think I'll hesitate to have you thrown out of here. Or that I'll book you in the minute you do something to mess with this investigation."

Logan, so far having leaned against the wall behind me, pushed away and spoke before I even had a chance to open my mouth. "And you should be careful what you say and how you treat Veronica, Sheriff Lamb," he warned in a flat voice. "She has powerful friends now and they won't like to hear about you treating her inappropriately any more than you already did."

Lamb's eyes slid to him. "Oh yeah? Who? You?"

I tensed. Logan never reacted well to being taunted. I just hoped he would remember that I couldn't afford to have him locked up. To my relief, Logan wasn't goaded though. He just smiled in that haughty way I had hated so much when it was directed at me. Now, I secretly cheered him on. "Among others. My parents though may impress you more. Keith Mars saved my father's life a few weeks back, remember? He has a very great interest in finding his killer and see justice done to the man he owes his life."

Lamb fumed but was wise enough to not say anything more.

Deeply pleased, I got up and leaned over his desk, smiling. "Yeah, Donnie, you of all people should know just how fast you can be replaced," I told him quietly, straightened back again and turned to waltz out of his office. "I want results, Sheriff Lamb, and soon," I said as parting and left.

"Sheriff," Logan snubbed royally and followed me out, closing the door behind him.

Not wanting to ruin the impression I've just left, I smiled warmly at Inga and then made that I got the hell out of there. I needed a shower. Something at having to deal with that arrogant idiot always made me want to shower the soonest as possible. But God, it had felt good to tell him off, for once having reinforcement in my back that really bothered him!

I've barely made it to the stairs when I collided with a hard chest. Arms reached out to keep me from falling back and hands came to rest on my hips to steady me. Unfamiliar arms and hands – though there was a tiny sense of recognition there. I looked up into a familiar, concerned face.

"Sorry, didn't see you there," Leo apologized and his fingers stroked slightly over my hips. "You okay, Veronica?"

Damn.

And I had hoped so much to not run into Leo.

I stroked a stray hair away from my face and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," I told him with a nod and offered a weak smile. "Thanks, Leo."

He nodded and then, reluctantly I think, stepped back, his hands and arms falling away from me. I suddenly breathed more freely.

"I… I'm sorry about your dad, Veronica. I liked him a lot and from what I've heard, he had been a great cop," Leo said quietly.

My throat closed off and I nodded. "That he was."

He nodded and looked a moment longer at me. Then he slowly stood back to let me pass. I took two steps before I stopped and turned back to him. "Leo?"

He waited.

"For what it's worth: I'm sorry. I really didn't want to get you into trouble," I said quietly, giving him a long due apology.

For a moment, he looked away. When he looked back, he shrugged, smiling lopsidedly. "They did warn me about you, Mars. You're a sneaky one, they said. They were right." His smile intensified as his eyes bored more into mine. "But it still was fun. Well, not so much the suspension but meeting you definitely was an experience, Veronica Mars."

Relieved, I smiled back at him. "It was nice meeting you as well, Deputy Leo. And I had fun as well," I admitted quietly.

Leo's eyes stared into mine and I felt myself getting a bit warmer.

At that point, Logan cleared his throat as he stepped to come to stand beside me while his eyes were narrowed on Leo. "Hate to disturb the reunion, but we need to head back, Ronnie," he said, his voice flat.

I suppressed to roll my eyes and simply nodded. "You coming to the funeral?" I asked Leo. "It's on Monday."

He nodded. "If I can I'll sure be there."

"Good," I said softly and then let Logan pull me away, leading me down the stairs. When we reached the X-Terra and I looked back up, Leo was still standing there, watching us. With a little wave at him, I climbed into the car.

It took sixty-eight seconds for Logan to ask the question I had waited for ever since we've run into Leo, literally. "Who's officer smiley-face?"

I glanced at him, but he kept his eyes on the road.

"His name is Leo. And he's a deputy, pretty new on the force," I answered patiently.

"I figured that much," Logan snorted and glanced at me. "But _who_ is he?" he asked once again.

With a sigh, I relented. "I kind of used him to get the recordings of the tips the department got back for Lilly's case in order to find out who led Lamb to Abel Koontz while my dad worked with the police to find that serial killer. Lamb found out and he suspended Leo."

There was a moment of silence. "You seemed pretty friendly with officer dopey," Logan commented dryly.

"Well, he's a nice guy," I said, perhaps a bit more sharply than I had intended to. Seriously, what was his problem? "And he saved Dad's life when they caught the killer, so yeah, I feel pretty friendly towards him and am guilty for having gotten him into so much trouble."

"Oh, don't worry, officer smug-face is far from holding a grudge against you for that," Logan said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

I frowned, but before I could respond, he shook his head. "Well, does it work?"

Glad for the change of topic, I reached for my laptop on the backseat. "Let's find out."

Three minutes later my computer was up and I clicked open the listening device program.

"Who does that little bitch think she is, busting into my office like that to come threatening me?"

As Lamb's rambling voice filled the car, I grinned over to Logan. "It works."

Logan's grin matched mine, though I could see his anger at Lamb's words in his eyes. "How long will it take him to find the bug, what do you think?" he asked.

"Lamb? A while," I answered with a snob. "Did you manage to place the other one?"

"Please," Logan said, offended.

Quickly, I switched to the second bug.

"Sheriff's Department, Inga speaking?"

Yep, it worked just fine.

* * *

Three days of listening and there wasn't anything useful I've learned so far. Oh, I did gather a few juicy details about Lamb I could use for future blackmailing, but anything to help me find the murder of my father? Nope. Weevil called daily as well to give me a report, but problem was he had nothing to report so far. Sam dropped by every day but he clammed up the minute I started to talk about the investigation. I've gone through the current and recent files of my dad but so far, nothing struck me as worthy to have him killed. Of course I'd checked on them, still needed to do a few, but no, I doubted that Dad working any of those cases had led to his murder.

Lilly's file was still missing, but that was about the only thing strange that I found out so far. As I wasn't sure if Dad not simply hid it somewhere else, I couldn't be sure if there was any connection. I should go search at home but… I wasn't ready yet to go back there. This would be the hardest, the one place where his loss would be the most obvious and it was hard as it was to cope right now.

I was a coward. The trail was getting colder with every minute that passed, I knew that, but I just didn't seem to be able to find anything and I still stayed a coward. I hated myself for that, but I still couldn't change it.

I couldn't go back home, couldn't face it, not even if Logan went with me, not yet.

So I stayed in the Echolls' mansion, glad to have a place where I could hid from the reporters and the world without a father. I kept organizing the funeral that would take place tomorrow, going through it by clinging to Logan and otherwise switch to robot mode.

God, would I be glad once I got that behind me. At the same time though I dreaded it, because the day after the funeral, in two days, Sam expected me to move in with him. I was still trying to convince him to let me live in an apartment of my own, but so far he wouldn't have it. Maybe, I still could bring him to allow me living on my own, but it would take some time and him seeing what a nuisance it was for me to daily drive in and out of town just to go to school. Though I suspected that he then would argue for me to change schools.

But I didn't want that. I hadn't wanted it last year when the whole school had turned against me after Lilly's death and I sure as hell didn't want it now. I wasn't sure what to expect once I went back at Neptune High but it couldn't be that bad. I now had Wallace, Mac, Meg, hell, even Weevil there to help me get through it. And Logan. Logan would be there for me as well and, knowing how the 09er dynamics worked, I guess that would bring most of the 09ers to shut up. He was Logan Echolls after all, uncrowned king of the 09ers and the one who initially had declared war on me a year ago. They were going to follow his lead, like they mostly did. After homecoming and Lilly's memorial service, Logan had stopped to be such a jackass towards me, barely saying anything to or about me anymore. It wasn't an officially truce, but it was close enough that things between me and the 09ers had cooled down considerably. Some still wouldn't stop and no one came forward to offer his friendship again, but the rumors and pranks had lessened. In the short time we had been at school after Christmas, it had even stopped altogether and I was pretty sure that Logan was behind that. Things definitely promised to be interesting, once I'd go back to school. So no, I definitely didn't want to change school.

There was a sharp knock and then Logan came in. "You've got a visitor," he told me sarcastically just as Wallace appeared behind him to shovel his way past Logan into the guestroom I was now staying in.

"Hey you, Superfly," he greeted me gently, totally ignoring Logan and making it more than clear that he wanted Logan to disappear.

Rolling his eyes, Logan winked at me and turned to leave.

I stopped him though. "Logan?" When he looked back at me, I nodded to Back-Up. "Can you take him with you? He's kinda itchy and could need some exercises."

Logan looked from me to the lazy form of my dog lying beside my bed, all fours stretched out from him, and back at me with a raised eyebrow. He didn't say anything though and just shrugged, letting out a small whistle. In a flash, Back-Up was up and over at Logan, jumping up around him excitedly as they both walked out the door, Logan closing the door behind them softly.

Smiling after them, I turned to Wallace who had watched the little scene with a frown. Thing is that I told Wallace very early in our friendship that Back-Up only liked few people and loved even fewer and that I trusted his instincts implicitly. They don't say a dog's instincts are far better than a human's without a reason. So far, he hadn't failed me. Back-Up had liked Lilly, Mac, Meg and Wallace. Duncan had needed some time until the dog had warmed up to him, but in the end they got along as well. My Mom too had gotten along with him well, though he had never showed the same devotion to her as he had to me and Dad.

Back-Up had loved my father and of course he loves me. The only other person he ever has loved is Logan. It had gotten clear right from the beginning when an over-enthusiastic little pit-bull puppy hadn't stopped jumping up Logan's legs and wouldn't stop yelping until a laughing Logan would swoop him up into his arms or, later, give in and patiently throw away whatever Back-Up brought him until either his arm or my dog had worn out. Later, when Back-Up had grown too big to be swooped up anymore, Logan usually landed with his back on the floor when Back-Up greeted him and they usually had needed at least three minutes with each other. We never stopped to tease Logan mercilessly about him and Back-Up, but secretly, I always loved watching them together. Somehow, when he was together with Back-Up, especially if he thought no one was watching them, he was different. More relaxed, more open, every guard down and his smiles and laughs always were real, true and happy like they almost never were, not even when he was with Lilly. I never had a doubt that Logan loved my dog as fiercely as Back-Up loved him. Sometimes I wondered why he never had gotten himself a dog of his own when he loved and cherished them that obviously and I've been close to go get him a puppy for his next birthday, but in the end, I had restrained myself. After all, what did I know? Perhaps Lynn or Aaron hadn't allowed him to have a pet. I still wonder, now that I see that they don't seem to have a problem with Back-Up staying here, none of them being allergic either. Then again, perhaps Trina had something against dogs or was allergic and that was why Logan never got his own dog. According to Logan, his big half sister was currently in Australia, trying to get there a little success for her non existent acting career.

Anyway, what I was trying to do now was showing Wallace just how much Back-Up loved Logan, how he listened to him while he wouldn't listen to anyone but me and Dad. Forcing him to remember that I trusted my dog's judgment and rub in my dog's affection for Logan. That I in fact wasn't the only one who trusted Logan.

Wallace had come by every day and I was grateful for that. While I needed Logan, I also needed Wallace, this comfy peace he brought with him and that relaxed feeling you get when you're with your best friend. Most of the time, Wallace kept me informed about what happened at school and outside of the mansion, we talked randomly things, watched TV together, just hung out with each other. It was a welcome and much needed distraction from the harsh reality. And sometimes, we were just silent, and sometimes, he just let me cry. Yeah, I really needed him as well.

The only thing that would mar his visits was his continued mistrust of Logan and his intentions and frankly said, I was growing tired of that. So I hoped that him seeing Back-Up trusting Logan like he did just then would help ease that mistrust.

"Boy, I don't know how he does it, now he has even your dog fooled."

Apparently, my plan was failing miserably. I shook my head, showing my displeasure with his comment. "Will you just stop it Wallace? I'm not exactly a naïve girl, not anymore. I know what I'm doing."

"You're staying in Echolls' house, never going anywhere without clinging to that jerk, so forgive me if I don't see that quite as you do," Wallace replied, giving her a hard stare.

I really liked that Wallace usually spoke his mind, but sometimes, that really got annoying. "Wallace…"

"Let me guess: I don't know him the way you do," he interrupted me.

My face closed off. "You don't," I told him flatly. When he opened his mouth, undoubtedly to protest again, I held up my hand. "No. No, you just listen to me for a moment. Only few people ever got to know Logan, really knowing him, because while he likes attention and be the center of a group, he lets almost no one close, not even his family. Lilly knew him, Duncan knows him and I know him, probably better than the other ever knew him, simply because I now know both sides of Logan, the friend and the foe. Trust me, I know how vicious he can be and just what a jackass he sometimes is. No one knows that better than me, because so far, I've never known him go after someone like he had gone after me, with such a passion and loathing." Again Wallace opened his mouth and again I didn't let him speak. "And just _because_ I know him so well I know where he stands now and know I can trust him, believe him when he told me that he's here now and will stand with me from now on. Besides, his actions speak for him, don't you think so as well? I wouldn't have made it without him until now, Wallace, hell, I probably wouldn't have lasted even that first day when…" my voice left me there and I swallowed hard. Taking a deep breath I shook my head, looking hard at my best friend. "Look Wallace, I don't even expect you to like him, or understand all this. But I do ask you to trust me and Back-Up. And to stop harassing me and him, making all these nasty comments."

For a long while, Wallace was silent. Finally, he sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt again."

I nodded. "I know. And that's why I haven't said much until now and am not angry with you. But Logan isn't going anywhere, Wallace, and I really can't need my best friend to continue to be so against him. At least give him a chance, Wallace, please."

"You sure don't drive an easy bargain," he muttered, unhappily.

"No, I don't," I agreed.

More silence stretched out.

"Okay. But I'm only doing this for you. I can't trust him, not after everything I know he did to you, but I will try to be nice and let him have his chance to prove himself to be your friend again," he finally relented grudgingly. "But the minute he hurts you and I'm going to kick his ass."

Relieved, I smiled and nodded. "Fair enough. And feel free to do whatever you want with the rest of him after I'll be through with him."

"Deal," Wallace said with a grin and flopped down beside me.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. "Thanks," I whispered.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to Logan's hand soothingly stroking up and down my arm while his other arm had me pulled against him, his voice whispering in a soothing way as well. "Shh, it's only a dream, shhh, I'm here, shhh…" he murmured over and over.

I gasped and shuddered and stilled in his arms. Damn it! I hated having nightmares, but then I'm sure everyone hates them. But I hate them especially when they are like this had been one, only a looming shadow with me waking up with no memories about what I've dreamed but still feeling so fricking terrified, so fucking alone and everything and nothing hurts. I hate it. I prefer when I remember what I've dreamed so I can tell myself no, that's not real, that didn't happen, it's only a dream. But how am I supposed to do that when I only feel but don't remember? Logan's presence helps to chase it away, but still… I can't forget the feeling, no matter what, despite how reassuring Logan's arms are.

Every night since my father died I had those dreams, with exception of the first night and I suspect that that's only because that night Logan had probably given me something to sleep. A thought that I didn't like at all, first, because I didn't want to grow depended on any form of medication for me to sleep peacefully and second, because I really, really don't like being slipped anything, even if it's only a sleeping powder or whatever. Not after what had happened to me on Shelley's party. Then again, Logan didn't know about that, couldn't possibly know how much I hated and feared having my drink spiked with anything. I wasn't angry with him though, I know he just wanted to help me and I do admit that that deep sleep probably had been good for me.

On the other hand, my sleep was also more peaceful when Logan was there. Not that I didn't dream at all, but they weren't as frightening as when I fell asleep with him not close. After that first night that I've spent in Logan's room, Lynn had informed me the next evening that the maid had prepared one of the guestrooms for me, the one right beside Logan's. That had been okay and I've anticipated it. And I had thought nothing when I've lied down to sleep. But first, I couldn't fall asleep. Whenever I'd closed my eyes, I saw my dad's body again, my vision of how exactly it must have happened. At some point though I did fall asleep and the nightmares had been over me instantly. Terrible, terrible nightmares that woke me up with a silent scream on my lips. Next thing I knew, I was standing in Logan's door, trembling. He hadn't been asleep yet, thankfully, had taken one look at me and then had pulled back his covers. I hadn't hesitated a second. And soon, I was asleep again, getting at least a bit of restful sleep before a nightmare had crept back, though not as a terrifying one as the ones I had had before.

In a way it's strange. Before, Logan and I never had the habit to share a bed. Boyfriend of my best friend, remember? Best friend of my boyfriend, remember? But we had the habit of comforting each other, perhaps because as great as the Kane siblings were and as much as we loved them – they didn't understand when it got too depressing, somehow lacked the knowledge of it and therefore couldn't give comfort. Distraction, yeah. Comfort, no. But Logan and I had known, had sensed it right from the beginning in each other. We never talked about it – we just knew and were there and that was often enough. That Logan's parents aren't much present in his life, neglect him and his needs and wishes, is no secret. He likes to joke about it, acts like he prefers the freedom that this gives him, but sometimes, he can't pretend anymore and then he had come to me. And I also know that Lynn, as much as I like her, likes her pills and champagne a bit too much and too often and when that would get too much, he had come to me as well. Just like I've gone to him when my mother's addiction to vodka got too much for me, or whenever Dad had been on a dangerous job and we had to wait and it was making me crazy. We would crash on the couch together, beside the pool, on the beach, wherever, but sharing a bed? Never.

Yet, there hadn't gone by one night since then when we didn't share. The following night, I've fallen asleep while watching TV with Wallace. At some time, he had left, leaving me alone with Back-Up. And the dreams had come, this time actually causing me to wake up with a real scream. Thank God still not a very loud one, but loud enough for Logan to hear it next room and come crashing through the door with wide, worried eyes. Once reassured that the bogey man hadn't come to get me, he wordlessly had slipped into my bed and that was that. The following night, he had slipped into my room the moment his parents had gone to sleep.

It feels so natural now. Just being close to Logan with Back-Up slightly snoring at the foot of the bed. We didn't spoon or touch, just sleep side by side, and it felt good. Safe. The only time he did pull me into his arms is when I had a nightmare. But it also scares me. Because there was only one more night left that I'll spend in the Echolls' mansion and tomorrow, I'd have to move out, go to Sam's. What was I going to do then? Beaming still exists only in Star Trek, nor can I tele-transport Logan to me or me to Logan just because I can't sleep or have a nightmare.

With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and nodded, letting Logan know that I was okay now. Gently, he released me out of his hold and rolled away to sit up and stretch. "It's almost seven thirty," he said and yawned. "I should go back to my room and pretend I'm still dead asleep so Mom can roll her eyes when she fights a hard fight to wake me up in about half an hour," he added with a grin as he stood up.

I felt myself smiling, snuggling deeper into the covers now that the warmth of Logan's body was missing. "You're such a naughty boy."

"Why shouldn't I when I'm that good at it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I chuckled and shook my head, not bothering to comment that one. It was still early after all.

"Okay, see you at breakfast, Mars," he said and sauntered over to the door. When I said nothing, he looked back at me though, giving me a hard look. "Veronica," he warned.

With a sigh, I waved him away. "Yeah, yeah."

Apparently, I wasn't that convincing, as his look intensified. "You've got a long day ahead," he said quietly. "You need to eat."

"Oh, for God's sake!" I exclaimed exasperated and flipped over onto my stomach.

Logan flashed me a grin along with a last warning glance before he slipped out the door. After perhaps three minutes, I turned and sat up with a deep sigh. I looked down at Back-Up but he pretended to still be asleep, not even twitching with one of his closed eyelids. Shaking my head, I pushed back the covers and stood up to head for the shower. Logan was right. I _had_ a long day ahead of me.

Today, I was going to bury my father.

* * *

In church, I sat between Logan and Sam with Wallace in my back as I listened to the priest saying a few words and then Sam, Fausto and Cliff taking the stand to tell my father's life. I kept my head high though I avoided looking at the flowers covered coffin that held my father's body and bit my lips, hard, whenever I was close to dissolve into tears, desperate to not loose it in front of all these people. The only weakness I did allow myself was to clutch Logan's hand in a tight grip that must have turned almost painful at the times when my emotions threatened to take over me, but Logan never even flinched and just squeezed back.

The church was full, with people standing in the back, but that didn't surprise me. Despite having been run out of office, my dad had always been much liked and much respected and many people had secretly hoped that the board would see their mistake and bring him back. Things under Lamb weren't as good as they had been under my dad. The crime rate had augmented again and I've heard rumors that many little shops in the not so prestigious parts of Neptune were fighting a loosing war against mafia and gangs and Lamb did nothing. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he even profited from their situation.

Then of course the media was there as well. Dad's mysterious murder wasn't top news but it still were news, especially since an anonymous source had leaked that the family Echolls was very interested to see justice done in my dad's case, a man who had only recently saved Aaron's life. There was even talk about them setting out a reward for any usual information to help the case. And yes, Lamb had been spitting mad when that had gotten out. Or course, Lynn and Aaron were attending the funeral as well, it being Aaron's first official public appearance since the stabbing, with his loving and forgiving wife and son right beside him. So yeah, the media was there as well, though they were banned from being inside the church and later on as well from the graveyard. Dad was going to be cremated, but he had seen to it that he'd have one of those urn graves.

I watched as his coffin was lowered down to the tunes of a lonely, melancholic jazz trumpet and it was that moment, when he had vanished out of our sight to proceed to the oven that would burn down my father's body to a small pile of ash, that my resolve broke and with a low whimper, I turned to bury my head into Logan's neck so no one was going to see my tears. His arms slipped around me and he shifted so he had a better hold on me as well as that his body more or less shielded mine and my sobs grew heavier. I was lost in pain but I registered the sound of feet shuffling and low murmuring starting to erupt as the people filled out of the rows to leave the church. Most were going to go their ways now. Some of them, Dad's friends, would head over to where the reception would start in a bit over an hour. And a handful of people were going to be on the graveyard when my dad was going to be buried. Sam, Fausto, Cliff, Paul, Wallace, his Mom and Logan.

A throat cleared and, more composed now, I drew back to see some guy from the funeral hole standing in a side entrance, holding a silver urn in his hands. I swallowed and felt myself being turned away. "Come on," Logan said quietly and tugged at my hand to lead me away, towards a side entrance. Wallace appeared at my other side and silently slipped his arms around my shoulder, his mom trailing quietly behind us. Outside, two limousines waited. I had initially protested when Logan had arranged for them but I got to admit that I was grateful for them now and glad that Logan had ignored my protests. One for us and one for the four men escorting Dad ashes over to the graveyard. I had argued that one would be more than enough but Logan had remained stubborn and I could see now why. For the life of me I wouldn't have wanted to be in the same car as that urn.

The ride over was silent, as was the walk to Dad's last resting place. I had asked Sam to carry the urn and he had accepted with a simple nod and a clenched jaw. He was going in front of us with me, again flanked by Logan and Wallace, behind him and the rest following us. Once over at the grave, Sam handed the urn to the guy who was there to lower it into the ground. Thankfully, we didn't spend much time for that. The priest once again said a short prayer, the guy carefully lowered the urn into the small hole in the ground and over it was. Paul was the first to go to stand in front of it, looked down and silently said his goodbye before briskly walking away. Next was Cliff. Then Mrs Fennell and she even threw down a white rose she had brought with her, which touched me, even if it also surprised me a bit. I never had the impression that Wallace's mom liked me or my dad much, though Wallace had assured me that her opinion of us had ameliorated much after my dad had taken care of that psycho renter they had a few months back. Fausto followed after Mrs Fennel, taking a bit longer than the other three. With a look at me, Wallace went next, not resting for long in front of the hole. There was a moment of indecision as Sam looked at Logan. When Logan didn't move, he went to say his goodbyes, crouching down as he undoubtedly said what he wanted to say to Dad in his mind. Finally, he stood up, glanced back at me and Logan and then slowly walked away as well.

Looked like I couldn't avoid it any longer. I took a small step forward while Logan didn't move a bit. I doubted he would. After all, he wasn't here for my dad though he had respected him, but for me. And I was glad for that. Still. This, I needed to do on my own. So I stopped and turned to look back at Logan, pleadingly. He hesitated, but with a sigh, he walked past me. When he passed the hole, he gave it a short nod, before he walked away with long strides.

Alone now, I took a deep breath and stepped towards the hole, starring down. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. Say my goodbyes? To a pile of ashes? This wasn't my dad. This was just ashes in a silver container in a hole. My father's ashes, my father's urn, my father's grave. Closing my eyes, I slung my arms tightly around me and fought back my tears. I had said my goodbyes to my dad the day I've went to see him in the morgue, but still – this was it. And that finality was what made me want to cry. The last goodbye, the last place for that loving, good man that had been my dad.

A sob shook my body but I still didn't allow any tears to fall.

Suddenly, I felt a feather light kiss pressed onto the top of my head and familiar arms engulfing me while the scent I always associated with my dad, his cologne mixed with his very own scent, filled my nose.

"It's going to be all right, Honey," a ghostly voice whispered.

My eyes flew open. "Daddy?"

But no one was there. Of course. Still, my heart was beating fast and I couldn't help but feel that for a moment, Dad had been there, with me. Just like I sometimes could swear Lilly was still there. Hell, I sometimes almost believed I really saw her. And though it would make me crazy, I think, I hoped to God that it hadn't been just my imagination. Everything was easier to bear if I could make myself believe that Dad was still with me, on some level as well as Lilly.

Taking a shuddering breath, I looked down the hole again. I was finished here. So, without saying a word, I threw down my flower, a bright sunflower, and turned away, walked away from my father's grave.

* * *

I didn't go back to the main entrance though where the others were supposed to wait. No… my feet carried me across the graveyard to another grave of someone else I've loved and lost way too early.

Lilly's.

When I saw the tall, lean figure standing in front of it, I was not surprised. Silently, I joined him and he looked up at me, his eyes, unguarded, full with pain and loss, but also with concern. He said nothing and looked back down to the sleek, ivory white marble and so did I.

I had no idea how much time passed until I broke the silence. "I've never come back here."

"Neither have I," Logan responded quietly.

The last time I've been here on the graveyard had been for Lilly's funeral. It had also been the last day Logan and I had shared as friends, the last day we had turned to each other for comfort. The whole time we had been side by side, clutching each other's hands, holding onto each other tightly like holding onto a lifeline during a big, wild storm out in the ocean. It had been a storm, a storm of emotion of pain, loss, anger, rage, confusion.

Two days later, Dad had hauled Jake Kane in for interrogation on the murder of his own daughter and that had been pretty much the end of the friendship between me and Logan.

Until now.

"One death to rip us apart, one to bring us back together." Logan shook his head. "Man, we sure don't settle for anything less dramatic, huh?"

"No, I guess not," I agreed silently.

Logan looked at me. "What happened to us back then, Ronnie?"

We had already talked about this, apologized, but still, this wasn't the same question. I shrugged. "We had been devastated and dealt with it the only way we could. We were angry, righteous, confused, lost in our own pain and rage. I was shell-shocked and barely able to think about anything than Lilly and you needed an outlet for your fury, someone to blame." It was my turn to shake my head. "We made mistakes.

"And that excuses our behaviour and actions that followed?" Logan asked harshly, incredulous.

"No. But it explains a lot," I contradicted him softly.

"That we were stupid?"

This time, I simply nodded.

Angrily, Logan shook his head and looked away, his fingers fletching. Biting my lips, I looked back to the headstone, the golden letters on it. "For three months after her death, I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her, how she laid there by the pool, blood smearing her blond hair and her eyes staring lifelessly ahead." I sensed Logan's eyes on me. "Blaming me," I whispered. "If I had gone with her that day, if I would have insisted on her telling me her big secret, if I had invited her over to my house, if I had suggested to go to the cinema, if I had seen it coming so I could have protected her, if, if, if… Then maybe, she would still be alive."

There was a long silence before Logan finally responded. "I blamed you too," he said, and it hurt. Hurt a lot. But this was something we had yet to talk out, so I waited to see if there would follow an explanation. Luckily, it did. "I convinced myself that if you hadn't ratted me out to Lilly about that stupid kiss with however her name had been, then we wouldn't have broken up. Then, I would have been there and she wouldn't have been alone when Koontz came and killed her, I could have protected her." He swallowed and I looked up. That actually made sense. A lot of sense. It explained a lot about that unimaginable rage he had had towards me back then. I always had wondered about that.My supposedly betrayal couldn't have possibly enraged him that much after all. And now it was another if to add to my list.

His eyes were fixed on the headstone. "And then I blamed myself, because I knew she was playing me and I just had wanted it to stop and to turn the tables, just for once, so I kissed that girl that stupid evening because I _knew_ someone would go tell it Lilly and I wanted her to hurt like I was hurting when I knew that she had set me up, probably to go out and meet some other boy." Well… that too made sense. And looked like something Logan would have done, though usually he had always been very faithful to Lilly. Whereas Lilly… I sighed.

"And last but not least I blamed Lilly. For having been such a bitch those last few weeks. For not being able to love me as much as I loved her, not being as devoted to me like I've been to her." He searched my eyes. "Do you think Lilly will ever forgive me for that?"

Only now did I reach out and tentatively touched his hand, slipping mine into his and squeezed. "Lilly loved you Logan. That at least I know without any doubt in my mind. You know her. She would never have blamed you for getting her killed or being mad at her for playing you, leaving us. There is nothing to forgive."

He stared at me for a long time before his hand squeezed back, hard. "She wouldn't have blamed you either. There's nothing and no one to blame but the bastard that killed her," he reassured me in the same assuring, convinced voice as I had used a moment before to reassure him.

With a sigh I turned and stepped in front of him to lean my forehead against his chest. "I miss her so much," I whispered. "Even now."

His other hand grabbed my free one and held it tightly as I felt him rest his forehead onto the top of my head. "So do I. So much. But I've also missed you, Ronnie. You have no idea how much."

Taking a deep breath I raised my head and smiled up at him, weakly. "About as much as I missed you, Logan?"

His smile was as weak and as sincere as mine as he nodded. "About that, I guess. Though I bet I missed you more," he added, a grin starting to spread out on his face.

"Did not!" I gasped outraged, standing back.

"Did too," he retorted and actually, honest to God, stuck out his tongue towards me.

"So not," I immediately insisted and, actually, honest to God, stuck out my tongue at him.

Letting out a laugh, Logan slang an arm around me and pulled me away. "Come on Mars, your guests are waiting."

"Hmpf." But I let him pull me with him.

"Logan?" I asked after a few steps.

"Hmm?"

"Let's never let it get so far like that again, okay? I couldn't… let's just not," I pleaded him quietly.

He stopped and looked down at me, the laughter gone out of his eyes and face. Slowly, he reached out and touched my face. "We won't," he said, jaw set with determination. "Not like that. Never again," he promised, his eyes sincere and intent.

I nodded. "We won't," I vowed.

* * *

The funeral reception took place in my dad's favorite bar, Jim's. Yeah, yeah, I know, cop, bar, cliché pure. Still, he had one, had gone there several times per week and was buddy with Jim, the owner and bartender. Jim had offered the bar for the reception and I've been glad for it. Sure, the Echolls had assured me that they'd be more than happy to offer their place, but that would have just been wrong. The bar Dad had liked so much and in which he had drunken with his friends was much more fitting. This was Dad.

And the guests seemed to like it as well – well, as much as one can like a funeral reception. But they told stories about Dad and laughed and that was good. That was how Dad would have wanted it. Me… I shook hands, thanked for their condolences, listened to these people memories of my dad and sometimes I even found myself smiling as well. Most of the time I spent at a table with Logan, Wallace, Sam, Fausto, Cliff and Paul though and we were rather silent. After three hours, most of the guests went home and we helped Jim clear the mess up so he could open the bar for the evening. Then Fausto, Paul, Wallace and his mom said their goodbyes and the rest of us headed back to the Echolls' mansion.

The day wasn't over yet. My dad's will still needed to be read and I had asked Cliff to do it after the funeral. He hadn't wanted to, but I managed to convince him in the end that I just wanted to get it over with. The funeral, the will, everything, so that I'd have a clean break and could start to build up my new life, a life without my dad – or at least try to.

"Are you really sure you want to do this now? We can still do this sometime later, you know," Cliff asked, looking at me with a frown.

With a deep sigh, I shook my head. "Just start, Cliff, please. I want it over with," I said, allowing myself to sound as tired as I was. This day had been long and exhausting and I was just tired. I wanted to go upstairs and fall into bed and a hopefully not too disturbed sleep with Logan beside me. Just – crash down.

"All right," Cliff said resigned and pulled out a thin file and opened it. He looked around at the few people gathered around the table. Him at one end of the table, Sam opposite it and Logan and me to Sam's left. "It's not much anyway. Veronica, you're his only heir, so you will get all the money that he own, not that it's much. Along with his life insurance probably around fifty thousand dollars."

I nodded and swallowed.

The door bell rang, but we ignored it. The maid was probably going to get it, I guessed.

"Mars Investigations will go to Sam though. You will still get fourty percent of the profits but Sam's the one who's the boss now." He looked at Sam. "If you want it. If not, we're going to sell and you two get each half of whatever we will get out."

My eyes flew to Sam. This was a surprise. I hadn't even thought about what would happen to the office. Somehow I had always avoided thinking about it. But this solution seemed perfect for me. I wouldn't have to give up my job and after my Dad, Sam was the best cop I knew. He would be as great as a P.I., of that I was sure. But it would mean for him to give up his job. He wasn't happy under Lamb, I knew that, but was he unhappy enough there to be willing to quit a job he was doing for twenty years now?

Sam looked completely stunned by this news. What he was going to do now was not yet visible though, not even a hint. Biting my lip, I looked down. This was something Sam needed to decide for himself. I knew how much Dad missed being a cop and I knew that Dad had talked with Sam about it.

But God, I hoped he was going to take over the office. I liked working there, these cases and I sure earned more money with that than with babysitting or working as a waitress somewhere after school. Money I would need. Fifty thousand dollars sounded like a lot of money, but I knew better. It had to last me for the next one and a half year until I could graduate from High School. And college…

Well, it wasn't that much money, really.

Outside in the hall, voices rose and got louder, not enough to understand what was being said, but loud enough to be heard. Beside me, Logan looked towards the hall with a frown, but my hand held his firmly under the table and I tightened my grip now. Whatever was going on out there, I needed him right now. He squeezed back and stayed where he was. Good.

"Keith made a list with things he wanted different people to have, I have it here along with a copy for you, but this can wait some time," Cliff continued.

I nodded. Yeah… that could wait a little.

There was one question though I wanted to know. "What about Mom? They are still married, isn't she automatic an heir as well?"

Cliff shook his head. "Keith told me a couple of months back to make sure that she wouldn't get anything, even if she comes back tomorrow." He nodded to Sam. "He's your legal guardian, like I've already told you, and your mother won't be able to change that, we made sure of that."

Slowly, I nodded. I wasn't sure what to think of that. Did I want my mother to be so excluded from everything? Yeah, she left us, abandoned us. Was undoubtedly an alcoholic. But… there might have been a reason why she left, a very good reason. Of course, no one knew about the pictures I've found in a safe deposit box my mom had rented. Observation pictures of me, with a target drawn over my face. Courtesy to Clarence Weidman, head of security at Kane's Software, apparently working for none other than Celeste Kane.

The voices in the hall got louder again, so that this time, we could understand the words of an enraged man.

"No! I demand to talk to her now!"

Lower murmur again.

"I won't talk to you for any longer. Where is she?"

His frown deepening, Logan started to rise out of the chair. "I better see what is going on out there."

But at that moment, the man we had heard stormed around the corner and my stomach dropped down.

It was Jake Kane.

His appearance seemed to surprise everyone into a stunned silence. Logan was the first to recover. "Mr Kane. Uh, do you want to visit my dad? He's…"

"I'm not here to see your parents," Jake said and stepped closer, his hands clutching a large envelope to his chest. His eyes fell on me and coldness started to spread out from my stomach. "I'm here to see Veronica."

No.

His revelation seemed to stun the others even more. Again, Logan was the first to react. Glancing at me, he moved to stand a bit more in front of me. "I don't think that's a good idea right now. We're busy," he told Jake, his voice having cooled down.

Jake glanced around, his eyes resting on Cliff for a moment. "I assume you're reading Keith's will?" he asked, using his business voice. "Good. Then there's even more reason why I need to talk with Veronica for a moment."

No. No, no, no.

Sam stood up as well. "With all due respect, Mr Kane, but this is not the time to harass Veronica. She's already going through enough as it is. So please, leave now," he said calmly, but firmly.

Jake's eyes chilled. "That's where you are wrong, Mr…?"

"Hunter. Detective Hunter," Sam supplied coldly.

"This is exactly the time that I need to talk to Veronica, Mr Hunter," Jake continued.

"As her legal guardian, I say no," Sam simply told him. "So please, Mr Kane, leave now before I see to it myself that you leave."

Taking a deep breath, Jake held up the envelope. "That's why I'm here. You are not her legal guardian."

No, no, no!

"What?" Sam exclaimed, frowning.

Cliff frowned as well. "Mr Kane, I don't know what you are playing at, but I can assure you that Detective Hunter is very much Veronica's guardian, as per Keith Mars' wish."

Jake glanced at him and Sam before his eyes went to mine, full of hesitation, remorse – but also something else. Something I didn't want to see.

"Veronica," he said quietly.

I slowly shook my head. "No," I told him.

His face softened. "Veronica…"

"No!" I hissed and jumped up, my hands clutching the rim of the table. "No. You are _not_ my father."

Well, if I had thought that there had been a stunned silence before, I was wrong. _This_ now was the famous stunned silence where you could hear a needle fall onto a soft carpet.

The only one who didn't seem too surprised was Jake Kane. And somehow, that angered me even more.

"So you know," he said and nodded, smiling humorlessly. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I know," I said, barely controlled, "that you are not my father."

His eyes grew pitiful as he once again held up the envelope. "Not according to this paternity test. Keith raised you up, was your dad and I know that he has done a very good job at that. But biologically, you're _my_ daughter, Veronica."

"No…" I moaned. I hated to moan, but I couldn't help it. No, this wasn't happening. It _wasn't_.

"I'm sorry Veronica," Jake said quietly. "I wish this could have happened under different circumstances…"

"Yeah right," I snorted.

"But now that Keith is dead and Lianne…" his voice trailed off and that was better so, I thought with narrowed eyes. "Well… I couldn't… You're my daughter. My responsibility now."

"Like hell I am! You had my dad fired! You were the reason why we had to live in a place with only partly warm water running for over a year, why Mom left and now you have the audacity to come here, on the day of my father's _funera_l, and act all worried about my welfare? Bullshit!"

"Veronica…"

"I don't care what that test says. You. Are. Not. My. Father!" Tears burned in my eyes but I managed to hold them back. Not in front of him. "My father was and is and always will be Keith Mars and no one else and certainly not _you_!"

Jake shook his head. "I'm sorry you see it like that. Of course I know this is hard news for you and I can understand that you're angry, but the most important thing is you and your future now. If you like it or not, you are my daughter. Lianne had wanted Keith to be your father but I owed even back then that if you'll ever need me, I'll come through for you. This time has come now and I intend to do everything to take care of whatever you'll need from now on." He looked at Cliff and Sam. "The judge I've spoken with was very understanding and saw it just like me. Here are the papers that say that Veronica is to be released into my care. As her father, I'm her guardian from now on." His eyes went back to mine while he handed the envelope to Cliff. "I'm here to take you home, Veronica. So please, go get your things now."

I gaped at him in horror.

Oh no. No, no, no! No way! Never! Not in a million years!

"No," I said and shook my head again. "No. I won't go with you. Not now, not ever. _No_!"

Jake sighed. "I'm sorry Veronica, but this is not your choice. So please…"

Suddenly, I felt like suffocating. No. No, no, no… I needed to get out of there. Not stopping to shake my head, I backed away. "NO!" I yelled and before anyone could stop me, I turned on my heel and bailed out of there, out the door, into the night, just away.

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't!

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's note: Uff, done! I gotta say, this wasn't an easy chapter to write. I had to cover a time span of approximately a week and to write the depressing task to arrange the funeral of a loved one and then go through it while not letting it drop too much into a melodrama. I hope I managed that and you liked it – along with my little surprise at the end – if it was a surprise at all. Once again, thanks for the wonderful reviews!)_


	6. Change

**Chapter 6: Change**

To say that I was stupefied after Veronica's unbelievable first words to Jake Kane would be the understatement of the year. Of course, the year was still rather young, so that perhaps didn't give it credit after all. So let's try the understatement of the century. Yep, that was way much more like it.

One could also say that her declaring that she _wasn't_ Jake's daughter pretty much got my world to stand still with me frozen in it. Frozen doesn't seem word enough to describe the stupor I was in but it's the only word I can think of. Shell-shocked I stood there, some detached part of me still listening to Jake and Veronica argue, her desperately refusing to listen to Jake Kane telling her he was her father and I did nothing, even though a tiny part of me that wasn't detached roared with fury upon the nerve of that man to come here and distress her so much when it was clear that right now, she just couldn't take any more anymore. And it felt panic when Jake went all businesslike to declare that he somehow had gotten custody of her and was now here to take her away, away from me. At that point I started to struggle to come out of this frozenness, but it took Veronica, pale as a ghost, to bolt out of the room, the house for me to snap out of the stasis I've been catapulted into with this incredulous revelation.

Letting out a heartfelt curse that could never be enough to express what I was feeling at that moment, I moved to run after her. I've taken perhaps four big steps around the table when a hand at my chest stopped me. Startled, I looked down to see Jake's hand holding me back, his eyes hard and angry.

"I suggest you stay away from my daughter from now on. Don't think I don't know how you treated her ever since Lilly's death. You've ruined the life of one daughter of mine – I won't make the same mistake twice and let you ruin my other daughter's life as well," he told me in a low, flat voice.

For a moment, I could just stare at him before rage spread out from deep inside me like a wildfire. That hypocrite of an asshole! I'm the first to admit that I had been a jackass towards Veronica but I hadn't done everything I could to ruin her entire life like he had! Okay, Jake had gone after Keith and I understood that he had been angry with Veronica's dad, but he must have known that by doing so, he was also messing up Ronnie's life like I could never have done it. And he never, ever, had said anything against me dating Lilly. He hadn't been overjoyed but not against it either. Then again, Lilly never had been that important to her parents, never as much as Duncan at least. And _now_ he had the nerve to warn me off? From _Ronnie_? If he was so worried about her welfare so suddenly, then where had he been when Lamb had told her about Keith's death in the schoolyard, in front of everyone? Where had he been this past week when she struggled to keep it together, barely holding onto a thin string to not loose it? Where had he been earlier this day, when it had been time to pay the last respect to a man who maybe had made mistakes in his life before – but he none the less had undoubtedly been a good and well-loved man and apparently a wonderful father to his daughter? But no, only now, Jake had come and I'll bet my allowance that that was because before, the results of the paternity test hadn't been in yet.

So for a few seconds, for the first time in my life, I was tempted to punch the light out of a man that I've always looked upon as a sort of surrogate father. I knew he had many faults and was certainly not the best father ever, especially not to Lilly, but compared to my father, he was the father of the year. Then though I remembered that now was not the time for this. The only thing that counted right now was to find Ronnie. She needed me now, needed me to be there for her, not beating up Jake Kane. So all I did was giving him one icy death glare, before I pushed his hand away and broke into a run to dash after Veronica.

I had heard her storming out of the main door and I went through it as well, desperately looking around for a glimpse of my tiny blond pixie. There was no trace of her but I did hear some strangled sounds coming from around the house where the garage and parking lots were. In a flash, I was around the corner and sure enough, there she was, trying frantically to wring open the door to my X-Terra. At any other time I probably would have been annoyed with her for handling my car like that. I loved my car. But I couldn't, not this time. Quickly, I fingered for the keys in my pocket as I went over to her. Just when I reached her, I beeped it open and then swooped her tiny body up. She didn't struggle and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign. I just carried her around the car and hauled her into the passenger seat, not unlike a week before when I got her home from school after she had gotten the news. Then I went back around the car, got into the driver's seat and already I was driving down the drive-up.

Not that I had the slightest idea where to go, but it was obvious that Ronnie needed to get away and frankly said, I was more than happy to bring her as far away from Jake as I could. Once we were off my family's estate and driving through the darkening day, I glanced at her, trying to gauche the state she was in. She had her knees pulled up and her head buried deep in her arms, shaking. I couldn't hear any sobs but I just knew that she was crying.

All day, hell, all week I hadn't done nothing but admire her for the way she managed to keep herself together. She had been so strong all the time, going through the preparations for the funeral, talking me into go bugging the sheriff's office, just dealing with this incredible loss in her life. I doubted that I could have managed it so well if the roles had been reversed and it had been Mom dying. Actually, I was pretty sure that I'd still be in drunken stupor, having done nothing since getting the news but drink, drink and drink. But not Ronnie. Ronnie's a fighter, that much had gotten clear in the past year when, no matter what we did or said or put her through, she never broke, never backed down, not once since she had come to school one day, the pink and white as gone as her beautiful long hair and for the first time ever had insulted me right into my face.

Now though I could sense that her strength had finally worn out and now she was just drained and scared and desperate and _hurting_. I couldn't bear it. I just couldn't. See her like that, feeling her hurting so much.

I never had been able to stand watching people I loved hurting.

And I love her. That I knew with absolute certainty.

I've never been one of the guys to hide from feelings and emotions or go into denial about them. At least not for long. When I like someone, I know it. When I hate someone, I know it as well. And when I love someone, I know as well.

It had taken one and a half day of reconcilement with Ronnie for me to realize, with no less than a feather-light kiss onto my cheek, that somehow, through some sick joke of the universe, I've fallen in love with no one else than one Veronica Mars. Ex-second best friend, turned enemy, turned close friend again. Best friend of my dead ex-girlfriend. And even worse, the ex-girlfriend of my best friend, an ex I very well knew he was far from over with.

Was I surprised? Honestly? No. Not really. I know it's impossible, wrong… but I would be lying if I say I've never thought about her in a not so innocent way before. Hell, my first crush after moving to Neptune had been Veronica. The vision of her in her soccer uniform and cute little white socks, her pigtails flying around her, had played havoc on my teenaging hormones from the first second on but it had been that warm, inviting big smile of hers, coming right from that golden heart of hers, that really had done me in back then. She had been too innocent to notice my interest in her (actually it had taken years for her to notice her effect on boys) but she had offered me her unconditional friendship and I had known that that was more worth than a crush. A while later Lilly had started to grow, if you know what I mean and that was that. Still, Ronnie and I stayed close and I was never oblivious to her beauty – it was just that I had Lilly and she had Duncan, my best friend, who obviously was in love with her and frankly said, over the years, my Ronnie had grown demure and always stayed so fucking innocent. That wasn't what I lusted after then. Ironically it took me making her life a living hell for her to come out of that shell and become a girl I would be head over heals in love with if I hadn't hated her so much.

Problem was that the hate factor was now gone, leaving me with no excuse anymore to not acknowledge my attraction to her. And sharing a bed with her, being able to hold her in my arms as many times as I had this past week, more than ever in our four years long friendship, didn't help to ignore my fast growing feelings for her either. Not to mention that it explained a lot of things I had been a bit confused about. Like my increased protectiveness of her. Or why I hated so much to watch guys like Weevil or that doofus of a cop so obviously hitting on her – and why I felt this big jealousy when she was extra nice to those idiots.

To know it is one thing. To accept it another thing altogether though. I wasn't sure what to do with my revelation. Of course I knew that no matter what, I'd have to wait to do anything about it. She needed a friend now, not another complication. But what should I do once she was done grieving, starting to live again? Go after her? Did I really want to risk that new found friendship between Ronnie and me? Remembering the moments we shared in front of Lilly's grave a few hours before, I knew I didn't want that. Besides, I knew she had forgiven me but it's still a long stretch between forgiving an old, close friend for a big, heavy mistake and give him another chance for that friendship or to start date ypur ex-archenemy that also happens to be so definitely off limits because of so many reasons.

Still… my instinct told me that it wasn't hopeless, that maybe, she wasn't quite indifferent towards me as well.

No… I wasn't really seriously thinking about not acting on my feelings, someday. And my last hesitation to follow through with those feelings for her pretty much became non-existent when I heard her defending me once again to Wallace. Most of the time, I've respected her privacy but when she had asked me to take Back-Up with me I had known that she had something in her mind. Curious and shameless as I am I had gone into my room. When Mom had told me that she'd see to it that Veronica would get one of the guest rooms I had known that it was fruitless to protest. Instead, I had convinced her to give her the room next to mine. First, because I wanted to be close to her and second, because thanks to the shared air vent with my room I'd be able to hear her if necessary. So I listened in on what she had to say to Wallace.

Of course I know better than to ever let her know that I've eavesdropped on her conversation with Wallace, but I did hear her words, taking my side against her best friend and I knew then that I couldn't _not_ take the chance with her. If there was even the tiniest chance that this amazing girl would have me, then I had to take it. Or I could never forgive myself.

I was still determined to not give her even an hint about my very not friend-like intentions about her but it still hurt like hell to see her like that, so heartbroken.

Not to mention that I had more than just a bit trouble to grasp what had been revealed just moments ago.

Ronnie. Jake's _daughter_? How could that even be? It was just ridiculous to even entertain that idea, let alone believe it. But… Jake had said that he had a paternity test to prove it. And Ronnie… it obviously hadn't been a surprise to her. A shock – but not a surprise.

So could it really be true? Was Veronica Mars indeed Jake Kane's biologically daughter? The girl we 09ers had tormented for a year because her Dad had gone after Jake Kane for the murder of his daughter was actually Jake's daughter as well?

Lilly's _sister_?

It just was impossible. So not something to actually happen in real life.

And yet, though I didn't want to, I couldn't help but believe it. It would explain so much. Lilly and Veronica's similarity that had always caused us to joke about them being sisters. Actually, why Lilly had never even looked at another girl for BFF-status again, despite them being such an unlikely pair. Sexy, cocky, fun-loving Lilly Kane and shy, innocent, wise Veronica Mars. The 09ers had never understood how such an unimportant girl had managed to be best friends with the most popular girl of Neptune. Even I had wondered sometimes and I know just what an incredible good friend Ronnie is. It explained why a man like Keith Mars, though a good man but definitely not exactly an Adonis, got to have such a beautiful daughter like Ronnie. They had been close, had gotten along well and I know there's a lot she has picked up from him – but I've never seen a similarity between them. I couldn't help but notice now that there were a few similarities to Jake Kane though. Like her eyes. The same green gray.

She had her father's eyes.

Oh God.

Ronnie was really Jake's daughter. Lilly's sister. And…

I nearly swerved off the road.

Heaven to hell!

That made her _Duncan's half-sister_! Sister! That meant Duncan had dated his own sister! That Ronnie had dated her own brother!

As that realization slowly seeped in, I suddenly knew I had to stop driving or I wouldn't be able to guarantee for anything and pulled into the next best parking lot. I felt like throwing up. Not because the thought of two siblings dating revolted me. Well, at least not in this case. After all, they had no idea about their relation to each other, of that I was absolutely sure. But I felt revolted because the Kanes and Mars', or at least Lianne, had let it happen. What had they been thinking to allow those two to date! Hadn't they any idea what that would do to them, if it ever got out? It wasn't after all as if their relationship had been a surprise to anyone. To anyone but them it had been obvious that they had feelings for each other. If either of them had meant anything to their parents, then they would have told them about the possibility of Jake being Ronnie's dad right from the beginning.

Or had Lianne never told Jake that he may be Ronnie's real father?

No. Jake had mentioned that he had known right from the beginning. That _bastard_!

Suddenly, I flashed back to the time when I had been over at the Kane's house and heard screaming from the next room. When I had gone to see what was going on I've found Duncan, his face a mask of fury, strangling Jake. After I've pulled him off he had gone limp and Jake had shooed me away, acting like nothing had happened at all. And so had Duncan when I had tried to talk to him about it the next day. But two days after this episode, Duncan had walked by Veronica, acting as if she didn't exist, was nothing but air. He hadn't warned me but back then, I still had been angry with her for ratting me out to Lilly for that stupid kiss with some stupid girl at my party where Lilly had ditched me just because she liked to string me along. So all I had done then was looking back and seeing that Veronica was totally confused by Duncan's behavior as well. But I've waited until we've been alone to ask him what that had all been about. He simply had said that it was over and had then refused to say anything more.

_You don't understand, Logan, you don't know… I can't… Fuck._

That's what Duncan had said when he had called to ask about Ronnie, a few days back, hadn't he?

No, I guess I hadn't understood. Never had. I always had wondered what had brought Duncan to break up with Ronnie when he obviously had still been so in love with her.

I guess I understand now though.

Finding out that the girl you love, your girlfriend, is actually your sister is for sure one very damn good reason to break up with her.

No wonder he had been in such an almost coma-like state back then. Or unwilling to talk about it. Still. I am his best friend. Why hadn't he ever confided in me? It wasn't as if I'd have gone housing around with this information. If anything, I can keep a secret. And Duncan knows that. Still, he hadn't trusted me with his secret and yeah, that hurt. Not so much though like it would have a year ago. Truth was that Duncan and I had drifted apart. We aren't what we used to be. Still more than I am with everyone else but Ronnie, now at least, but not the same anymore.

And I have a feeling that if I follow my heart and take my chance at a relationship with Veronica, then our friendship is going to go downhill even more. It actually was the last thing that even managed to hold me back from going after her anymore – or perhaps rather said made me still a bit hesitate to cross that line. Because I know myself. I'm going to cross that line sooner or later, no matter what.

I looked at the girl, a girl that ever since I was twelve has been a significant part or my life, both in the good and the bad sense. A girl for which I am willing to give my life, without even thinking twice and even more dangerous, for which I am willing to risk not only my heart but also my oldest and best friendship I have. I took in her small form, the pain I could feel radiating from her and remembered how it felt to hold her in my arms, to sleep beside her, wake up together with her and I knew right then and there that if anyone, she was worth to take all these risks.

Not now though. Now, she needed her friend Logan and no one else. Problem was… how could I help her dealing with this? Helping her through her father's death is one thing. Not that I knew exactly how she felt, but I remembered more than enough how I felt when Lilly had been ripped away from our lives. I just had imagined it to be a hundred times worse and I had an idea of what she was feeling and therefore what she needed thanks to my previous knowledge of her due to our friendship.

But with being confronted on the day of your dad's funeral that your dad wasn't really your dad?

What the hell do I know about that? Honestly, when a guy would come to me, and if it is the poorest bum I've ever met, and tells me that I'm actually not Aaron Echolls' son I would party like I've never partied in my life, going skywards with happiness. No such luck though. There was no way around me being Aaron's son. Otherwise, he would never have married Mom. Officially, I'm a love child. And yes, Dad and Mom had had a hot, steamy thing going on for quite a while. Then though Mom made the mistake to get pregnant. Dad's interest in Mom pretty much stopped after that, at least as long as I wasn't born. The first thing he had done after finding out about the pregnancy was demand for a paternity test. Of course everything being top secret. Only then did he propose to Mom, right after he had a vasectomy done. Like said, my father's pretty old-fashioned when it comes to women. You get a girl pregnant, you marry her. And divorce is not an option either.

Not that that stops him from nailing everything that's stupid enough to be blinded by my dad's big, charming smile. As the latest drama in the family Echolls proves more than obviously. There hardly goes by a day that another chick shows up and declares to have had sex with Dad, much to Dad's chagrin. And I… I'm just surprised it took this long for all his affairs to come to light actually.

So no, I had no idea what to say to her and believe me, me at a loss of words? That takes a lot. In the end, I just said one word. "Ronnie…"

She sniffled. "He is _not_ my father!"

And she sounded so lost, despite the anger in her voice, that my heart ached for her. Well, I may not have known what it feels like – but I knew what she wanted to hear. And perhaps, that would be enough. "No, he isn't," I agreed quietly.

She looked up at that. Not at me, but she looked up anyway and I took that as a progress. Seeing the tears on her cheek, I suppressed my impulse to reach out and wipe them away tenderly. She wasn't ready to be touched yet.

"He isn't," I repeated once again, my voice soft, but intent. "He never was and he never will be. It doesn't matter if he donated some DNA eighteen years ago or not. It doesn't matter what all the paternity tests in the world say. He wasn't the one who was there when you were born. That was Keith Mars. Keith Mars, who raised you up, was there for you your entire life. Keith, who taught you everything important, who looked out for you all the time, even now after his death. Keith, who chased away all the boys giving you a look that lasted too long and who threatened every boy daring or stupid enough to still wanting to date you." I smiled and shook my head, before growing serious again. "Jake can never be that man, that father. He hadn't even been for Lilly and he'll never be it for you. What his actions tonight show more than enough," I said, feeling part of that anger towards him again.

Ronnie said nothing for a long time. She just kept staring ahead. Finally though, she wiped away her last tears with the back of her hand and nodded, firmly. "Yeah. Yeah. You're right," she said, sounding more like herself again. Thank God.

Then, she opened the door and climbed out of the truck. Momentarily stunned, I watched her heading for the beach in front of us.

When I drove through the streets, I had had no idea where I was going. I had paid attention to the road, I mean, I was driving after all – but I didn't pay attention to where I was driving to. Somehow I wasn't surprised to have landed at the beach. I love the beach. It's the place I go to when I want to get away from my home, my life. It has something calming, to sit in the stand and watch the waves coming in and ebbing away again. Or to go sink into the water, drowning everything out. The beach is my escape, my save place. It had been back in LA and it still is here in Neptune. Plus, most of the few happy memories I do have and cherish have happened at some beach or another. Like my mom taking me to Catalina on my sixth birthday, just the two of us, mulling around the beach the whole day. Like when I was eight and Duncan and I had sworn a blood oath to always be best friends. Like Ronnie and me ending up in a contest of who could build the bigger and more beautiful sand burg when we were twelve and after no less that five hours we ended up being at a draw as the jury (Lilly and Duncan who seriously doubted the state of our mind by the way) deemed that while my burg was bigger, Ronnie's definitely was rather a castle than a burg. Like the first walk we had done together with a tiny little pit-bull puppy that was as cute as hell and sincerely had wrapped me around his little paw from the first moment I've laid my eyes upon him storming towards me and starting to yelp and jump up my legs until I swooped him up into my arms. Like Lilly leading me away from a party and introducing me to the wonderful world of sex when I was barely fifteen. Like that last careless night we've shared all together, homecoming two years ago, a little over a month before Lilly had been killed.

Finally recovering from my surprise, I quickly jumped out of the car as well. I went to the back to retrieve the blanket I keep there, along with a spare sweater, and, beeping the car locked, hurried after Ronnie. I had the feeling that Ronnie wasn't feeling like going home anytime soon and while I don't get cold easily, I remember well enough that her tiny body doesn't take long to start to shiver. Thanks to my long legs it didn't take long for me to catch up with her, falling into a silent stride beside her. We walked for a while, well, she walked, I just followed her. It had grown dark in the meantime and though the beach wasn't deserted yet, there weren't that many people around anymore either. Not that I minded. Quite the contrary.

At some point she did stop though, too far away for me to still see my car – my big shiny _yellow_ car, may I remind you, and was about to plop down into the sand when I stopped her with a brief touch of her arm before spreading out the blanket. The first thing she did after sitting down on it was kicking off her shoes and socks and burying her feet into the sand. I followed her example, careful to not brush against her, and before I knew it we were sitting on the beach, side by side, like we haven't done it in years.

"Never knew you went to the boy scouts," were her first words after a long, but comfortable silence.

I glanced at her, an eyebrow raised. She ran her fingers across the blanket and understanding, I grinned. "I didn't. But their motto to always be prepared – well, that's something I can identify with," I told her with a leer.

"I bet," Ronnie smirked back and drew her knees closer to her, a shiver going through her body.

The spare sweater was beside me, but it looked like we were going to stay here for a while and I knew it still would get colder, once the night had chased away the last warmth of the sun from the day so I waited to give it to her.

Once again we fell into silence, listening at and watching the waves roll ashore. Like said, it had something peaceful and relaxing and after a while I felt safe to approach what had happened earlier again. "What are you going to do now?"

She sighed heavily and shook her head. "I don't know." She drew her knees even closer to her chest. "But I can't go live in that house, Logan, I just can't. I can't live under the same roof as Celeste and Jake, after everything they've done to ruin my family. I can't go life in the same house where Lilly was killed. And…" Her head fell forward to rest on her knees. "And Duncan… he will be there," she whispered, sounding miserable.

Yeah, that he would, I thought, looking out onto the ocean. And that was one of the reasons I didn't want her staying over at the Kanes either. Even if he was her brother. Because he was her brother. It would just hurt them both too much. "Does he know?" I asked gently. Well, I was pretty sure I had the answer for that already, but it would still be nice to hear what she thought – or knew. She hadn't been surprised about the news of Jake being her father after all. Somehow, she must have learned it and the most logic thing would be for Duncan to have finally caved in and confessed it to her.

But she let out a snort. "From the way he dumped me I guess they must have told him just why he shouldn't be seeing me anymore after all," she answered bitterly. "They probably saw that we were about to take the next step in our relationship and the threat of that scandal apparently was big enough finally to be so kind enough to inform him of the tiny little fact that we're probably siblings."

Okay, so not going there. I knew she and Duncan had history. And I actually knew that Duncan had indeed shortly been before loosing his virginity to a certain tiny blond virgin – that was if Veronica would have let him, something I hadn't been so sure about back then – and if Keith didn't find out about certain very naughty thoughts of the boyfriend of his daughter, or some certain arrangements said boyfriend had had made. Duncan showing up in my room one memorable afternoon and, beet red, asking me for condoms and advice on how to – well, you know – pretty much told me as much. In fact, it had been planned for the night of homecoming, part of the reason why we arranged for the limo-party. Duncan hadn't lied back then when he had told his parents that it had been his idea. The plan would have been for them to have the opportunity to sneak away and well, get it over with. Of course he had chickened out. Or Ronnie hadn't wanted to, I've never learned what had happened between them after Duncan had led Veronica away for a while. The next try was supposed to happen the weekend of the week they've broken up, in a nice, romantic hotel room filled with candles, reservations under a pseudonym of course. I've helped to make the arrangements.

But then he had broken up with her and that was that. Oh, I happen to know that Duncan had gone to the hotel, minus the candles, and actually had lost his virginity that night – just not with Veronica.

And God, was I glad for that now. Not just because I was now falling for Ronnie myself but mostly, because as both their friends I knew just how much worse this must be for them now if they actually had ever slept together with each other and Heaven knew it was bad enough already. And once word about Ronnie being Jake's daughter came out… it was going to be a lot worse.

I frowned. "So he never talked to you about it?"

I've gotten that much right after their break-up, with Veronica even coming to me to see if I knew why my best friend had dumped his girlfriend, apparently without reason. But lately, her and Duncan had started to talk with each other again, not much, but she sure as hell wasn't air to him anymore. Somehow I had assumed that that meant that they had talked about it at least once. Apparently, I had been wrong.

She laughed sarcastically. "No, never. Can't blame him though. I guess there's no handbook for dummies that tells you how to break up with your girlfriend because you found out she's your sister." She made a pause and when she talked again, her voice was full of hurt. "But still, why like that Logan? Why couldn't he at least give me some bogus lame excuse of him having fallen for someone else or simply not loving me anymore, anything? Would that have been really that hard for him to do? Instead of just pretending I, _we_ never existed?"

I had no answer for her but secretly? I could only agree and silently cursed Duncan for having acted like he had. Despite him being my best friend.

"But who am I kidding? Duncan never liked confrontations, not with his parents, not with Lilly, not with you, not with me, not with anyone. He always had gone out of his way to avoid them and this? Boy, this would have become the mother of all confrontations," Ronnie said after another moment and surprised, I looked at her.

Even now, with everything that had happened between Duncan and Veronica, I've never heard her say anything that actually wasn't rose-rimmed and indeed was dead right about Duncan, even if it described one of Duncan's faults.

As part of me felt way too much satisfaction at that I hurriedly changed the topic. "But Jake declaring to be your biological father didn't seem to take you by surprise," I guided her gently into the direction I wanted to talk about as well.

Sighing, she shook her head. "No."

I waited. And then I waited some more. When she still didn't elaborate, I restored to whining. "Ronnie, come on!" I said, my most patented pout in place.

She glanced at me and my heart lifted at the amused smile she gave me. "You're so pathetic, you know that?"

I pointed to my heart. "Here. You're supposed to wound me here," I told her overly helpful and then spread out my arms.

When she chuckled, it was music to my ears. "Really, really pathetic."

"See, that's closer," I told her with a patronizing smile, taking down my arms. Then I grew serious. "Ronnie?"

Her smile dying, she turned her gaze away from to stare out onto the sea. "A while back I had to help some obnoxious lady to organize a class meeting. Of the seniors of the year my mom had graduated. It was then that I found out that Mom and Jake had been a couple in high school. And not just a couple. _The_ couple. Everyone had thought that they'd end up marrying and having the happily ever after. Well, we know how that turned out. But that was the first time I got this – feeling." She smiled ruefully. "A while before that I've caught Jake meeting my mom in the Camelot. Back then I refused to believe the obvious. It was my mom and Jake after all. Them having an affair was simply ridiculous. But… after working for a year at my Dad's office I know recognize the pattern, even from before everything had happened. And while I knew she's an alcoholic I honestly never believed that she'd cheat on Dad. Didn't want to see it."

"That's only normal I think," I said gently.

She shrugged. "Maybe. Anyway, at the same time I found out about Mom and Jake's past that thing happened with the couple living above us. She was pregnant, you know, and one day, she simply bolted. I've heard them fighting a lot and the night before her disappearance, I've heard this sound, like something heavy crashing down and then it was silent up there. I was pretty sure that the guy had done something to her and worried, I started to snoop around. When her parents showed up I convinced them to hire my dad and during the investigation we found out that André actually wasn't the father of Sarah's baby. It turned out to be the product of her stepfather raping her." She slung her arms closer around her. "But Dad said something then that made that feeling worse. He said something about how admirable it was that André was willing to be the baby's father, knowing full well that it wasn't his."

When she fell silent, I said nothing, sensing that she wasn't finished yet. "Of course I still refused to acknowledge that feeling. Didn't manage to do that for long though. When Koontz laughed right into my face, telling me that he saw Mom visiting Jake during lunch hours and then asked me if I really thought I'd be my dad's daughter, I more or less didn't have a chance to ignore that nagging feeling anymore." She shuddered and drew her arms closer around her if that was even possible at all. "'Look in a mirror', he said. 'Are you the product of a schluppy sheriff or the king and queen of the prom?', his eyes gleaming maniacally all the time." She breathed deeply, ragged.

Me, I was staring at her, shell-shocked. Koontz? _Koontz_? Abel Koontz? Lilly's _kille_r? What the hell...?

"I was so angry then. I don't know how Koontz had been able to know all that, probably thanks to the Kanes, but still, coupled with everything else, I just couldn't _not_ believe it anymore. I was on the war path, ready to sue Jake for everything that he owed me. So I had a paternity test done between my dad and me as well. But… by the time I got the results, I've cooled down. And I had realized that no money on Earth was worth for me denying that Dad's my dad. I never looked at the results. Instead, I shredded them and continued to life with that little doubt that Jake could be my biological father. That I've dated my own brother for almost a year." She let her head fall back to stare up at the stars, her hand coming up to finger with her star necklace. "Or perhaps, I just had been too chicken to face the truth, I don't know. But no, the only thing that did surprise me today was that Jake actually is willing to risk his precious reputation by admitting that he isn't quite as perfect as everyone thinks he is when word of this gets out."

Normally, I probably would have assured her that she definitely was anything else than a coward, but right now, I was still too busy processing that Ronnie had talked to Koontz. How the hell did she come to even have seen that motherfucking asshole anyway?

"Koontz?" I finally managed to struggle out.

"Hmm?"

"_Koontz_?" I repeated, barely able to hold in my fury anymore. And my fear. I wanted Koontz dead, something that was thankfully going to happen soon, but certainly not anywhere near Ronnie.

Apparently finally having caught up with what I was asking, she looked down, biting her lip. "I went to see him."

_She went to see him? _

"_What?_" I exclaimed, incredulous. She had what?

She didn't meet my eyes. "Yeah. I wanted to talk to him. Ask him why he was confessing for a murder he hadn't committed."

And there it was. Lilly's murder and Veronica's still existing allusions that Koontz hadn't actually killed Lilly, despite all the evidence pointing at him, despite his confession. The one topic that was taboo between us. Because if it wasn't, then I would getting angry with her again and then I would start fighting with her and that was the least I wanted to do. Not just because of her dad's death but also because I didn't want to risk our newfound friendship – and whatever else was going on between us. Or might, someday.

So whenever she had mentioned anything into that direction, I methodically overheard her. Like back when we had gone to go bug the sheriff's department. Like only this morning, in front of Lilly's grave. I actually knew she wasn't slipping these remarks on purpose, for that they were coming too casual, said too much as a matter of fact. It was because of that that I held in my anger for her ridiculous obsession and just would fist my hands and completely ignore what she had said.

But I couldn't do that anymore.

"What the fuck were you thinking, going to see that bastard?" I demanded to know and yeah, I was angry as hell.

She immediately caught up with it, as her face closed off, even when her eyes stared at me pleadingly. "Abel Koontz didn't kill her, Logan. I need to find out who did. And why the Kane's were ready to cover up the truth like they did."

Unable to sit still anymore, I jumped up to start to pace in front of her, trying to not loose it any more than I already had.

Easier said than done.

I shook my head. "God, Ronnie, what will it take for you to stop obsessing about that? He confessed Ronnie. _Confessed_!"

She looked down and suddenly, she looked so damn tiny small again that I cursed out loudly. Damn her for looking so vulnerable when I was that mad at her!

"Oh Logan, don't you think I want it to be Koontz as well? Such a despicable man and he really is awful, believe me. It would be so easy to blame it on him, not having to worry who else could have killed Lilly and not wonder who could betray her like that, if it even was someone of her own family, someone that was supposed to love her," she said, her head still raised and I could see her whole body shivering like mad.

"God Ronnie, do you even listen to yourself? How can you even _think _that…" But at that moment she looked up at me, her eyes swimming with tears and still so fucking pleading that my voice just trailed away as my throat closed off.

"I can't. But I have to. It's Lilly, Logan. The girl I loved all my life like a sister. The girl that apparently actually is my sister. I know, Logan, I _know_ that her killer's still out there. I can't rest until the real killer has been found. Can't stop until I know that justice has been served, that she will get avenged, that the real asshole is going to pay dearly and slowly for taking her away from us." Again she trembled, and her eyes were still pleading but now, pure hatred and determination were in them as well. "Could you live with the knowledge that her killer's still at loose? Could you bear the thought that her death will go un-avenged?"

"Of course not!" I snapped, irritably. "But her killer _has_ been found, Veronica. Will actually soon pay for what he had done to Lilly with no less than his life."

Frustration and resignation now joined the turmoil in her eyes, her face, as well. "No, Logan, he hasn't and he won't. Instead, he will get away with it because no one is fucking ready to listen! But it doesn't change the truth, if you want it or not. Did you know that Lilly was alive two hours after her supposedly death and nothing else than a speeding ticket of the county department proves that? Leaving all of the Kanes without an alibi? Did you know that the crime scene photos prove that the purposely evidence, her shoes that had been found on Koontz's houseboat, were actually in her room the night of her murder? Do you really think that Koontz broke into the Kane mansion, a dead out fortress after Lilly's death, just to go steal a pair of silly shoes? Did you know that Clarence Weidman, head of security at Kane's Software himself took pictures of me, threatening pictures that he then sent to my mother in order to bring her to stop Dad with his investigations? The same man who anonymously gave the police the tip about Abel Koontz, using a scrambler? Why Logan? Why would Jake Kane's man for dirty businesses, ex-CIA none the less, give an anonymous tip instead of just going to haul in the bastard himself? Why would the Kanes lie about the time of Lilly's death? Why would they pay Abel Koontz for confessing a murder of a girl he never has seen in his entire life? Their daughter? Why Logan? _Why_!"

I stared at her, her words slowly seeping in. "What?" I asked weakly.

What had she just all said? My thoughts were tumbling over in my head as I tried to make sense of her words – or rather said, take away the sense of them. If all she had said was true… but no, it just wasn't possible. Koontz had killed Lilly. It had to have been Koontz. What Ronnie had said couldn't possible be true at all. But… I also knew Ronnie. She wouldn't say things like that if she couldn't prove it. Could she? I knew she wouldn't lie about something like that, but… she had to have gotten it wrong. All so very wrong.

"I still have the ticket and the recording of the anonymous call to prove what I just told you. If you really need it I guess I can try to get to copies of the crime scene pictures of both, Lilly's room the night of her murder and of Koontz's houseboat as well. That is, if I can't find tDad's file on the case," Veronica said tonelessly.

Oh, of course she could! My hands fisting, I turned away from her, just not able to look at her for a moment. I refused to believe what she said was true. I wasn't sure why. Perhaps because then it meant that I've put her through hell for a year for nothing. Perhaps because it would mean that the only home I had had away from home never had been what I thought it was, that the people I had respected, loved and partly envied weren't the people I thought they were.

"Logan?" I heard her whisper and though not wanting to, I looked back at her.

She was on her knees now, as if she actually begged me to be believe her but what did me in in the end was the fear I could see in her eyes, in her pale face.

Fear? Of what? She couldn't possibly be afraid of me, could she?

"Please," she added, sounding so desperate that my heart cringed and suddenly I had to think back to the vow we had taken only a few hours ago. The vow to never let it get that far between us again as it had after Lilly's death.

And then I knew why she was afraid. She wasn't afraid of me. But she was afraid that I once again would turn my back on her. Was afraid that what we had won back over the past week would be lost again because of this damn investigation. And perhaps, she even was afraid that I didn't believe her or at least would take her seriously.

Running my hands through my hair, I crouched down in front of her so we were on eye-level. And then I looked long and hard at her. When I was done, I knew two things. Whatever may be true, Veronica believed in what she had just told me. And the only reason why she just didn't let it be, despite it risking her so much, was that she couldn't. Because she did it for Lilly.

My problem now was that I didn't want to believe her. Couldn't. But I knew Ronnie. She didn't believe into anything without a good reason. So when she believed that firmly that Koontz hadn't killed Lilly – then it actually could be true, if I wanted that or not. And if there was a chance that she was right – then I needed to take that seriously. Because one, she was right, I couldn't stand even the possibility that Lilly's killer was still out there. And second, because I knew she wouldn't stop investigating in that case, just like she wasn't going to stop until we've found Keith's killer, regardless of my opinion or feelings about that matter and if she really was right, that meant that she'd go after yet another killer, someone who already took one girl I loved away from me. I couldn't let that happen again. I hadn't been able to protect Lilly, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to protect at least Veronica.

So I was going to look at all this evidence. And I was going to make her tell me everything, right from the beginning.

But first, I needed to know something else, something more important.

"Veronica, do you really, honest to God, believe that one of the Kanes could have done that to Lilly? Jake? Celeste? I know them and Lilly hadn't gotten along that well, but kill her?" I waited a beat. "_Duncan_?"

She held my eyes as an incredible sadness filled hers. "I don't know, Logan. I really don't know. They messed up Lilly's murder investigation and I can't see why they would do that if not trying to cover up something really ugly." She swallowed. "But honestly? No… I can't really believe that any of them did it, but… I just don't know anymore. I can't ignore the evidence and that one is pointing at them, as much as I may hate that."

Okay, so far so good. I guess I could live with that. Not that I really had a choice in that matter.

But then she continued, for the first time in a week sounding almost hysteric. "Look at me! Here I am, saying that I may believe one of the Kanes is a murder, a family I've known for years, have spent ages in their house and I think one of them may have been capable of murder! One of them my ex-boyfriend, my very first big love." She let out a laugh that turned into a sob. "A family that now turns out that one of them is my father and the other is my half-brother. And Jake wants to take me with him, to that house, the house that once had stood for joyful moments spent with my friends and that now only gives me the creeps at day and nightmares in the night." Her eyes met mine and this time, all I could see was desperateness and fear. "How am I supposed to trust them? How can I ever sleep in that house? It's hard enough as it is already, falling asleep, find any rest and now that I have to worry that I'm in the house of… of…" Her voice broke and next thing I knew, her head was buried against my chest as she tried to reign in her emotions again.

At that moment, my world spun out of axis, turned upside down, left to right and right to left and when the spinning stopped and my world readjusted itself, everything had changed. My loyalties, my priorities, my center.

It felt like an eternity but I guess it's only been a few seconds until my hands ran up Veronica's arms to then gently cradle her to me, one of my hands moving up to gingerly stroke over her hair and she pressed herself to me, held on to me and I didn't want it any other way.

Because as of a few moments ago, she was the center of this new world of mine, she was my first priority and hers was my loyalty.

Up until that moment, and as important as Ronnie had been for me once and had become again and even more during this past week, Duncan had still come first, the Kanes had been more important to me and there were a few other things that I think I may would have put before Ronnie. But not anymore. She comes first now, is first, is the most important thing. And everything and everyone else is secondary.

And while I still couldn't believe that the Kanes really could have killed Lilly, Ronnie was right that something was afoul there with Lilly's case – if she was right. But with everything changed, I inclined to believe her even over what I thought I knew. This meant that Ronnie probably was going to have to move into a house that proved to be totally unsafe for her.

Unacceptable.

In the meantime, Ronnie had gotten her emotions back in check and now drew back, sitting back onto her calves as she wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. A gesture she had to do way too often lately.

"You know, I didn't want to go live with Sam. Not so much because I minded living with him, he's okay, but because he lives out of town and… and I didn't want to be that far away from school, from you, from Wallace. But the Kanes? Hell, I'd rather prefer to go have to live at the other end of the world," she said, humorlessly. "But I won't have a choice, will I? It's Jake Kane after all, the richest and most influential man of Neptune. What he wants, he gets. Just look at how easily he got custody of me. He shouldn't have been able to override my dad's wishes like that, but who cares? He's Jake Kane." She laughed, but it still held no humor in it, only bitterness. "I of all people know after all just how powerful he is, just how ready people here in Neptune are to be at his beg and call and do whatever he wants. Go ruin a good man's reputation and life? Sure, why not, Jake sure has his reasons. That horrible man killed Lilly? But of course he did! Death for Abel Koontz! The hell with all the facts that prove that he couldn't have possibly done it. Jake Kane's marionette says he has done it, so sure, he must be guilty." Her shoulders sagged as she looked back at me. "I won't have a chance in hell."

Unfortunately, I had to agree with her. Jake would get what he wants. Powerful men like him always get what they want and no one is ready to believe that he may be guilty of anything more than perhaps a speeding ticket, if at all. I should know. Dad's exactly the same. No one is ready to believe that the great Aaron Echolls is nothing else than a monster. I've told Trina about his abuse and all she did was ridicule me. I told the staff in the hospitals, but Dad came in all his fake glory and innocence and sagely told them that I was a difficult child but then, with him being away so often he could only understand that I would do anything to draw Daddy's attention onto me. Not one of them ever filed a report. I told a teacher I made myself believe that he could help, that I could trust him – a week later he had moved to the other side of the country to go live in a big house, driving a new sports car and Dad beat me unconscious for the first time in my life. And last, I tried to tell a social worker I've met on one of Dad's promo tours. She at least had believed me for once but after she got attacked on the way home by a knife wielding masked man, she asked for a transfer that got granted promptly. And at each whip and at each blow that followed as punishment for that one Dad threatened me that the next time I pulled something like that and betrayed him like that, it would be Mom who'd receive the whips and blows. Today, I don't think he would have really had gone through with that. More likely he would have just killed me. But then I was barely nine and though I've never seen him raise his hand against Trina or Mom, I believed him. It was the last time I ever tried to get help.

And still knowing how it works so well, I too had believed Jake over Keith Mars, a man that had always been fair to me and who always had been, to my knowledge, a honest, good man and, contrary to my dad and even Jake, one hell of a father. I had bought the image of the grieving, desperate, poor rich man, his outrage at being accused of his only daughter's murder.

But not anymore. Not with Ronnie's life at stake. My eyes were open now and my view clear.

"Okay, here is what we are going to do," I told her, my eyes boring into hers, determined. "First thing tomorrow, you'll go talk with McCormick and see if there's anything you can do to fight against Jake's custody. Or I can set you up with another lawyer if you want, someone who's a specialist. But you're right, there's probably nothing that could be done and even if it is, it will take time, time I fear you'll have to spend living with the Kanes."

What I really wanted to do right then and there was get her back to the X-Terra and just drive, getting her far, far away from Neptune and all the threats lingering around here. Go to Mexico or drive all the way up to Canada. Or drive to the airport in LA and get onto the next flight out of country with her, to Europe, Australia, whatever. Just get her away. But I knew better. She wasn't one to run and she wouldn't leave until she knew who was responsible for Lilly and Keith's murders.

And frankly said, I wasn't a runner either.

That meant though that I needed to find a way to protect her. And I already had an idea how.

"If you really have to, you will spend as little time as possible on their estate. After school, you come home with me, or you go to Wallace or someone else, to the library, to the beach, or you go working, should Sam decide to continue with your dad's office, but you're not going anywhere alone, understood?" I asked, letting her know with one look that I didn't want to hear even the slightest protest. "When you _are_ at their house, you're going to spend as much time as you can locked into your room and you'll lock the bathroom as well when you go there. You will always have Back-Up with you, no matter if you're only going to go get some water, Back-Up will be right beside you. Plus, I'm going to hang out with you and Duncan like I've never hung out with you guys before and, night coming, I'm going to sneak in to come spend the night with you – or come take you home with me, whatever. This way, you should be remotely safe."

She stared at me as if I had just sprouted a second head. "Are you kidding?" she asked, incredulous.

The only answer I gave her was a long, hard look. It was enough.

"You're not," she said quietly, awe in her voice.

"No, I'm not," I confirmed and reached out to intertwine my hand with hers. I didn't like that she was so surprised at my determination to keep her save. Or, I guess, at her surprise that I actually was on her side on this. Then again, the past didn't speak exactly in my favor. Well, one goal of mine was to rectify the mistakes of the past. I wanted that it only felt natural to her when I did everything in order to protect her.

"But Logan, you can't do that! How do you want to sneak in each night without getting caught or your parents noticing that you're gone? You can't…" Veronica started to reason.

I interrupted her with a laugh. "Trust me Ronnie. If I know one thing, then how to sneak out of my house, not that my parents are likely to notice I'm gone anyway." The never had before and Heaven knew I've spent a lot of nights elsewhere. "And after years of being best friend with Duncan and Lilly's boyfriend I sure as hell know how to get in and out of the Kane mansion without anyone knowing it." I winked at her.

She smiled, and I guess she had no trouble believing that. Well, it was no secret that if anything, Lilly and I had at least a very good and healthy sex life. But then she frowned, shaking her head slowly. "Still Logan, I can't expect you…"

This time I shushed her with a finger on her lips as I leaned forward, letting her see my eyes and just how very, very serious I was about this. "Veronica. Stop. You're not going to change my mind, not in this. I'm going to do this exactly as I've told you, if you want it or not." My hand fell down and took her other hand into mine as well, squeezing hard. I needed her to see how very important this was to me. "While I simply can't believe that either of them had anything to do with Lilly's murder I do admit that you have point and something is amiss with Lilly's case. And I'm not going to take a chance here, not with you." I swallowed. "I'm not going to loose you too, you hear me?"

Ronnie stared at me with wide eyes. I guess I just stunned her into silence. Normally, I'd be proud about that. It's damn hard to render her speechless. Nowadays. But all I could do then was waiting anxiously for what she was going to say or do, see if she finally accepted that we were in this together because I needed her to be alive, safe.

I'm not sure what I expected. Most likely for her to roll her eyes and retort back to crack a joke like it's our way, but with understanding and consent beneath it all. Or to smile in that sweet and shy way she sometimes still did, a trace of the old Veronica.

In short, pretty much everything than what she did in the end.

She kissed me.

Not an innocent kiss onto my cheek like she had given me one almost a week ago.

Nor was it even a quick peck onto the lips.

No, I'm talking a real, mouth on mouth and tongue involved full fledged kiss.

_Oh holy mother of God.

* * *

_

Oh Jesus.

Oh boy.

Oh God.

What on _Earth_ am I doing?

Am I really kissing _Logan Echolls_ here?

On a deserted beach in a moonlit night none the less, going totally cliché?

On the day of my father's _funeral_? After my world pretty much crumbled apart for the second time in a week when Jake Kane came and even took away my knowledge that my dad was my real father, that he was and now wanted me to move in with his family and play house?

And am I really kissing _Logan Echolls_ for all its worth here?

One of my eldest friends? The boyfriend of my best friend and even worse, my half sister? The best friend of my ex-boyfriend and even worse, my half brother?

My _archenemy_?

My anchor in this long, long week since my dad died?

My newfound close friend again?

Yes. Yes I was and yes I did. I _was_ kissing Logan Echolls. And _I _did kiss _him_.

And _God_, it felt good. So very damn good. And I knew it would even feel better if he actually participated as well, something, he had yet to do.

But then, perhaps, he didn't respond because he didn't want to.

Oh God.

My eyes widening, I broke away from him, toppled back, ready to sink into Earth to never show up again.

_What _was I thinking?

"I… I… God Logan… I…" I stammered.

Okay, not improving my case here.

Hesitantly, I dared to look at him.

He hadn't moved one inch, his mouth still slightly open and his eyes stared at me, unfocused. Well, at least he didn't look mad. Not yet. No… he just looked – stunned out of his mind. Guess I couldn't blame him for that. It was a bit unexpected, that kiss.

But then… was it really? Was it really that unexpected?

Frankly said, I didn't think it was. Part of me had seen this coming ever since his arms had gathered me up and wouldn't let go anymore, back on the schoolyard after Lamb had come to give me the news about Dad. Perhaps not a part that I acknowledged, rather it had been in my sub consciousness. But it had been there and it got fueled with every time he'd taken my hand, brushed my cheek, held me together, soothed my nightmares, wordlessly slipped into my bed without even trying to take a peek, so very un-Logan like, every crooked smile my way and every time he looked at me in that way he had adopted over the last few day, like I was this precious, valuable, important thing to him.

And if I wanted to be totally honest, then perhaps, the root for this event did go all those years back to the day we first met. There was this boy I had to show around school, a boy that wasn't shy at all and didn't show any nervousness about the new school, like most new kids did, either. But when he had realized that I couldn't care less who his parents were, that actually I was anything else than an Aaron Echolls fan and that I wasn't going to ask him about his parents or for him to get me an autograph, that I in fact was just interested in getting to know _him_ better, trying to befriend him because somehow I felt drawn to this lanky boy with his limbs too big for him and his cool, arrogant attitude as if he was some kind of royalty no matter where he went, but still having a wonderful sense of sarcasm and being funny, only then he smiled at me, with wonder and surprise and suddenly, he actually had been shy.

That had been the only time I've ever seen Logan Echolls shy in my life but it had been that moment when I decided that I _was_ going to be friends with this boy and so had suggested to him to bail out of school and go to have an ice-cream together. It was that afternoon, in our ice-cream parlor, where we talked for hours and became friends, real friends. Only to find out the very next day that we were both already best friends with one of the Kane siblings, guaranteeing our continued involvement with each other even further.

But that shy smile had also done something deep down inside me, something I've never felt before, not even when Duncan had smiled at me in these days. A tug, a flutter, a twitch – I don't know. Something, that, as I knew immediately, had potential. In the afternoon though I realized that we were better off as friends, that that was what he needed most and I too had a feeling that a friendship with Logan Echolls could turn out to be very interesting. And the next day, when I've seen him check out Lilly, I had known that it was indeed the best for us to be friends and nothing else, a belief that strengthened with each further day of knowing him and learning just what a little, sneaky troublemaker he was, something I so was not. At least not back then. Him and me? Oil and water. Cat and dog. Heaven and hell. We were friends and confidents but nothing more and after that first day I honestly never thought about him in that way again.

Until a week ago. Until he stood there, going on and on about how I didn't show my gratitude for him in a proper way and he had looked so damn cute in his little jealousy of Weevil that I couldn't help but shut him up with a kiss onto his cheek. I hadn't meant anything with it but the moment my lips had touched his skin I've remembered. That jolt I had felt, all those years ago. My amusement when he had admitted in a truth or dare game that he had found me hot that day we've met as well and that had felt a been too warm, too flattering than it was supposed to be.

And with my memories coming back, I started to notice things. Subtle changes in the way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he acted around me. I know him, better than most do, and I've known him for years. I've gone with him through his first crushes, his first brief dating times and later, I've gone with him trough his first big love and relationship, Lilly. I recognized these changes, his looks, his touches, the way he acted towards me. And I recognized the jealousy he displayed, first with Weevil and then with Leo.

So really, when I've kissed him, I had been pretty sure that he wouldn't really mind.

Could I have really been that wrong?

Ugh, why had I even given in into this momentary craziness and had _kissed_ him?

It was just… you know, when he started to get angry at me because I was still investigating Lilly's case and didn't believe that Koontz killed her I really was scared that, despite our vows to not let our friendship go to hell like we had before, it was enough for him to turn his back onto me again anyway. So far we had had avoided the topic of Lilly altogether, at least her case. Whenever I did mention something into that direction, he either had ignored it or had changed topics. I was so relieved when he at least started to listen in the end and was willing to hear me out, entertain the possibility that I may be right. I didn't expect him though to make a complete one hundred and eighty on me and declare himself completely to be on my side. Even as my friend, he never had solely been on my side and I hadn't minded because it had been the same with me. As much as he had meant to me, my best friend and my boyfriend had come first.

But now here he was, going on and on about how he wanted me to behave while having to live at the Kanes, promising to not leave me alone with them and then he even went and said all those things. That he wasn't going to take a chance with me, meaning that he was willing to believe me over them. And that he wasn't going to loose me too.

_Too_.

And it had meant so much to me, even after us going back to a friendship for this last week. It meant so much to know that he was on my side, that I was still meaning so much to someone, even with my dad gone, that he was ready to go against everything he had ever believed in, for me, that I just… I just _had_ to show him how much that meant to me.

So I kissed him.

Seriously believing that he really wouldn't mind.

But, as he still looked as if he had been frozen in time by Piper Halliwell, I guess I had been wrong.

Shit.

"I… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have…" Damn. Looked like I wasn't over my rambling stage yet either. Looking away, I bit my lip. Then, sighing, I hesitantly looked back, shook my head and started to get up, desperate to get away from this embarrassment.

Logan blinked and his eyes focused on mine, narrowed with something I had no time to decipher as the next thing I knew, one of his hands went to the back of my head and the other slipped around my waist as he pulled me to him and then, his tongue was in my mouth and _he_ was kissing _me_.

Okay, I guess I hadn't been wrong after all, I thought last before all thoughts left me as my entire body went up in flames at what that tongue could do with my mouth.

_Oh holy mother of God!

* * *

_

Jesus H. Christ.

Was I dreaming or was _Veronica Mars_ actually indeed kissing me?

Not that I minded, not at all. I had dreamed of kissing her for a week and believe me, that's long for me. I'm an action kind of a guy, not one to pine after a girl for ages before I do something about it. The longest I've ever waited to kiss a girl after I've decided to kiss her had been three days. It had been Lilly and the only reason why I've waited so long had been because she was one year older than me and a lot more experienced than I and also because she was my best friend's sister and you don't go after your best friend's sister if you aren't absolutely sure that she is what you really want.

Still, here I was, the girl I wanted kissing me, and God, she could kiss, and me usually having no problem to act and yet, I was just frozen out of my mind by her kissing me. I knew I should respond, kiss her back, take over but hell, I just couldn't get over the fact that _Veronica Mars_ was kissing me, on the day of her dad's funeral, after Jake Kane had dropped a thing like that into her lap and after us almost having a fight and yet, she was kissing me.

When she broke the kiss I almost moaned at the loss. All I wanted was to draw her back and never stop kissing her again. But I just couldn't get myself to move and if my life depended on it.

_Veronica Mars had kissed me. _

And you know what the irony of it all was? She was actually the first girl to have ever done that. Kiss me first. Normally, I was the one to initiate a first kiss, not the other way around. Not even Lilly, open, forward, experienced, cocky, always teasing Lilly, had kissed me first. And now, sweet, little, innocent, inexperienced Veronica Mars had gone and kissed me.

Well, sweet, sure, even the harder version of her, little, definitely, inexperienced, yeah, I think so, but innocent? Oh boy, no. There was no innocence in that kiss. That was the kiss of the same girl that had planted a bong in my locker and had gotten me suspended for three days. And where the hell had she learned to kiss like that? Surely not from Duncan. Perhaps from Vandegraff, and I didn't like that thought at all. But then, it didn't really matter, did it?

All I knew was that she could kiss like hell and I wanted _more_. If I could just get out of this fucking frozenness.

What was this anyway? Had a Charmed one come by to freeze me into this moment of time or what?

Then, finally, her words penetrated through my frozen state.

_I'm sorry._

Sorry? For what on Earth should she be sorry? For kissing me? Was she crazy? If there was one thing she would never, ever have to apologize for, then it was for kissing me.

But it was only when she started to get up, probably to bolt, that I finally could break out of my stupor and finally act. I didn't hesitate a second longer and pulled her to me, my mouth crashing on hers as I _finally_ kissed her back.

When I've pictured Ronnie and me kissing, it had always been rather sweet, tender, light, it taking some time for it to grow more heated and passionate. Boy, had I been wrong. This kiss, just like hers a moment before, had nothing sweet or tender or light – no, it was hot, engulfing and full of a passion like I've seldom experienced it so far, not with just a mere kiss. I was on flames and all I wanted was to burn more, to devour that mouth of hers, to melt together with her, to savor that enticing taste of hers, the only sweet thing in that kiss, forever and beyond.

In short, it was pretty much an absolutely perfect kiss a guy could only dream about. A bit too perfect, like I rapidly grew aware of as I barely registered my pants, large ones I might add, to really become uncomfortably tight.

Damn, that girl could kiss.

I'm not sure who broke the kiss, if it was her or me, but we did, eventually, and rested our foreheads against each other, our hearts beating fast and our breath ragged.

"_What_ are we doing?" Ronnie whispered, her voice carrying a tad bit of unbelief but also gurgling laughter.

I went with that gurgling laughter. "No idea," I whispered back and then went for her lips again, immediately deepening the kiss to a level we hadn't reached so far, a level that made me go crazy with need, but hey, I'm a hot-blooded, seventeen years old hetero guy, I can take it.

I think.

Her arms slipped around me, her small hands went up my back and then buried themselves into my hair and I wanted more, more, more… I wanted her hands to touch my skin and even more, I wanted to touch hers. I felt her leaning back, pulling me with her and I followed her only too happily, one of my hands running down her side to the rime of her shirt, slipping beneath it. Electricity shot through me the second my fingers touched the white, silk skin on her stomach and I felt her gasp against my mouth as well.

God.

Fuck.

Exactly.

With enormous effort, I ripped my mouth away from hers, resorting back to lean my forehead against hers, desperately trying to get my body under control again. I doubted though that anything less than a quick trip into the ocean would do the trick, if at all.

Did I mention that that girl could kiss?

"We need to stop, Ronnie," I whispered, once I trusted my voice to not fail me.

"Stop? Why? I don't want to stop," she murmured, leaning up in search of my lips again.

I was only more than happy to help her out and let her ravish my mouth once again. Heaven knew that I probably was addicted to her kisses for life from now on. But when I felt her hands pulling my shirt out of my pants I broke away from her once again. "Veronica…"

"Hmm?"

Her eyes were hooded with passion and all I wanted was to lean down to capture her lips again and to just let go. Instead, I leaned farther away from her. I was pretty sure that Ronnie wasn't ready to go much farther yet. Hell, I was pretty sure that she had no idea of what I was talking about and if she knew, she would be the one to push back.

I smiled ruefully at her. "Because if we don't stop now I can't guarantee that I can stop at all anymore," I told her gently.

Her eyes cleared a little and widened as her hands fell away from my body and her head sank back onto the blanket. "Oh…"

"Yeah, _Oh…_" I teased her gently, nuzzling my nose against hers.

See? I knew it. Ronnie may be able to kiss like she's Aphrodite and Mata Hari all mixed up, but beyond that… Heaven, she probably was still a virgin for all I knew, despite all the contrary rumors. And she wasn't ready yet, I knew she wasn't ready yet. _We_ weren't ready yet to go that far. But that was okay. I could wait. It would be hard, but I really didn't mind. I wanted Ronnie, I wanted a relationship, not just a quick romp and so I think we actually needed to wait. This was going a bit too fast anyway, but then, that was us. In the blink of a second we'd gone from nothing to being close friends. In another blink, we've gone from that to being archenemies and hate each other. Yet another blink and we were back to friends. And now, at the last blink, we've gone from being friends to being something more, lovers if I was going to have it how I wanted it. When it happened, when we'd made love for the first time, it wasn't going to happen here or anywhere else, in the heat of the moment. It was going to be thoroughly planned out and carefully arranged, guaranteeing an unforgettable night and a hopefully beautiful experience for Ronnie.

But certainly not at a place where already my first time with Lilly had been, like I suspected Veronica knew only too well. Not that I would ever be so stupid to compare her to Lilly, but I wanted us to have a different set of memories.

Beneath me, Ronnie did that gurgling laughter again. "Right…"

It was dark, but I was pretty sure that she was beet red by now. I could feel the warmth on her cheek beneath my thumb that was still stroking slowly up and down there. Smiling, I leaned down and gave her yet another kiss, this time though keeping it sweet and feather-light, tender. Then I rolled to the side and landed on my back beside Ronnie, gazing up into the stars as I willed my heart to slow down and my body to cool down.

Easier said than done.

"I guess we need to talk about this, huh?"

I turned my head to her but she was still looking up to the stars. "No, we don't," I told her softly.

That made her snap her head towards me. "What?"

I laughed and gave her nose a tab with my finger. "We don't need to talk about this. What's there to talk about?" I shrugged, not an easy task when lying on your back, believe me, and then turned fully to her, propping my head up onto my hand as I gazed into her confused eyes. "I want you and from the way you just kissed me I'm pretty sure that you want us to be together as well. That's all we need to know."

"But…"

I raised an eyebrow. "But what? We're together now, boyfriend and girlfriend, and that's it." Suddenly, I got worried. "That's what you want too, isn't it?" I asked, starting to frown. And then, a really, really terrible thought popped up and though I refused to believe it, it was there now, nagging at my confidence and conscience. Especially, as she still had to answer my previous question. "Wait. This isn't some weird way of you to get back at Jake, isn't it?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Shit.

Sure enough, Veronica's eyes narrowed and abruptly, she sat up. "_What_?"

Damn it!

Quickly, I sat up as well. "Ronnie…"

"How… No!" She shook her head, not loosing the glare though. And boy, she could glare. "To make one thing perfectly clear, right from the beginning: I am _not_ Lilly!"

"I know," I hurriedly assured her, urgently.

I knew that. God, I knew that.

She didn't seem to be as convinced by my words as I would have wanted it. Not at all. "Do you? Do you really?" she asked and I cringed a little at the sharpness in her voice. "Are you really sure? Because I won't be a substitute, not for Lilly, not for anyone."

I reached out and cupped her face with both of my hands, tilting her head up so she had no choice than to look into my eyes. She didn't struggle against me and I took that as a good sign but her eyes were guarded, guarded like they had been before everything changed back to be better again between us, and I felt panic rise in my heart.

Fuck.

"I know you are not Lilly. You could never be. And that's good, because I don't want Lilly, I want you, Veronica," I told her, letting my voice carry my absolute honesty in this matter or at least that's what I hoped. Unfortunately, her eyes were still guarded. "I'm sorry, okay? I know that you're not the type of girl to do something like that, but you know me, I usually act or speak before I think and fact is, I don't have the best record of relationships and for a moment, I was worried. Irrationally perhaps, but I couldn't help it. Just… please Ronnie, don't make too much out of this than it is."

Slowly, the wariness in her eyes ebbed away. Thank God. After another moment, she reached up and covered my hands that were still holding her face with her own. "Okay… Okay. But you need to realize that I am not the kind of girl to string someone, you, along, to use you shamelessly like you just suggested I did or to ever cheat on you. I am not. I'm not Lilly, I'm not Caitlin or any of the other bimbos you ever dated and you better remember that. Now, because I'm not willing to have you mistrust me or compare me to your exes all the time." She shook her head. "I know I've changed, a lot, but not like that. But if you still think I'm capable of something like that, Logan, then we better forget about this right here and now."

"No!" I immediately insisted, shaking my head. Instead of trying to find anymore words to reassure her I simply showed it to her by kissing her, deep, honest, open, putting everything into that kiss that I could so she'd _know_. "No," I repeated once again in a whisper, once I let go of her lips, touching my forehead against hers to bring back the intimacy of the moments before my mouth had gotten me into trouble.

"Okay," she said after a while, a little breathless if I wasn't wrong.

Relieved like hell, I chuckled. "I guess we needed to talk about this after all, huh?"

"I guess so," she replied with a nod, but I could tell that there was still something on her mind.

Frowning a little, I drew back and studied her, the way she bit her lip and how her eyes were just a bit unfocused. "Ronnie?"

Her eyes cleared and she looked up at me, hesitant.

Uh-oh.

"What is it?" I still asked.

"Uh… Please don't get this the wrong way but… I… I think we should keep this," she waved at me and her, "for us, at least for a while."

She… what?

At first, I wanted to go up. But I managed to reign in my temper and instead forced myself to stay calm. "Why?" I simply asked and I could see that my lack of explosion seemed to surprise her. I almost smiled at that. Almost.

She recovered fast enough though and her eyes held mine, pleading me to listen and understand. "Because I get enough grief about you as it is already and that just because we went back to being friends." Well, that wasn't any news. I knew well enough what Fennel, Hunter and all her other friends and would-be-protectors though about me. But what had that to do with everything? "But they could see that I had my mind set and also saw that you were good for me so they did keep their mistrust of you and their displeasure to a minimum. But trust me, the second they get wind of us… well…"

"Going out?" I supplied.

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah. When they get wind of that then they're going to interfere. They'll think you're taking advantage of me in my grief, think you'll use my vulnerability right now and though I doubt they'll ask me to send you to hell I just know that they'll make it their mission to not let us be alone anymore, to watch our every move, every word." She sighed. "And let's be honest: if word gets out, we're going to be the object of every talk at school and we'll be under everyone's eyes and I bet more than just one of your buddies will try to right the world again and safe you from the trash I am as well because you so deserve someone better than me."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she beat me to it. "And I know that's not what you think and that you probably don't give a shit about all that but I do, okay? I'm not ready to loose the comfort of being alone with you that we established over the past week. I want to be able to continue to touch you and hug you whenever I want to and being touched by you without everyone immediately watching or glaring at us. And the talk about me will be bad enough already once I'll go back to school, for everything that happened, for us being back at being friends and God, when the news will get out that I'm Jake's daughter and that for almost a year, I've dated my own brother… You know. I'm just not ready to add to that by coming out with this as well now. Because you know what they're going to say: I finally managed it, they'll say. I've taken Lilly's place, Lilly's position at last and now even Lilly's boyfriend as well." She made a face and shook her head. "I can't deal with this right now on top of everything else. I'm sorry, Logan, but I can't. I want this, us, but can't we just keep it for ourselves for a while longer? Our little secret to draw strength out of it, to hold me together, to give us at least some peace away from the craziness that will be our life? Not forever, of course not, but just until the worst of it is over?"

I didn't respond immediately. Instead, I absentmindedly run my thumbs over her cheeks while I thought about her words. She was right, I couldn't care even less what everyone else thought. But I did care what she felt and sadly, I fear she was right about her assumptions about the different reactions to the news that we'd gotten together and were dating now. And I could understand why she just didn't want to deal with that as well. But most, I remembered Jake, warning me to stay away from Ronnie. She was right. Us going public with our relationship would seriously cut the time alone we'd have, barely granting us a few minutes here and there. Jake may even forbid me to come over to their house and in hindsight of everything, I couldn't risk that.

Ronnie above everything else.

I took a deep breath and then exhaled it slowly. "Okay," I said, nodding once.

"Okay?" Ronnie repeated, surprised.

Smiling, I nodded again. "Okay," I agreed once more and gave her a slow, sensual kiss.

"Wow," she murmured after a while and leaned against me. "Here I thought I know you for all those years and yet, you're still full of surprises."

My arms wrapped around her and I smirked. "Oh baby, you haven't even seen the beginning of it yet," I told her with a drawl.

She looked up at me with raised eyebrows. "No?"

"Nope," I replied and my grin turned wicked as I winked at her. "This secret relationship thing has quite some potential, you know." My grin widened and I nodded. "Yep, thinking about it I think secrets can actually be kinda hot."

"Oh boy…" Ronnie groaned, rolling her eyes.

My grin the size of Texas now, I honed in to steal another kiss from Ronnie.

My girlfriend.

You see now why I really, really think of the beach as my lucky place?

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: Uff… Now I'm spent. I've been writing on this for three days straight and there was so much in it that I'm actually really exhausted now. And a sadistic part of me hopes that reading this little chapter had at least a bit that effect on you as well. Anyway, hope you liked it, especially the LoVe action. It's actually the first time I wrote a kiss between them, despite writing in this fandom for a while now. I do hope I gave them justice. As you noticed, I added a short change of POV. I've debated about it, but in the end I just wanted Veronica to give her thoughts of that special, important moment immediately and not wait 'til the next chapter to go back to this moment. The rule though will stay one chapter, one POV and I'll reserve to switch only for really important ones like this one. Thanks so much for the truly amazing reviews I got for the last chapter, once again! I'm glad you liked my little surprise about Jake so much.)_


	7. Refuge

**Chapter 7: Refuge**

You know that feeling when you really, really hope that a moment or even a whole night will never end, as foolish as you know that is, because really, it's impossible? Well, I was having just such a moment and frankly said, I was a little surprised at that. If someone would have told me that there is one moment on the day of my father's funeral I would never want to end, I'd have been really angry and made a mental note to get even with the idiot on a later note. Especially right after Jake Kane came and announced that he is my father and demanded of me to move in into his house, a house where my best friend, my sister, had been murdered and in which it's very well possible that the murderer of her is still living.

Of course though I should have known better to presume anything where Logan Echolls was involved, even if it was merely by his presence. Especially then. If there is one thing you can be sure of, then that Logan Echolls is always good for a surprise, be it a good one or a bad one. I should know. After all, I've been on the other end of those surprises more than once.

Just look at that night alone: he had surprised me several times, first by his surprising statement that of course Jake Kane wasn't my father and never would be, that my father would always be my dad, Keith Mars. Then by the extraordinary fact that all of a sudden, after a year of hate and almost a week of avoiding, he had been ready to listen to my reasons why Abel Koontz hadn't killed Lilly and even more amazing, had pledged himself to be fully on my side even if that meant that he had to at least think it possible that one of the Kanes had something to do with Lilly's murder. Followed by his almost comical first reaction to me kissing him, his then very intense kissing back, sending all my senses, my whole body on fire, immediately followed by him simply declaring that we didn't need to talk about what had happened between us as it was pretty clear that we'd be in a relationship as from now on to finally agreeing to be my secret boyfriend just like that.

Yeah, peg me as being not just surprised, but as being flabbergasted.

Take that: me, Veronica Mars and him, Logan Echolls, _dating_.

Logan Echolls - my boyfriend.

It didn't matter that I've seen this coming in the past week. It didn't matter that years ago, I first had felt that tiny flutter in my stomach that promised me so much more - us dating should be an impossibility after everything that had happened between us. Him dating Lilly, me dating Duncan, us falling apart and growing to be such ugly enemies.

No matter what, one cannot deny the simple fact that Logan had hurt me terribly, in a way more than Duncan ever had. Not only by denying me the friendship that would have helped me so much after Lilly's death and then my mom's abandonment but also by turning the whole school against me. And I've hurt him, I know that, even though I still don't know exactly how I've hurt him so much that he had turned to hate me with such a ferocity. Or at least not fully. I understood better now but I had the feeling that there was still missing a piece of the puzzle. One day, I would have to ask him about it. But not that night. I didn't want to go into that in that somewhat wonderful night, any less than I wanted to get into another thing altogether with him right now.

The rape.

I shivered and not just from the coldness that had laid itself onto the world.

Before I knew it, a sweater was wrapped around me and Logan pulled me closer to him, lightly kissing my neck.

"Always being cold so fast," he whispered amused as his warm hands covered mine and rubbed them gently. "You're just too damn tiny."

I smiled as my heart lifted, pushing away the layers of our ugly past to come back to the pureness of just this moment. Me wrapped into the warmth and safety of Logan's body, us snuggled up on his blanket on the beach, bathed in moonlight and the waves softly washing up and ebbing away.

A moment that was perfect, despite everything or perhaps just because of everything, a moment I never wanted to end.

"Hey, leave my size out of this. Me getting cold fast has nothing to do with my size that is, may I add, just perfect," I protested, glaring up at him.

Grinning and totally unfazed by my glare, he lowered his head and kissed me deeply.

By Heaven, could that boy _kiss_! If I had known that I would have gone and kissed him way back.

"No, of course it has nothing to do with your size," Logan nodded sarcastically once he broke our kiss and I blinked, needing a moment to get back my bearings. A blink that didn't go unnoticed, judging by the satisfied smirk on his face. Ugh. "And hey, I'm not complaining. You're just the right size for me, but fact is you are tiny, my little pixie, and not even you can deny that," he added.

I narrowed my eyes. "Excuse me, but did you just call me a _pixie_, Echolls?"

His grin grew as he nodded. "Yep, I have."

A frown joined my narrowed eyes. "And what exactly do you think I have in common with little blue monsters with wings and nothing but havoc in mind?"

At that he loved. "Well, besides your obvious tiny-ness: for one, you for sure are one hell of a troublemaker. Not to mention that you have a knack to cause havoc yourself." I flared up but before I could give him a biting response, his eyes gentled as he gave me a quick but soft kiss. "But I'm not thinking of those pixies, Ronnie, when I think of you but of the sort of pixies who are pure magical creatures, beautiful with their airy clothes and fragile but wonderful wings, sprinkling golden dust, the epitome of peace but oh so fierce and unrelenting in battle."

Stunned into speechlessness, I stared at him. I've known him for years but this tenderness and this, hell, romanticism of him was a completely new side of him, a side I guess only his girlfriends had ever seen of him. Probably only Lilly had seen it before. I've seen glimpses of it and Lilly had dropped a remark here or there, remarks I've always laughed about because though I knew that there was a surprising deepness in Logan, I just couldn't see the smirking, mischievous boy I knew as such a softie at heart - but boy, she sure hadn't been kidding.

I felt myself smile somewhat amused. "Boy, our take on pixies is sure as hell different."

Logan shrugged. "As mine is the way more accurate and definitely better opinion I'd say we go with my imagination on pixies from now on."

One of my eyebrows rose. "You'd say?"

"Hmm..." he nodded, stroking up my arms, leaving a trail of burning goosebumps. "After all, I'm not going to stop calling you my little pixie, because really, you are, and to avoid further arguments we best decide here and now that we agree on my version of pixies that is so much more flattering to you than yours."

I considered this for a moment before I slowly nodded. "Ooookaaay. But know that this is only in honor of this night when we became a couple - and only when I get to call you my jackass - 'cause baby, that's what you are - most of the time."

His brown eyes turned to me, having lost part of their smugness. Good. "That's not fair, Ronnie! Here I have a perfectly complimentary endearment for you and all you come up with is jackass?"

It was my turn to grin. "A very affectionately called jackass, baby," I assured him mockingly.

He frowned. "Still... does it have to be a jackass?" he asked grudgingly.

I shrugged, my grin intensifying as I leaned up and kissed him lightly. His eyes searched mine when I drew back and nodded slightly. "Yeah Logan, it has to be. The jackass and I have history, you know? I promise I'll find another curse for you for the times I'll be spitting mad at you." I shook my head and made a face. "For I very doubt that the explosives between us will cease to go up just because we're hitched now and have make up make out sessions now instead of truces."

His eyebrows shot up. "Make up make out sessions?" he asked, interested.

"Got a better idea?" I asked, smirking.

Eagerly, he nodded, leering. "Sure. Make up sex. Nothing beats make up sex, Babe."

Laughing, I swatted at him. "Down boy. First, we may want to have normal sex before we start with the make up sex. So make up make out it is until then."

"Well in that case we'll just see to it that we get that sex out of the way soon so I can teach you the wonders of make up sex. I may start a fight with you just for that cause," Logan suggested, one of his arms sneaking around my waist and doing some kind of circling thing with his thumb that I felt resonating deep in my belly, causing me to catch my breath in surprise of the unfamiliar but definitively good feeling.

I swallowed and tried to concentrate on giving him a flippant answer. "Don't sweat it, Echolls. I promise you here and now that if you try that, the least you'll get is make up sex."

He sighed. "Ronnie, really, you seriously need to work on your romantic side."

"Make up sex is romantic?" I asked, unbelieving.

"Very," he nodded with such a straight face that I narrowed my eyes, unsure. He still kept the straight face. I bend my head to the side. At last, the corners of his mouth started to twitch.

"Ha!" I exclaimed, pointing my finger at him.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Okay, perhaps not that romantic. But it definitely has something on its very own - as you'll see."

"We'll see about that," I remarked dryly, but then turned serious.

Strangely, I had no problems with Logan making all those innuendos about sex. And even more amazing, I had not one moment of panic when Logan and I had lost control a bit in our feverish second kiss. Hell, I think it was even _me_ who pulled him down and right on top of me and _him_ who had to pull the break because I sure as hell wasn't anywhere near stopping. Something that was totally unexpected to me. Not him stopping us but me not only being so forward but also that I had managed to get so lost in the feelings Logan had evoked in me, them feeling so naturally and God, so very, very right and _good_.

It never had been like that with Troy, my only boyfriend since Duncan - and since the rape. With him, I've always put a stop to it as soon as it got a bit too heavy for my taste. And believe me, that was way less than how far Logan had let it go between us before he had pulled back. With Troy, there had always been this shadow lurking, this dark memory I didn't remember but knew it was there and whenever it had gotten too intense I had felt panic raising its ugly heat. Not this time though - not with Logan. With him, I forgot everything and just _felt_, nothing else, no panic, no dark thoughts mulling if I've already experienced this or that that night. And that was so much more than I'd ever hoped for - and definitely not anything I'd ever have imagined happening with Logan of all people.

Then again, after this past week, and as strange as it seemed, Logan was the one person I trusted most in this world right now. Even more than Wallace, though Wallace was a close second.

But still...

Tentatively, I covered his hand laying on my stomach with mine and looked up into his eyes, suddenly nervous and a tad bit shy. "Logan, I..."

That was how far I got before Logan, his eyes gentle and suddenly serious as well shushed me with a finger on my lips.

"Ssshhh... No hurry, Veronica. We'll wait until you're ready. You don't have to worry about that," he told me softly.

I felt something loosing inside me, some tight knot, but I was still a bit hesitant. "Are you sure, Logan? I mean... You..." Thank God it was night. Otherwise I was pretty sure he could marvel about the beet red color I've taken on by now.

He shrugged, smiling, and stroked with the back of his fingers over my cheek. "Ronnie... While I won't deny that sex is good, sex is wonderful, sex is one of the best activities life can offer you and definitely my favorite one - sex is not everything, not in a relationship. You know that. I have no problem with waiting, Ronnie, really not. We won't do anything you're not ready for, I promise you that." He smiled ruefully. "I can't promise you that I'll never go too far, 'cause I can tell you already, it is damn hard to not lose control with you, but if that happens you just have to say it, okay? And I promise I'll stop. I perhaps will need a moment, but I'll stop." He smiled, but his eyes were dead serious and I knew he meant ever word he had just said. Again, his hand caressed my cheek. "So really, don't you worry about that, okay? We'll wait as long as it takes and once you think you're ready, I'll see to it that it will be a truly memorable night." His eyes gentled even more, if that was possible. "And I promise that I'll be gentle and careful," he promised in a whisper, stroking a stray of my hair behind my ear, his eyes never leaving mine.

By God... I realized with a start. He really believed that I was still a virgin. Despite all the rumors mostly _he_ had spread, despite all the nasty remarks he had thrown at my head for a year, never knowing just how deep they really hurt me... despite all that he believed that I was still a virgin.

My throat closed off and despite my fight against it, a big fat tear escaped my eyes and rolled down over my cheek. Damn it. I didn't want to cry. But... Oh God, it felt so good to hear that Logan never had believed those rumors, despite everything. I hadn't known it would mean that much to me to hear his voice of confidence on that matter, hear him so easily declaring that he hadn't thought me a slut all this times, no matter what he had said to me.

Another tear escaped and made its way down my cheek.

And then... him assuring me so fiercely that we didn't have to rush into things, promising me to stop whenever I wanted to... you have no idea what a relief and what a gift that was for me. Hell, I had no idea how very much it would mean to me to hear such reassurances.

"Shit, Ronnie, I'm sorry... I..." Logan though nervously said, wiping away the tears, staring at me with wide and confused eyes.

And I did something that at any other moment would have ashamed me deeply. I, distastefully girlish and weak, threw myself at him, causing us to fall back onto the blanket, my arms clinging to him and before he could yelp his surprise, I shut him up with a kiss. I kissed him for all it was worth and right then and there, I could have had him, right then and there. It would have been wrong, I knew that and definitely not where I wanted it to happen as I knew perfectly well that his first time with Lilly had also been on the beach and as much as I loved the beach and being there with him that night, I definitely didn't want our first time to happen like theirs. But right then and there, I didn't care and it was Logan who once again prevented things from going beyond the point of no return by rolling us over so he was on top and, after a long, heavily moment in which his deep kiss and his magical hands had me soaring to unknown highs, broke away to gaze down at me, his eyes darker than I've ever seen them and him swallowing two times before he managed to speak. "Uh... Ronnie?" he asked, staring down at me, confused. "What... What was that?"

The air between us cooled with the cold breeze stroking over my heated body and slowly, I came back to reason and sighed. If we continued like that Logan would definitely not have to wait long for us to have sex. But I couldn't sleep with him without first telling him about... about Shelley's party. I'm not sure why I was so absolute sure about that, with Troy I never even dreamed of telling him about what had happened, but now, here with Logan, I knew I'd have to tell him. Perhaps to warn him should I still freeze suddenly though right now, I really doubted that. I couldn't imagine that I'd ever feel frightened with him. I trusted him, completely, as much I knew without even the slightest doubt. He needed to know. Deserved to know it. But God, I so didn't want to ever have to tell him that. It would take a while for me to be ready for that, I knew that instinctively. So perhaps he really would need to wait a while longer.

And so would I.

Taking a deep, calming breath, I smiled and touched his cheek, caressing it. "Just a little thank you," I told him.

His forefront wrinkled as his eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Okaaaayyy... You sure have an interesting way to be grateful. Not that I complain."

Smirking, I lightly pushed at him so I could sit up. "Would have surprised me otherwise, Buster."

He conveniently complied and sat up as well, never leaving me out of his eyes though. I could tell that he still was a bit unsure about what had just happened. But he wouldn't understand for quite a while yet - not until I found the courage to tell him about Shelley's party. Not just because of well... what had happened. But because I knew deep down that as soon as he learned of the rape, he'd start to blame himself for it. He likes to blame himself for things he really wasn't responsible for, I've noticed that already years before. And jeez, he was going to be so angry. I just knew that.

Once again, I shivered.

Moving to sit behind me so Logan's long legs stretched out along mine, straddling me, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest and rested his chin on my left shoulder. "Warmer?" he asked.

Sighing contently, I nodded and leaned more into him.

No, I definitely didn't want this moment to ever end and me having to return to the harsh realities of my life.

* * *

I'm not sure how much longer we sat there like that, not talking much anymore, just enjoying each other's nearness. Perhaps an hour, perhaps a little more.

Eventually though, the cold breeze chilled to a level even Logan started to feel the coldness. Not that he said anything, but I was close enough to him to see the goosebumps on his arm - and definitely close enough to feel even his omnipresent heat to loose some of its intensity. Which in turn made me feel the coldness again as well and when I shivered once again, Logan sighed.

"We should go, Ronnie," he told me quietly.

"I know," I sighed as well. "But I really, really, really don't want to go yet. I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I but unfortunately, we can't stay here all night. It is winter after all, even if it's Californian winter," Logan said reluctantly.

This time I just sighed, didn't move though. I knew we couldn't stay there but I wasn't ready to go back to his house... Not when it was very likely that Jake may still wait there for me - or had left instructions to have me delivered immediately to the Kane mansion once I get back. "Do you think he's still there?" I asked Logan tonelessly.

His arms tightened around me. "I don't know."

"Logan, I can't... I can't go there, not already tonight. Definitely not tonight," I tensely said, biting my lip.

"Then you won't. You're right. You don't have to face that tonight. You shouldn't have to face it," Logan told me, firmly.

I lifted my eyes to him. "It's not that easy, Logan. Probably, Jake's still camping out at your house. And if not he'll sure as hell will have left instructions to bring me to him once I show up. You know him. You've seen how determined he had been."

"Relax. We'll just stay clear of him tonight," Logan though tried to sooth me.

"For all we know he has already set out the police to look for us. Heaven knows your car isn't hard to miss," I worried, bitterly, then made a face, remembering Sam. "I'm sure at least Sam will be out looking for me. He for sure will be worried."

Logan frowned, thinking for a moment. "Okay, here is what we'll do: You'll call Hunter and let him know that you're okay but that you want to stay clear for Jake for the rest of the night. And you'll ask him to pass this message along, especially to Jake."

"That might do it," I tiredly nodded. "But still doesn't tell us where to go so Jake will leave us alone."

Logan shrugged. "We can go to a hotel."

I made a face again. "Which one? The only kind of hotel that will take us in at this time of the night are not really hotels I'll be comfortable staying in. If they let us book a room for the rest of the night and won't let it cost us a fortune might I add."

"Point," Logan conceded. "Wallace?"

I shook my head. "Too late as well."

"I doubt he would mind," Logan remarked gently.

"Of course not. But I mind. I don't want to wake his Mom and his brother and cause trouble for them. Which we would be. They don't have a guestroom, not a free one at least," I still refused straight out.

Besides, I would rather want us to be alone tonight.

"Where to then?" Logan wanted to know with a sigh.

Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back to rest it on his shoulder. I knew a place where we could go to. We'd have peace, would be alone, would have nothing to pay nor would we cause any trouble to anyone. The keys were in my pockets. Had always been. Though I couldn't have faced going back there, I couldn't have let go of the keys either. Tonight though... tonight, after everything that had happened, I felt like I needed to go back.

To go home.

For the last time in my life.

At least to that home.

Yeah.

I opened my eyes. "I know of a place," I told Logan quietly.

He waited a moment, probably for me to elaborate, but I didn't do him the favor.

"Okay... wanna let me in into the secret or should I guess?" he asked and I had to smile at the slight annoyance in his voice.

"Home," I simply answered though, bracing myself for what I thought would come now.

Logan was quiet for a long time, staring at me, having caught up on the meaning of my words immediately. "You think that's a good idea?" he finally asked, gently though.

I shook my head. "No idea. But I know I need to go home. Tonight."

He studied me for a moment longer before he nodded slowly. "Okay," he simply said, surprising me once again with his easy acceptance, and then turned his head to capture my mouth, giving me another kiss, sweet and tender.

When he broke away he stood up and held out his hand to help me up. "Let's go then."

I allowed myself to stare at him for a tiny moment before I let him pull me up and I shook my head. "Will you ever stop to surprise me?"

He flashed me one of his most patented grins. "Not if I can prevent it. Where would be the fun in that?" he gave back and bent down to pick up the blanket. "Besides," he confidently added. "You love me for my unpredictability, just admit it, Mars."

"Yeah, as much as I love that car of yours," I remarked dryly.

"See? Totally crazy for me," Logan nodded, ignoring my jab at his car, and smirking, he put his arm around me to pull me as close as it was still possible for us to walk and started to steer us back towards said car of his. "You just can't resist me."

I rolled my eyes. "You wish, Echolls," I retorted sarcastically but reached up to intertwine my fingers with the ones loosely resting on my shoulder, a gesture I've always liked especially, somehow giving me the impression that there was no end to me and the boy I was going out with.

Smiling, Logan leaned down his head. "I certainly do," he whispered lowly, leaving a quick kiss on my neck. "My little pixie."

"Jackass," I murmured, but I couldn't stop my grin to spread out.

So sue me: I really had a hard time resisting the obnoxious jackass.

_My_ jackass.

Catching that thought I grinned even more. Boy, I was gone completely over the edge: I really was crazy - for just that jackass of mine.

* * *

Here I stood now - in front of the door that led to the apartment that had been my home for the past year, keys in my shaking hand and for the life of me, I just couldn't bring myself to slide the key into the lock and turn it. Such an easy, everyday task - but right now, it seemed an impossible task.

What had I been thinking - coming here? I wasn't ready for this! I wasn't ready to go in there and have to face that cold, empty apartment! So empty. It would be so empty...

My throat closed off and I stared down at my feet, frozen in my indecision. I didn't want to go in there - but at the same time I didn't want to leave again either, something still pulling me inside. The decision to come here hadn't come just out of nowhere. I had had my reasons and they still stood. But what determination and peace I had felt at the beach had evaporated the second I came to a stop in front of that door.

The drive over had been okay. I made the call to Sam and afterwards, Logan had kept things light or we just had been silent and listened to the music that was playing. And of course he was there now, at my back, waiting silently, something, I was very thankful for. I appreciated it that as soon as he had seen me suddenly hesitating, he hadn't suggested to leave again, or had asked if I really was sure this was the right thing to do or simply had taken my keys to unlock the door himself. No, he just waited and gave me time and I knew if I decided that I couldn't face the empty apartment now, he would just bring me somewhere else without any comment.

And somehow, that thought comforted me at the same time as it gave me strength.

I wasn't alone. The apartment may be terribly empty but I wasn't alone. I wouldn't be alone, perhaps never, if Logan held his word. I had Logan and Logan would stay with me, be there for me. Plus, there were my other friends. Wallace. Sam. Mac. Meg. Even Weevil. Fausto and Cliff. I wasn't alone.

So I could do this. It was necessary. It was right.

Taking a deep breath, I took a step forward and slowly inserted the key into the lock after my second try. Taking another breath, I turned the key. After another moment of hesitation and a third deep breath, I turned the knob and opened the door.

The first thing I grew aware of was the foul, sticky smell that waved out of the now open door, a typical smell for any closed space that hadn't been aired in a while. Not that it was bad - but I smelt it anyways. And I was stalling time. Annoyed with myself, I squared my shoulders and slowly stepped inside, always aware of the warmth at my back, Logan, and drawing strength from it.

Wordlessly, I switched on the light and then moved to the window to open it while Logan quietly closed and locked the door. Refusing to look around, I focused my eyes on Logan, glad for the distraction. Logan had never been here before, of course not. He'd been to the house we've lived in before though, plenty of times and there were probably plenty of things he would recognize. Not the furniture, but the little things scattered around, some of the pictures. Quite some things in my room.

Still. The apartment was shabby, no way around that, and the furniture had seen better days, also an undeniable fact. But Dad and I had done the best we could to make it comfortable, homey and I think we've managed that. Even if I've only lived for barely a year here, it had been home. A good home.

An empty home now.

"They yours?"

At Logan's questions I looked up and saw him standing in front of a row of enlargements of some of my pictures that Dad and I had hung up to give the place a more personal touch. Okay, Dad had framed and put them up while my work had been done with making them.

Silently, I nodded, moving over to Logan, desperate for the warmth he emanated constantly.

It was so cold in the apartment now.

"They're good," he said quietly and looked further around, his eyes gliding over me.

I shrugged, but nodded. "Thanks," I said, watching him as his gaze swept over the apartment, taking it in. I very much doubted that Logan had ever been in a shabby place like this. Actually, I would be surprised if he ever had been in this part of Neptune. Unless he wanted to do a dare or pull a prank. Logan was a snob, but he sure as hell was also a major troublemaker, so it was possible. I still don't think he'd been in an apartment like this ever before. His friends were without exceptions all rich and had grown up in big mansions with pools and fences to keep out the real world. Well, I had been an exception, but back then we had had the house, just at the border of the 09er district. That was acceptable, I think. And the girls he had dated before and since Lilly plus during their break-ups and even the girls he had had sex with - and yeah, there was a difference - also hadn't been poor, at least not those I knew of. Well, there may have been a maid or waitress or even a hooker here and there but he sure as hell hadn't gone to their place to have sex with - at least that was what I thought. Like said: Logan was quite a snob.

"Sooo... this is where you've lived for the past year."

Logan's voice brought me out of my musings and I grew aware that he was looking at me now.

"Yep," I nodded again.

"Hmm... I guess it's still better than a shoe box or trailer car park," he commented dryly, his lips curling in disdain as he stared at a part of the wall where no decoration in the world had been able to hide the desolate state it was in. "But really not that far. You sure it's safe to sleep here? I mean, there has no one been here in a week. I bet the cockroaches and flees had had the party of the year. And the rats had been probably dancing samba on the counter now that the wild beastie is gone."

For a moment, I stared at him, open-mouthed. Then I started to laugh. A laugh so hard that it started to hurt my side and my eyes were tearing a little as well.

"I shudder at the pure thought of what I'll find in the bathroom - a plumb down? And you've got running water here I assume. At least there's a sink in the kitchen. But is there warm water as well? 'cause this looks like the kind of place in TV shows or movies where that's not necessarily a given thing," Logan continued, smirking.

Laughing even harder, I shook my head. "You're impossible," I managed to gasp out, my sides burning.

"And still you want me," Logan drawled confidently and boxed me slightly into my side.

Shaking my head, I tried to reign in my laughter. "I don't know why." I let myself fall down onto the couch, exhaustion catching up with me, but still rumbling with laughter. Not quite sure but I think I was having a little hysteric breakdown. But damn, it had been a long day and I deserved to have a breakdown.

"Because I'm adorable?" Logan remarked and sat down beside me, pulling me into his arms.

Finally, I quieted down, letting his gently strokes over my hair and my arms sooth me.

"No. Because you know me better than anyone else, now that Dad is gone. Because despite everything, you came through for me," I whispered and looked up to see that he had gone completely still, staring at me. "Because you stayed, one way or another and didn't abandon me. As much as I hated to have lost you as a friend, as much as I hated our war - you still stayed, Logan. You became the enemy, but at least you were there none the less, still noticing me, even if it was as someone you despised. Still a part of my life. And now you are here, making sure that I'm not alone. Keeping me together. You stayed." I flashed back to not too long ago when Dad and I had had a talk about staying as well and I swallowed, fighting back the tears. Dad was gone now, but if he had had a choice, he would have stayed. If he had had a chance, he would have fought like hell to stay with me. And if there was a way for him to still be with me and look after me from death, he would do just that, I knew that as well. "The one who stays is the good guy, Logan. And it's the one I want and will do my best to stay for as well, if it's just for him," I told him quietly.

I wasn't sure where the suddenly deep and serious words had come from. Somehow, they had just spilled out. But I didn't regret saying them. After this week, after this night, he deserved to hear this. It was time someone told him that he was the good guy - a jackass, but still a good guy. Most of the time.

Logan looked like he was frozen in time, staring at me out of wide, stunned eyes - again - and I had to smile. It sure was a cute view. Perhaps I should aim to stun him more times from now on.

"Ronnie... I... I..." he stammered.

I laughed quietly. "May, may, Logan Echolls stunned into wordlessness... and that for the second time in one night. Quick, lets alert the news. You call Letterman, I'll go inform the hounds still camped out in front of your house," I said lightly, deciding to help him out. If anything, sarcasm should do the trick.

It did. His eyes focused, narrowed. "You're just a canon ball today, Mars," he grumbled.

"I do my best," I smiled.

"I've noticed," Logan remarked dryly and tightened his hold around my waist as he nuzzled my neck. "And yet I'm head over heels in love with you," he whispered casually into my ear.

My breath stopped and my heart came to rest for a moment as well before it started to beat again fast and with a big jump and it was my turn to freeze.

He... he... _what_?

He smiled, his eyes serious. "I know this is coming a bit fast. Technically, we just got together a few hours ago. But still, I am. I dunno... Time somehow is screwed up right now." He shrugged and smiled apologetically at me. "And I sure didn't want to dump that on you so soon - but if you go and say such things like you've just said, then you can hardly blame me for needing to tell you that I'm in love with you, Veronica Mars."

Oh. My. God.

I heard right, didn't I? He really...

Wow.

Wow.

This... this was just...

Wow...

God, this was - big. So very big. And yet...

Sure, I was stunned, but strangely, I wasn't panicking. Shouldn't I panic? I mean, jeez, we just got together what? Two, three hours ago? And now... now he was telling me that he... Wow... But nope... no panic whatsoever. No words either, but definitely no panic. While I wasn't as far as him yet, I understood what he had meant with the time.

It was so what of screwed right now. Ever since my dad's death, it felt like time went by with lightening speed. An hour felt like a day, a day felt like a month in minimum and a week... yeah well, it sure felt a lot longer than merely a week and I knew that in the past days, I've done a lot of growing up.

Death will do that.

Last year, when Lilly had died, it had been the same. Well, perhaps not quite in the same expanse but the moment my eyes had fallen onto her dead body and I had realized that my best friend was gone forever, ripped out of life violently, my days of childhood had been over from one second to the other. Okay, I was sixteen, but you know how a normal, sixteen years old American teenager is: perhaps not a child per se anymore but definitely not grown up either yet, still naive, still innocent. With Lilly's death, I had lost that. And Logan and Duncan had as well.

"Hey... you're not in shock now, are you? 'Cause I got to warn you, I fear my CPR is a bit rusty."

"I'll see to it that I won't be in need of CPR with only you around then," I finally found something to say, even if it was a bit shaky. But hell, you don't hear your archenemy declaring to be in love with you everyday. "And in order to help me do that, you better stop to drop bombs like that on me," I chided him slightly.

He had the nerve to shrug. "You're one to talk."

"Well, to quote a well used cliché: a girl has to do what a girl has to do," I retorted and snuggled more into his side, if that was possibly, before looking up, serious. I still had no idea what to say but sometimes, even I let just my heart or instinct or whatsoever talk. "You should know that you saying that is big... And I feel like I should panic now. But I don't. I... I'm - happy to have you heard say that, I think. It means a lot, Logan. More than you can probably imagine. But..." And there my words trailed off and I bit my lip.

His fingers absentmindedly playing with my hair, Logan smiled. "Hey, you don't have to say anything, okay? That not what I expect. I just... needed you to know. Where I stand. That this is serious and not some fluke, no matter how little time has passed yet." He took a deep breath and sent me a nervous smile. "Then again, considering that I'm into you since I saw you in that socker uniform when I was twelve..." he shook his head and his smile grew less nervous and definitely more dirty. "Man those socks... they really totally did it, Mars."

I lightly punched him, grimacing - and having a hard time to keep a grin off my face. "That is so sick."

Logan shook his head, holding up a finger. "Uh-uh. Not sick at all. Totally normal for a hot-blooded, hormone ridden twelve years old boy. Now if I'd ask you if you still have that socker uniform and those little white socks..."

"Logan!" I protested and punched him again.

"What?" he asked innocently.

Not able to hold back the laughter any longer, I chuckled and settled back, extremely comfortable in his arms. With a sigh, I closed my eyes. "I missed this," I eventually said quietly.

"Me too," Logan answered equally quiet, his hand slowly stroking up my arms. "Though this is much better than even way before."

I smiled. "Mhmm..."

Sleep was creeping up on me, the long day finally wearing me down. And strangely enough, I was welcoming the sleep.

"Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks. For this past week. For today. For tonight. For this. Thanks," I whispered, hoping that my voice carried the deep gratitude and serious I was feeling.

I felt the back of his fingers stroke over my cheek. "No need to and anytime, Ronnie," he whispered back, as serious.

Content, I smiled, ready to give in to sleep now.

But Logan's next words kind of brought me back a little again. "Want us to sleep here on the couch or should I carry you to one of the other shoebox rooms, that is, if there are more, which I assume? Just like those heroes in the romance novels you liked to read secretively, back in Junior High."

My eyes flew open and I stared up at him, wide-eyed.

Unfazed, the jackass smirked, nodding knowingly. "Yeah, I know what you've hid behind your chemistry book," he told me, grinning mockingly at me when I nearly sputtered at him. How the hell did he know that?

As if having read my thoughts, he laughed. "No chemistry book could be that interesting, Ronnie, even for weird bookworms like you. Not to mention that I saw you blush a few times when you've read in it. That sure picked my curiosity. So one fine day, when you had cheerleading training, I took it upon myself to find out just what was so fascinating about that chemistry book." He shook his head. "It was quite a surprise as well as a slight shock to open that famous book and read about Hugh doing really dirty things to Rowena. How very naughty of you, Veronica Mars!"

I still stared at him, flabbergasted, beet red and at a total loss of words. Again. This was really getting ridiculous.

The smirk on Logan's face grew as he stubbed my nose. "I gotta say, I saw you in a whole new light after that."

There was a flicker of a memory and I narrowed my eyes at him. "I guess that explains all those weird comments you sent my way for a while, back in seventh grade."

For weeks, Logan would smirk and give me meaningful, long looks, making innuendos that weren't really openly dirty - but they felt dirty. It had confused the heck out of me and I'm ashamed to admit, it got as far as that he had just to come join us and I'd have already turned deep red. I had the hardest time back then to convince Lilly and Duncan that I wasn't suddenly into Logan. The comments had only stopped after Logan and Lilly hitched it up for the first time of many times a while later.

"Ah, the good old times..." Logan sighed. "What a fun I had to get you to blush with those references to the books you've read - my only regret was that you never figured out just what I was referring to."

"Yeah well, how should I have known that you'd ever peek into a chemistry book, Echolls?" I grumbled, glaring at him.

Quickly, Logan held up his hand, palm facing me. "Only into yours, Ronnie, only into yours," he swore smugly.

"You better haven't told anyone about that," I muttered darkly.

"Nope, it was always my little secret," Logan assured me. "Besides, who'd have believed me? Saint, virginal Veronica Mars and some of the heaviest romance novels there are? Not in a million years!"

"You should be glad about that, otherwise I'd have to seriously hurt you now," I told him annoyed then frowned. "Lilly would have believed you."

Logan nodded. "Probably, but then I would have had to admit that I've taken more than just a little peek at those books of yours. And that was the last thing I wanted Lilly to know," he explained, grinning dirtily.

Interested, I raised an eyebrow. "More than just a peek, huh? Just how much did you read?"

He wriggled his eyebrows at me. "Let's just say that my buddies were very duped why I suddenly preferred to stick my nose into a chemistry book instead of trying to get a peek at your cheerleading trainings."

My other eyebrow shot up as well. "Seriously?"

Logan shrugged. "What can I say? Those tales about Ayla and Jondalar just were too good to pass up on them. Alone that mammoth scene gave me some very sweaty nights. Not to mention all those things I've learned," he said with a leery sigh.

And the worst of it all? The jackass didn't even blush and was his cool self while I, bad-ass amateur P.I., was deeply blushing - again. Argh! That wasn't fair! So I gave him the death glare he deserved.

Not that he seemed to be impressed by it. Instead, he had the nerve to laugh. "Oh come on, Ronnie. You can't tell me that you'd expect me to be shy about those books."

Perhaps not shy, but still...

But first things first. "I just say that no one will better ever hear of this or you'll have to go back to those books because that's the only way you get close to sex again. After I told those buddies of yours of you and a certain fixation on a charming little teenage witch and that closet full of Sabrina merchandises. Not to mention your poster collection of Melissa Joan Hart."

His smirk died and he eyed me suspiciously. It was my turn to grin smugly.

"You wouldn't..."

"Oh, I would," I assured him, smirking at him.

He eyed me for a moment longer before he grudgingly nodded. "Wasn't going to tell anyone else anyway."

"Good," I nodded and entangled myself from him to stand up. "Now back to the original question: I guess we'll be more comfortable in my room."

His eyes sparkling mischievously and delighted, he bowed. "Lead the way."

I rolled my eyes and turned to head over to my room. Sometimes I really wondered why I ever befriended Logan in the first place. And now I had even taken him as my boyfriend? Was I totally out of my mind?

I passed Dad's room and my eyes fell onto his bed, still ruffled from the last night he had slept in, the shirt he had been sleeping it carelessly thrown on top of it. It looked like he'd come back in any moment now. I stopped abruptly and stared at his bed. Million times Mom and I had told him to make his bed. But he had always shaken his head and countered that he didn't see the sense in wasting his time for that when only a few hours later he'd sleep in it again anyway, time he'd rather spent with his two favorite ladies. He'd give us each a kiss and would go away, to work, to a morning jog, to garden, something like that. Yeah, just like always.

Only this time, he wouldn't come back.

Like a sledgehammer reality slammed into me and I gave a silent sob, my heart clenching at the overwhelming pain surfacing again.

_Daddy..._

Next thing I knew, my face was pressed against a warm, solid chest and a hand was soothingly stroking over my hair while the other arm was holding me firmly. He said nothing, just held me, and again, that was enough. I put my arms around his neck and buried my face into his chest and cried. Simply cried.

At one point Logan must have pulled me into my room because the next thing I grew aware of was the bed slightly rocking as we laid down and his arms pulled me against his body once again, spooning me.

And finally I fell asleep to his gentle, soothing strokes, my eyes and chest burning.

* * *

The next morning, I was a little confused after waking up. Sure, for the last week, I had become accustomed to wake up in Logan's arms. But this time I instinctively knew that I wasn't over at Logan's but at home and I certainly wasn't accustomed to wake up in Logan's arms in my room, my bed. Interestingly, it may have felt strange - but it definitely did not feel wrong.

He was, after all, my boyfriend now, wasn't he?

Holy shit! My boyfriend. Logan Echolls was my boyfriend! Was in love with me...

Boy, the universe really liked to laugh at me, didn't it? Me ending up with Logan as my boyfriend. Still... I still didn't regret anything. If anything, I was happy about this development.

And I was going to miss this, waking up like that, in the arms of my boyfriend.

Contrary to Logan I doubted that we would be able to manage to keep spending the nights together, once the Kanes had settled me in in their house, despite how much I wanted to hope that we indeed did find a way to sneak around the Kanes and his parents like that. But I was the realistic type and so couldn't quite believe it. Maybe we could sneak around a night here and there, but every night?

On the other hand, Logan had said that he knew all the secret ways into the Kane mansion. Knowing him, it was possible that he hadn't exaggerated. After all, he was Duncan's best friend, he had been Lilly's boyfriend for two years and Heaven knew that Logan was sneaky enough to pull it off. So perhaps I should just trust his word. Besides, we'd see that night if he really was such an expert on getting into the Kane mansion, I guessed.

I turned my head to look at Logan and was surprised to see him still sleeping deeply, one of his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. For the past week, Logan had always been the first to wake up. Then again, usually he had to wake me up from a nightmare. Not that morning though. Strangely, I had slept peacefully this time. I wasn't sure if this was because I was back home, sleeping in my own bed, or if it was because after the happenings of the last night, I felt even safer in Logan's arms than only the night before. Or perhaps it was the combination of it both. Whatever it was, I was immensely glad for it.

Letting my head sink down onto the cushion again, I lay still and enjoyed the peacefulness of the moment.

Who knew when I'd get another chance to feel so safe again.

I dreaded to go to the Kane's. I didn't want to. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure that there was no way around it. I had already experienced in the first place just how powerful Jake Kane was. What he wanted, he'd get, at least here in Neptune. Right now, he was adamant to take care of me and in order to that, he wanted me to live with him now.

Why on Earth?

So okay, he was the one who impregnated Mom seventeen years ago and had fathered me. But he had been married back then, had a new baby with another one on the way and Mom had Dad. So they had agreed on keeping it a secret and not make sure just who exactly was the one who had fathered me and Dad had been my father in every sense of the word, had brought me up. Now Mom was gone and Dad was dead. Theoretically, I could understand why Jake found it his duty to look after me now - only after having made sure that I really was his daughter of course - but why like this? He could have kept this under the wrap, secretively supporting me with money or something like that while I lived with Sam. It was what I'd have expected him to do. Instead, he did this the complete illogical way, exposing himself and his family to quite a scandal by openly acknowledging me as his daughter and bringing me into his household, his family.

Why?

Somehow, I doubted it was because he was suddenly feeling fatherly towards me. For that he had waited too damn long to acknowledge this. If Dad hadn't died I doubted he would ever had bothered to do a paternity test. Not to mention that he let his son date me, well knowing that I might be Duncan's half sister.

So why?

Did he do it to keep me silent? Abel Koontz and Clarence Wiedman knew that I was investigating in Lilly's case. If Abel had sung, which I assumed, they also knew that I knew that Lilly hadn't died at the official time of death but in fact hours later and that the evidence to convict Koontz had been planted. Perhaps even figured out that I also knew that Clarence Wiedman had in fact gave Lamb the tip about Koontz. Bringing me into his household was an excellent way to keep an eye on me. In time, he perhaps would even threat me to refuse paying for college if I didn't stop to find Lilly's real killer. Now that it would get public that I was in fact Jake Kane's daughter, billionaire, I'd never get a stipendium. Never. And though I had saved quite some money over the past years, it was no where enough to pay for college without a stipendium.

Yeah, that was possible. It would explain this. But was Jake really that ruthless? First kill his own daughter, pay a man to confess for that crime, run the man who was likeably raising his own daughter out of his job to then blackmail me to keep all this secret? Not that I would be blackmailed like that. Nothing was going to stop me from finding Lilly's killer and bring him down, hard. But still... truth be told: I had a hard time believing that Jake could really have killed Lilly. Before I started the investigation, I even had thought it impossible. I was more open now, or more unsure, depended on the way one looked at it. Basically, I thought Jake was an okay guy. As Lilly's best friend, I had always liked him. Ever since I can remember Jake Kane had always been nice to me. He had smiled at me and always had some nice words for me when we've met. I always had liked when Jake was occasionally the one who brought us kids somewhere or picked us up. He often had a joke to share and his behavior had always been decent. I never had the feeling that I was unwelcome with him. On the other hand, he was a billionaire, had worked hard to get where he was now, valued his good reputation. People working for him mostly were content, at least I hardly had found any bad feelings when I had looked up the history of Kane's Software, checking if an old employee may have had a grudge against Jake and could have killed Lilly for revenge. Yet, to get where he was now, one had to be at least a bit ruthless. After all, it was Jake Kane who brought a man like Clarence Wiedman, ex CIA, into his firm and let him do the dirty work for him. Wiedman was good, very good. So who knew what had all happened under the wrap.

The Kanes had covered up for Lilly's murder and the only reason for that that I could think of was that one of them had something to do with it.

Yet, I really didn't see Jake as Lilly's killer. I've seen his grieve, a grieve that was honest, I think. Jake had his faults. He was an adulterer, was weak in certain areas, let Celeste decide a bit too many things and he expected much of his children, applied always pressure on them. More on Duncan than on Lilly, but Lilly too had suffered partly under his high expectations. And obviously, he cared little about what they wanted, believing that only he knew what was best for them. But he had loved Lilly. Of that I'm sure. She herself had always said that Jake wasn't that bad a father, that generally, they've gotten along quite well. No, I really couldn't see him as her murderer.

It could have been Celeste though. Of all the three remaining Kanes, I thought it was most likely that she could have been able to kill Lilly. She hated scandals, did everything to prevent them, even if it meant letting her precious son date his possible sister. Who knew, perhaps if Lilly had done something, if her big secret was something really scandalous, Celeste could have lost it and killed Lilly in the heat of the moment. And then called Wiedman. After all, I knew that she ordered him around as well, the pictures of me with a target drawn over my face proof of that. Or Jake could have called him in for help. Besides, Celeste and Lilly really had a bad relationship with each other, especially as Celeste clearly favored Duncan. I knew that, Lilly had complained often enough about it and I've seen and heard it with my own eyes as well. Yeah, if anyone, I think Celeste could have done it.

Or Duncan. God. It couldn't have been Duncan. It just couldn't.

Of all the Kanes, I know only of him absolutely positively that he had loved Lilly. Truly had loved her. He and Lilly had gotten along pretty well, had spent much time with each other which wasn't as normal for siblings. Of course it surely also had to do that I as Lilly's best friend was as well a year younger than her, just like Duncan. Not to mention that the same went for Logan as well. She had had friends her own age, but not very close ones. Not ones she had trusted. Lilly had often called Duncan a dork, had made fun of him, had stated more than once just how boring she thought it was - but she had loved him, had always stood on his side if the shit hit the fan. Well, with one exception: when he had broken up with me without any reason. Then she had been totally on my side, first trying to get him to take me back - and then, when she had changed her mind, declared that I was better off without him anyway. I'm sure now that somehow, Duncan and then she must have gotten wind of the possibility that I was in fact their half sister. But there had been no hard feeling because of his break-up with me, I also knew that. And Duncan... he had often disapproved of Lilly's - openness and cocky ways. Had frowned at quite some of her adventures and actions. But he had loved her anyway, had backed her up all the times and had looked out for her more than once.

I just couldn't imagine one single reason why he could have ever killed Lilly.

But then... I also knew that if the Kanes went to all that trouble to cover up Lilly's murder, then there was no better explanation than that they covered up for Duncan. It would also explain why his parents were still together, played the happy couple. Somehow, I doubted that they loved each other so much that they could forgive each other the murder of their own daughter. Perhaps Celeste Jake, but Jake Celeste? But Duncan... for him they would do anything, of that I was sure as well. Plus, I couldn't deny the fact that Duncan had his weaknesses. And that sometimes, he acted weird, atypical. So, was it possible that it really had been Duncan after all?

I sighed. I sure as hell hoped not. It was bad enough that I had been in love with my own brother, had kissed him, had let him touch me places where no brother should ever touch his sister. I still had no idea how I was supposed to deal with that, ever, but especially now that I was being forced to live with him. And now thinking it possible that he had killed Lilly on top of that? Shit, I was going to go crazy.

Logan's arm around me tightened and I felt him stir behind me. Again, I looked back and sure enough, Logan slowly opened his eyes and blinked, not quite awake yet. I watched with a smile as he grew aware of the unfamiliar surroundings and a frown appeared between his eyes. Turning all the way around, now that his hold on me had lightened up a little, I propped my head up on my elbow. "Morning sleepy-head."

His eyes cleared a little when he focused them on me, a grin already forming on his face. "You - my girlfriend," he stated, his grin widening.

I laughed and nodded. "I believe that's the rumor, yeah."

He didn't waste anymore time and simply reached up to pull my face over to him, giving me one hell of a morning kiss.

"Now, if this isn't the best morning I had in a long time," Logan sighed contently, once he let go of my lips.

"Hmm, not bad," I agreed wholeheartedly.

He reached up again to capture my lips for another kiss, deepening it with each millisecond that passed. When I let out a little moan, he flipped us over. He hadn't counted with my water bed though and the momentum of the flip over caused the bed to swap big time, so much that Logan, caught by surprise, lost his balance and promptly fell sideward, right over the edge and landed with a loud plumps on the floor of my bedroom where he sat and looked duped for a moment, rubbing his head.

The extremely mature girl I am, I of course nearly laughed my head off. Flipping onto the stomach, I rested my chin on my crossed hands and peered down at Logan over the edge of my water bed.

"Oh yeah, definitely a very good morning," I managed to get out between my fits of laughter. But really, it was just too much of a comical scene. "Hmm, not exactly very Hugh like though."

Having gotten his bearings back, Logan glared up at me. "Ha, ha, very funny."

"You say it," I nodded eagerly and yeah, I admit it, I shamelessly giggled. I wasn't a giggler. Not anymore. But I just couldn't help myself. If you'd seen his face when he went over the edge, you'd be giggling too, no matter what a badass you are otherwise, I'm sure of that.

"Glad to have made you happy," Logan grumbled, getting up.

Looking up at him, I smirked. "I appreciate the effort you go to to make me laugh," I told him, trying to keep a straight face, failing miserably at it though.

Rubbing the back of his head once again, he let out a low growl as he stared at the water bed. "Why do you have a stupid water bed anyway? That's so ninety. I mean, yeah, you wanted one of these way back but really, one shouldn't fulfill actually each childhood dream."

I sat up and smoothed over the surface, enjoying the feel of the soft waves beneath me. "It was only 10 bucks."

"That's ten bucks too much," Logan muttered.

I smiled, moving to cause another wave of waves. "Dad bought it for me as a surprise. He knew I always had wanted one when I was little and when he saw it, saw that it was only 10 bucks, he bought it right away." The memory hurt, but I felt my smile grow anyway. "You should have seen how excited he had been when I came home and he couldn't wait for me to see it. Like a little boy on Christmas."

With a sigh, Logan moved closer and stroked a strand of hair out of my face. "And now I guess I have to see how I get my foot out of my mouth. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "You don't have to be," I said quietly, then grinned. "But I fear you'll have to start practice how to behave on a water bed, 'cause as you know now, this bed and I go a long way back." A thought occurred to me and my smile turned sardonically. "Oh, Celeste will love it when I move in with this bed in tow."

At that, Logan started to grin maliciously as well. "You've got to promise me to make sure I'm there when you tell her that it's from some garage sale and only cost 10 dollars. She might even suffer a small heart attack at the thought of something like that being under her precious roof."

"I promise," I assured him with a nod. "And I also promise that you'll be there when she'll find her most expensive shoes chewed off, her favorite table cloth shred to pieces, of course when the fine crystal was on it, her purse full of drool and a nice little buddle on her Venetian marble floor."

His eyebrows shot up. "You going to send Back-Up into war?"

"You bet I am," I nodded and I felt my eyes narrow. "I still owe her for a few things." Most of all her chasing away Mom. Oh yeah, while being forced to live with them I'd make sure to make Celeste's life as difficult as possible.

"Oh, yippie!" Logan exclaimed excitedly, clapping into his hand. "Just for that alone I'd fall madly in love with you all over again, Cuteypie! I can't wait for it! Hell, who knows, this way I perhaps will have even fun hanging around the Kane mansion again."

Chuckling, I got up and stood on my tip-toes to give him a quick kiss. "Then I better don't tell you what I have in mind for her collection of porcelain puppets," I teased him. "You may not survive the excitement of the anticipation."

Thus said I escaped his arms and left my room, heading towards the bathroom.

"Hey! You can't tease me like that and then just stop!" Logan protested, following me. "That's not fair, Mars."

I looked back at him and sneered. "First, life's not fair and second, oh yeah, baby, I can." Having said that, I hurried to get inside the bathroom and lock the door, leaning against it.

Outside, Logan kicked against the door once. "Just remember Mars: Just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I won't get even with you. You will pay for that one, Ronnie. And then _I_'ll have my fun."

I heard him moving past the door and sighed, not stopping to grin though.

Bring it on, Echolls, just bring it on.

* * *

The most unusual sight awaited me when I left the bathroom, such amazing that I tiptoed back to my room to get my camera to then hurry back and take a picture of the unsuspecting Logan, standing at the shove and making eggs and bacon, if my nose didn't betray me.

At the soft 'click', he looked up. "What are you doing?"

"Getting evidence," I answered, taking another picture. "Otherwise no one will ever believe me this. Who'd have thought that Logan Echolls, carrier of a golden spoon and always having had servants doing everything for him, actually knows how a shove functions." I took another one, then put the camera aside and walked over, stealing a piece of bacon. "And even more shockingly: even seems to know how to cook. These pictures could be worth serious money."

"Didn't we have this conversation already back in junior high? You know I can cook. We were in the same cooking class as I'm pretty sure you remember only too well," Logan lectured me, giving me a look. "You're the one who managed to burn everything from milk, over eggs to steaks."

"That were potatoes and it only happened once!" I protested, trying to steal another piece of the bacon.

Logan slapped my hand away and turned towards me, crossing his arms. "Yeah? And what about the time you invited us for a western evening, including a real western dinner with steaks and beans? What did we end up eating?"

I chose to only glare.

"That's right: Nachos and burritos from the next Mexican delivery," Logan nodded and tended to the eggs. "Face it: the only thing you can do in a kitchen is bake. And while the taste there is always formidable, your goodies would never win a competition."

"And yet you wolfed my cookies and cakes down like someone who hadn't eaten in three days," I pointed out and reached up to get some plates. "From where did you get the eggs and the bacon anyway?"

"Was still in the refrigerator and amazingly not yet past the expiry date," Logan answered simply, putting another load of bacon into the pan.

"Right, I should probably clean it out before we leave," I remembered and sighed, looking around. "Guess I have to pack together a few things I want to take with me to the Kanes anyway," I said quietly, getting that tightening pressure on my chest again. "And Dad's things. I... I need to wrap them up, sort them out."

I felt Logan's eyes on me. "The apartment is paid until the end of the month, right?"

I nodded.

"Then you don't have to do this right away. Take a few days, Ronnie," he said gently. "In fact, you don't have to do it at all, if you want. I can organize a cleaning service for the bigger things. And the rest could I and Wallace do, if you prefer. You really don't have to do this."

Again, I looked over the apartment. I wasn't sure how I wanted to handle this ultimately. But in one thing he had been right. It didn't need to be decided and done right away. "I'll think about it."

Right now, I was busy enough having to face the Kanes.

The ringing of the phone broke through the silence. Hesitating only shortly, I went over to pick it up, having a hunch who it was.

"Where the hell are you?"

"Sam," I sighed and shook my head. "You know you called on the land line, yeah? So you know now where I am."

"Don't get perky, Veronica," Sam warned me.

I grimaced. Veronica. That wasn't good. I had called him yesterday with Logan's cell phone, but only to tell him that I was all right and that I'd be back the next day. Then I had hung up and turned off the phone, never giving him a chance to respond. Dad would have been spitting mad. And so was Sam, I guessed. Time to apologize. "I'm sorry Sam. But I... I couldn't go back last night. Jake probably would have insisted on me going with him and I just wasn't ready for that. Not last night. I'm still not ready but if I have no way to get out of it, I'll manage now. I just needed time, Sam. Time away from everything."

There was a moment of silence, then Sam sighed. "It's not that I don't understand that, Ronica. But I don't like it when you ran off like that. And never hang up on me like that again, Veronica, I don't appreciate this and I won't tolerate it. But most of all, I don't like the thought of you being out there, alone and unprotected. We still don't know why Keith was killed, Ronica. You still could be a target as well."

I looked out of the window. "I'm not alone Sam. Logan's with me."

"And that's supposed to reassure me how?" Sam asked sarcastically.

I glanced over at Logan and met his eyes. "He's making sure I'm alright, Sam. Besides, I don't think I'm a target as well. It's been a week now. If Dad's killer had wanted me dead as well, I'd probably be already dead, getting us both at the same time or at least come after me sooner."

"True, but that's still no guarantee. Remember, ever since it happened you were mostly hauled up in the Echolls mansion and if one thing, they have a pretty tight security, especially since the stabbing of Logan's father. Certainly enough to keep most killers away," Sam though contradicted me. "Your place doesn't offer that security. You don't even have Back-Up with you."

Shit! Back-Up! I had totally forgotten about him! "Look Sam, can we talk about that later? I need to get back anyway. I bet Back-Up is already scaring the housemaids."

Sam sighed. "After your call last night I went back to get him. He's sleeping and drooling on my car seat right now."

Oh... good. "Thanks," I said earnestly. "Sam? Did you talk with Cliff? Is there anything we can do about Jake's claim?"

He took his time answering. "Yeah, we talked. But I fear there's no way around for you to have to go to Jake Kane at least for the time being. His legal documents are proper. The only thing we can do is going to court, pleading that your dad's last wishes should be respected and that I have way more rights to take care of you than Mr Kane. And that's just what we'll do, Kitten."

Just like I had thought. Sighing deeply, I sat down onto one of the bar chairs at the kitchen counter. "It will be to no use, you know that, Sam. No one will be going to risk to get Jake Kane on his bad side. He practically owns Neptune. You know what happened to Dad. So... perhaps it's for the best if you just let it be, Sam."

"I made a promise to your father, Ronica," Sam though said tightly. "I promised that I would look out for you, take care of you, should he ever be unable to do so. Your dad gave me your guardianship. That was his last will. Certainly not for you to end up in Jake Kane's hands, of all people. No. I'll do whatever it takes to keep my promises, Kitten. It's the least I owe to Keith."

I swallowed and looked down. "Sam... be reasonable. A process will cost a small fortune and most of all, it will take time. I'll turn eighteen this summer. Half a year. I don't like this either, Sam, but I'll deal. seven months are over soon. Save your money, Sam. Save your reputation. It's not worth it. You, you better concentrate on finding out who did this to Dad."

Sam remained stubborn though. "I promised, Ronica. I've always held my word. I won't start breaking it now of all the times."

"You promised to take care of me and to look out for me. That's what you are doing. You don't need to be my legal guardian for that," I still tried to reason with him.

"I'll do what I'll have to do and let's leave it with that," Sam told me firmly. "Now, when will you be back?" He sighed. "Kane's growing impatient. He's keeping getting on my nerves."

I looked over at Logan, who was silently listening while piling up scrambled eggs and bacon onto the plates I'd gotten out earlier. "We're having breakfast right now. Then I'll need to pack a few things for Back-Up and me. After that we'll return to Logan's, get my things." I made a resigned face. "Tell Jake Logan will bring me over to them sometime in the afternoon."

"I can bring you," Sam offered, his teeth gritting. He really didn't like me having to go to the Kanes. Well, that made two of us.

"No, that's fine. I'd rather have Logan brings me. All my things will be in his truck anyway." Logan put the plates onto the counter and sat down, facing me.

"Ronica, I really think you and that boy should take some time apart. I understand that he had been a big help for you, this past week, but you two were practically glued together all this time. That's not healthy. And I don't trust him. He has hurt you before," Sam said slowly, seriously.

I frowned. "But I trust him and that's all that matters. So please, leave him alone," I retorted tensely. "Besides, now that I have to move in with the Kanes we'll be apart enough."

"Just be careful, Kitten," Sam sighed, displeased. "And call me once you're at the Kanes. I'll bring Back-Up by then. And I think I'll have a brief talk with Mr Kane."

"You should been the one to be careful then. But I'll call you," I promised. "Bye," I said and hung up after he said his goodbyes as well.

Okay. So far so good.

"Your human pit-pull still doesn't like me much, huh?" Logan commented, looking at me over a fork full of scrambled eggs.

"No," I sighed and grabbed my fork to delve into the food. "Can't forget the past."

"I begin to see why you wanted to keep our relationship secret. Your friends are not going to make this easy for us, won't they?" Logan asked, looking down.

"No," I repeated, shaking my head. "But let's face it: your friends won't be happy about us either. A lot of them were only too happy when you and Duncan shunned me from your lives and they finally could go loose on me."

Logan looked up, frowning. "Don't worry about them. If they know about us or not, I'll make sure they know that no matter what, we're back to friends. I won't let them treat you like they have."

I went for the bacon next. "That's not necessary. I don't care about Dick and the guys. I never have much and I probably won't ever. The only ones that were important to me were you, Lilly and Duncan. And Meg was a friend as well, but I don't worry about her. We're still good." I nibbled at my bacon and looked at him, hesitating. In the end, I put down my fork and turned my whole attention to Logan. "Logan... What about Duncan?" I asked quietly.

He glanced at me, his face unreadable. "What about him?"

But I wasn't having that. "Logan."

With a sigh, he put his fork down as well and met my eyes. "What Ronnie? What about him?"

"How do you want to handle this?" I asked softly. This was his call. Not just because I sure as hell had no idea what to do about Duncan - but he was Logan's best friend. It was Logan who knew him best and he who owed Duncan even more of an explanation or whatever than me.

He looked away. "I don't know." His eyes looked back at me. "He's not going to like it, one way or another."

I frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, it's not like he and I..." My voice trailed off as I was feeling slightly sick even thinking about it.

Logan laughed sarcastically, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter. He loves you. Long before you turned out to be his half sister. You're his ex foremost and I'm his best friend. And I moved in onto his territory. There's no way around that."

My frown deepened. "I'm not a bone over which you two dogs can fight. Plus, if I remember correctly, _I_ made a move on _you_, not the other way around."

He smiled warmly, even if it didn't reach his eyes. "You sure did, but that doesn't matter, Ronnie. You're my best friend's ex-girlfriend who he's still hung up on. That makes you taboo. You know that, Ronnie. You know the rules."

Of course I knew the rules. He was my best friend's ex as well after all. But then, Lilly was dead. Besides, I had a feeling that Lilly would have been elated about Logan and I hooking up - as long as that we let enough time pass between their final break-up. I shook my head. "It's still ridiculous. Let's forget for a moment that he and I are blood related: He and I are over for fifteen months now. He broke up with me. He treated me like air, like we never knew each other. For that alone, he lost every rights of any claim whatsoever, let alone to judge who I'm going out with."

Again, Logan shook his head. "He's not going to see it like that."

"But why?" I asked, shaking my head. "Okay, so perhaps I wouldn't like to see him dating Wallace either but with time, I'd grew accustomed to it and it wouldn't bother me."

"Duncan and Wallace? You know something I don't?" Logan chuckled, smirking.

"Not the point, Logan! You know what I mean. Duncan and I are over. He has moved on, I have moved on," I pointed out.

"Correction Mars: He had plenty of dates and sex, but never moved on. And he didn't like you seeing with that idiot Vandegraff either. Him jumping off a bleacher should have clued you in on that little fact," Logan contradicted, giving me a poignant look.

I looked away, biting my lips. I wasn't sure why I got so riled up about this. Perhaps because I didn't like the idea either that I had suddenly gotten between Logan and Duncan. I didn't want to come between two best friends. I knew how much Duncan meant to Logan, knew how much Logan meant to Duncan. I really didn't want to be responsible for any bad blood between them. And that was what I was afraid of: Them having a fall out because of me. Or even worse, loose their friendship. But just because of them being so close friends I believed that Duncan would be okay with me and Logan in the end.

Slowly, I looked back at Logan, who had resumed his eating. He seemed so unworried about the whole thing. But I knew better. The muscles in his neck and shoulders were tense and there was this slightly hard gleam in his eyes. "Logan... if... if you really think Duncan will hate this so much and be angry with you like that, then..." I stopped, unsure. I wanted Logan, wanted us to be together. But... if it cost him so much...

His head shot up and he narrowed his eyes. "Oh no. No, Ronnie. I'm not letting you go, not again. I can't help that I've fallen in love with you, out of all people. If Duncan has a problem with that, then it's his problem," he said, firmly.

My heart lifted. "You sure about that?"

"Definitely," he nodded and gave me a long look. "But what about you? Are you sure?"

Confused, I frowned at him. What did he mean? Of course I was sure. I saw something in his eyes and suddenly, it made click. Oh... I almost smiled but held it back. Logan needed to see how very serious I was about this, even if I wasn't ready yet to make any declarations. "Logan, there's something you should know: Even if Duncan and I aren't related - there's no way he and I could ever be a couple again. Not just because of how much he has hurt me, the way he had erased me out of his life." I had his full attention and suddenly nervous, I took a deep breath. "The girl I was before Lilly's death was perfect for Duncan. He was perfect for me. But I'm not that girl anymore. I'm worlds away from that girl and that's nothing I regret. I like being this new self, most of the time. And I don't say that Duncan means nothing to me anymore. He was my first love after all. But who I am now and Duncan could never work." I shook my head. "We have all changed, but I think, from the three of us, Duncan's the one who is the most like he used to be. Half of the time, he would have kittens about the things I use to do now and be uncomfortable about the way I act sometimes nowadays." I shrugged. "Ever since beginning of this year, he's got to be more like himself and yeah, he and I got friendlier again. We've reached a level where he at least acknowledges me again. Sometimes we even act like friends again."

"I've noticed," Logan nodded, his eyes never leaving mine.

"And I bet you didn't like it, did you?" I asked, smiling. "But thing is, I have the feeling that he..."

"Doesn't see you like you are now? Only wants to see the old Veronica?" Logan finished knowingly. "You'd be right with that one. Mostly. Even he had to admit that you've changed. He's still good at ignoring it though."

"Exactly," I nodded and took a closer look at him. "You never did that," I stated, only realizing this now. "Even when you hated me, you noticed even a slight change right away."

At that, he shrugged. "To be fair, I wasn't as close to you as Duncan. But the way you've changed was hard to miss." He shook his head and smiled. "It's not quite true anyway. I too made the blunder to mistake you for your old elf, even if I knew you had changed. I never expected that bong, for example, simply because the old Veronica would never have had that in herself. Nor did I give you all that P.I. stuff, even when the evidence of your skills there bit me in my ass. It was only on Christmas when I grew fully aware of just how deep that change goes, at least concerning some aspects." He narrowed his eyes. "But then again, I also think you've held out on us, Ronnie. You had more of the way you are now in you than I and Duncan could have ever imagined. I think only Lilly knew what really laid slumbering beneath that innocent shell."

"Perhaps," I smiled. "She said I was red satin."

Logan grinned dirtily. "Oh yeah."

"Get your mind out of the gutter," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that Duncan and I are the past, simply because we wouldn't fit anymore. You though - it's crazy and I think the cosmos is shaking with laughter right now, but somehow, you and I fit. It feels so right to be with you. But I know how much Duncan means to you. Or you to him for that matter. And the least I want to do is come between you and him. I want this, us, though, more than I thought I ever would."

"That's good because I have no intention whatsoever to give this up, just because Duncan may be prissy about it. He's not going to like it, I know that, always knew it. But I hope he'll come by in the end. And if not..." Logan shook his head. "It's not like it used to be between me and Duncan. We drifted apart, Ronnie, ever since Lilly's death. He turned into himself, was a shell of what he used to be, never going anywhere anymore unless you dragged him with you. We're still best friends but frankly said, we had our problems lately. He's come back to himself and I'm glad about that but we're still not as close as we used to be. We had a fight before Christmas. We settled it but... it's a little tense between us right now."

This was news to me. I had noticed that Logan had hung around more with Dick Casablancas and the other guys than with Duncan - but I hadn't noticed that their friendship had hit a row path as well. "I'm sorry," I said quietly.

Logan looked away. "Yeah well, such things happen. Time will tell where we'll go from here." He looked back at me. "But I know that I won't give up on you, not even for Duncan."

I nodded, accepting his decision finally. And made an oath that I'd try to make Duncan see reason as much as I could. Logan was his best friend. If anything, Duncan should be happy for us.

"That only leaves the question if you want to tell him about us or not," I said.

For a long moment, Logan was quiet, finishing his breakfast. Finally, he shook his head. "No. I want him to hear it from us and learn about it before anyone else. That's the least he deserves." He took a deep breath. I knew that this was hard for him. Logan had his secrets, like everyone, but basically, he was an outgoing guy and no big fan of secrets. And he was an honest guy - brutally honest. No, lying to his best friend would be hard for him. "But for now, I think you're right and it's best we keep our relationship to ourselves. There's no telling what he would do if he knew. Perhaps he'd even tell his parents. I won't risk this. First, we clear him of your suspicion. And see how he's taking it, you being his half sister and the two of us being back to friends."

"Okay," I agreed without any hesitation. It was how I would have handled it as well. And now, it clearly was time for a change of subject. Picking up my fork again, I delved in into my breakfast, only realizing now just how hungry I really was. "Hmm… I must have been starving 'cause I actually find this delicious."

"Or – I'm just that good a cook," Logan offered, famous smirk back in place.

I thought about that for a moment, then shook my head and shoved another forkful into my mouth. "Nah."

* * *

While Logan was taking a shower, I started to pack up things. First, I quickly did the easy part and stashed enough clothes for at least two weeks into a big bag. Next I cleaned out the refrigerator, not that there was a lot to do. I did leave a few things in it that wouldn't go bad though. Perhaps I'd need the apartment as a hide out again until I had to turn it over. Then, the tough part already began. Picking up the personal things I didn't want to leave back in this empty apartment, not even for the few weeks I had left to clean it out. You know, all those things who have barely any material value but emotionally – they were priceless. All the many pictures, especially those of me and Dad. My babybook. The small case in which my parents had kept my first lock and the first tooth I've lost. The ugly ashtray I had made in kindergarten for Dad and which he had treated as if it were pure gold ever since then. The little blue vase my mom inherited from her grandmother and that she had loved so much, the little jewelry that she had left behind when she had left us. And of course Dad's baseball, with the signature of Terrence Cook, his absolute favorite baseball player. So many little things, and that alone in the living room.

There were still the things left in my room, many of which I didn't want to leave back – and held even more precious memories for me as each and everyone of those things were truly mine. With a heavy heart, I sighed and moved back to my room, looking around. Finally giving myself a kick, I first reached out to the little music box Mom had left me upon her leaving and quickly put it into the box. Next to it was another little box that held the collection of friendship bracelets Lilly had made for me, as well as the other jewelry I've got from friends, Duncan and relatives. Not much, but each piece meant a lot to me. And of course, there were a lot of pictures there as well that I packed, pictures of my family, of Back-Up, of Lilly, Logan and Duncan. Some of my favorite books went into another box and I pushed some music discs and DVDs into yet another one.

My eyes fell onto a little, black sculpture of a dog and a girl that I had put into the back of a corner of a shelve, piling books in front of it, not able to face it but not able to part with it either. Slowly, I reached out and took it, running my finger over the back of the dog – a bulldog, just like Back-Up. And the girl had long hair, wearing a dress. The dog was looking up at the girl and you could just see how his tail was wagging and the girl looked down at him, laughing, the love for the dog beautifully worked into the iron. It should be way too kitschy but as the sculpture was in this beautiful, black, shiny iron, the details, even the smallest, so lovingly carved out, it was really rather touching and amazingly beautiful. I loved that sculpture and it was one of the most beautiful gifts I'd ever gotten to this day. And it had been quite a surprise as well.

"I'm surprised you still have this."

Startled, I turned to see Logan standing in my door, chest naked, hair wet, his eyes staring at the sculpture in my hands, his face a mask of genuine unbelief.

I looked back at the sculpture, stroking it again. "Oh, I've thought of throwing it away when we had to move, believe me. It hurt so much to look at it and remember the things you've said during the day to me or the things you or someone else had done to me. But… I couldn't. I just couldn't." Slowly, I raised my eyes again to meet his. "No matter what, one of my best friends had given me this wonderful gift, something so thoughtful, so fitting and yet so beautiful that it had taken my breath away the first time I saw it and even now, sometimes. I was so touched and speechless when you gave it to me, Logan. And it meant so much to me. I just couldn't part with it." Boy, was I glad that I never had the guts to give it away, despite how angry I had been at myself back then for being so sentimental.

"The boy who gave it to you should have known better than to let himself rule by blind anger like he did," Logan said quietly, his voice heavy with remorse.

I sighed and moved over to him, briefly touching his hand. "Look, let's not get back into that. We've talked enough about it and have moved on. Just remember how you've scored the best Christmas gift ever when you gave it to me and how bumped Lilly was that it had even beat her present for you."

"Duncan wasn't too happy about loosing either," Logan said after a moment of standing still and regarding me, still with the sculpture in my hand.

"Only because you naturedly couldn't stop boasting about it for weeks," I told him dryly and carefully put the sculpture into one of the boxes.

"Why deny the greatness that I am?" Logan asked flippantly and looked around, briefly. "Who knew someone could stuff so many things into a tiny room like this. We'll need a truck alone for the things in here."

"Isn't it practically then that my boyfriend happens to have just such a truck with lots and lots of space?" I asked sweetly, giving him a blinding smile.

"Ah, so the truth finally comes out: you just want me for my X-Terra, don't you?" Logan countered, managing to sound heartbroken.

I laughed out loud. "Baby, if anything, your truck's a reason to break up with you."

"Hey, no insults about my beloved car!" Logan warned, giving me the evil eye.

"Why not? You insult my Le Baron every time you've got a chance," I countered, gathering together my school things.

"That doesn't count. Your car is a joke while mine..."

"Is yellow. Big and yellow and so stuffed with gismos that one could ask himself just what you are trying to compensate for with it," I finished for him, giving him back the evil eye.

His eyes narrowed and I had barely a warning before he pounced over to me and trapped me in one swift move against the door, bringing me face to face with his chest. Did I mention that his chest was naked? And did I mention that it was a very, _very_ nice chest? Jeez, he must have worked out quite a bit over the last year.

"I, my dearest Veronica, have absolutely nothing to make up for," he told me lowly, his dark brown eyes piercing me, as he leaned into me.

I mean, _lean_.

Oh boy... Nope, I guess he really didn't have any need to compensate.

"Which you, my little pixie, will learn first hand - in time," he murmured in an even deeper voice, his breath stroking over my neck, leaving my skin tingling.

Then, as soon as he had pinned me, he was suddenly gone, backing away from me. "Thanks for the warning by the way," he continued sarcastically.

Momentarily having a hard time to concentrate, I stared at him, dumbfounded. Damn girl, get a grip on yourself!

"Huh?" I think was my very eloquent response.

He smiled, the jackass probably knowing very well just how flustered he had left me here. What on Earth had I been thinking when I fell for a guy who was as sexually comfortable as one Logan Echolls was?

"About the cold water," he elaborated, his eyes narrowing.

Oh... yeah. I remembered his shriek of a while back that I had heard coming out of the shower. And smiled, glad when that memory got me back to normalcy and known ground. This, I knew how to handle. "Well, if you hadn't taken such a long shower, there would have been no need for a warning."

"Perfection takes time," Logan told me haughtily.

"You're such a girl, Echolls," I smiled amusedly.

He shrugged, unfazed. "Well, at least one of us has to be the girl."

Shaking my head, I laughed, mentally putting that one away for later use. For now, I let him have that last word and instead started to tuck the boxes I had filled with my staff.

"Hey, you've got a shirt I could borrow?" Logan asked, letting go of the teasing as well, still smiling though.

I looked up and eyes him critically. Of course I could have just given him one of Dad's shirts - usually, I wouldn't have hesitated a moment about that. But this was far from normal and truth was that I didn't think I could stomach seeing Logan in one of Dad's shirts. Not yet. Perhaps never. Heaven knew though that Logan and I weren't exactly the same size... still. I got up and moved over to my cupboard, kneeling to search through one of the boxes there. Sure enough, there it was. I got it and turned to fling it over to Logan who caught it, unfolding the black shirt.

"Billy Idol?" he asked, giving me a raised eyebrow.

"I was working one of the ticket booths for the open-air in LA, this summer. When we had a break or were finished, we could go see the concerts," I explained and nodded at the shirt in his hands. "One of them was Billy Idol. Now, I've never been a fan, but I had nothing better to do. He was still better than the funk group or the country singer on the other stages. Turned out to be the best decision. Jeez, I don't know how he did it, but that old guy rocked like the young ones can't even dream about it and definitely gave the best 100 minutes of music that the open-air had this year."

"I know," Logan nodded, giving me a strange look. "I've been there as well. That concert was just fucking great."

I was a little caught off by those news as well. Thousands of people had been at the open-air, during four days. It was no big deal that we were among the few thousands attending the performance of Billy Idol. It meant noting. And yet, strangely, it did, not that I would openly admit that. "So when we could pick out some of the merchandise article I naturedly wanted one of his t-shirts. Unfortunately, they only had large ones left. It should fit you."

Wordless, he put it on. I'd been right. It did fit him. Very nicely so if I might add.

"Thanks," he nodded and looked around. "Need any help?"

I looked around as well. "No, I think I've got all I want to have for now. You'll be free to carry the boxes out to your car later on though," I added nicely.

He smirked sarcastically. "And what will I get for slaving myself off to you?"

"The knowledge that you did a well appreciated service for your girlfriend?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mars, there better is some serious PDA involved in that appreciation or you can carry out your boxes yourself," Logan though told me, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

I rolled my eyes and moved past him. As if he was ever going to go through with that threat. In the meantime, there was still one room left.

Hesitating, I stopped in front of Dad's room. It didn't take long and I felt Logan's arms slipping around me from behind and gently, he drew me against him. "You can tell me what you want and I'll get and pack it for you," he offered quietly.

Oh, and how much I wished I could do just that. But I couldn't. Out of several reasons. So I shook my head. "No... No, it's okay. Just - stay with me, okay?"

"Sure," he assured immediately, pressing a kiss onto the top of my head.

Taking a deep breath, I entered Dad's room. Contrary to mine, he hadn't had much personal things in there. But then, he usually only had come to this room to sleep. Every other free time, he'd spend out in the living room. Watching TV, reading, listening to music, cooking. There were a few things though. Plus, there were the several boxes in his cupboard that he had moved from our house to the new apartment but had never bothered to unpack them. I had no idea what was in it and had no intention to find out now. Quietly, I gathered together the two pictures on his night table, one of me when I had been six I think and then one of me, Dad and Back-Up together. Fighting back the tears that threatened to climb up my gorge, I opened the second and bottom drawer, quickly picking up the leather map in there. It held all the important information and documents. Birth documents, marriage certificate, the insurance polices, the bank cards and documents for all of Dad's savings. A man's whole life reduced to a little map. Beside it, there was a little, blue box. Holding the rings of his grandparents and parents, a necklace of my grandmother, Dad's college ring, his first badge and also, lately, Dad's own wedding ring. And not to forget a clumsy, yellow carton medal, claiming him to be the world's best dad. Another kindergarten project that I've given him for father's day.

Can you believe it that he actually had worn it for as long as I've been in kindergarten, right under his sheriff star? Well, he took it off and closed it into his top drawer of his desk in his office, to put it back on when he was finished for the day, but he wore it in public. I was so proud. And later, when I've gotten a bit older, so very embarrassed. I was still embarrassed. And yet, his pride of being my dad meant even more now to me now.

Quickly, I wiped away the tears pooling in the corner of my eyes. I was not going to cry. Not again.

Sighing, I carefully put the things into the little box that Logan had brought me and had put beside me at one point. Then I braced myself and looked at the top drawer. I so didn't want to do that - but I had to. Not just because there was no way I'd leave it here, but also because after everything that had happened and me having to move into the home of a potential murder, it probably was for the best that I did take it with me, no matter how much I hated even the idea of it.

Slowly, I pulled open the top drawer. Even more slowly, I reached inside, my fingers touching the cold metal. Shuddering, I took a deep breath and closed my hand around the barrel and drew it out, looking uneasily at the gun in my hand. A 9mm automatic, fully loaded, safety in place. God, how I hated guns. But I knew how to handle them. I knew, how to shoot. Dad had insisted on it, from a very early age on. I think I had been seven when he took me to a gun's ranch for the first time. Mom had been against it but Dad had been absolutely firm for one of the few times in their marriage that I can remember or know of. He had always said that if they liked it or not, he was a police officer, the sheriff. He needed to have weapons. And he would have enemies. So he had made sure that both me and Mom knew how to handle weapons. When I was a kid, he kept one gun, his service weapon, in his office or car while his second gun was stashed in the top shelve of their bedroom cupboard. When I've been eleven or so, some junkie had tried to break into the house one night. After that, Dad kept this gun in the top drawer of his night table, and yes, loaded. There was no use to have a gun in your house to protect yourself and die anyway just because you first needed minutes to first go get the bullets and then have to load it on top if all. A lot could happen in those few minutes. Hence why Dad had taken me every two months to a ranch to practice, ever since he had laid a gun into my hands for the very first time. Only in the last year he had let up on those trips.

I had never liked those trips. I hated guns. Guns were dangerous. Guns could kill. Guns could kill or hurt my dad. Hell, they _had_ killed Dad.

Dad had always been very clear about that subject. They could protect and sometimes, they were necessary, like for him as a sheriff. But foremost, they killed or at least inflicted a lot of pain. They were deadly dangerous and should only be treated with outmost care and respect. And I had comprehended very early in my life that while my Dad being a sheriff was cool and something to be very proud of, it also was a dangerous job. People shoot at sheriffs, you can learn that even from cartoons. They shoot with guns.

So yeah, I hated those things. And yet, here I was, holding the 9mm automatic in my hand and I had every intention to take it with me to the Kane household and keeping it in my top drawer from now on.

Yep, that was how much I loved to have to move in with them and how safe I felt with the Kanes.

"Veronica?"

I looked up and glanced briefly at Logan who gaped at me with wide eyes, having paled a little. Wordlessly, I got up and went to the cupboard to get the box with the holster, the cleaning set and the ammunition.

Finally, I turned to Logan and nodded. "I think I have everything I'll need now. We can go."

Yeah... I was all packed up and loaded.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's Note: Sigh... You have no I idea how much I've loved writing this one. For ages I wanted to just let go and write real LoVe, my favorite couple finally together. So here is this chapter with mucho LoVe interaction in it, I hope. And I admit, it perhaps is a bit kitschy in some parts - but sometimes, you just need such fluff. And Ronnie really needed it right now. I'm also aware that those two are moving with lightening speed. But sometimes, that too happens. I hope I still managed to show that despite everything, Ronnie's foremost grieving, her pain never far away, even if she and Logan managed to have found a little refuge for at least a few hours. Next chapter should be less fluffy and way more intense I'd say. And - Celeste will meet Back-Up! Hehehehe! Thanks for the many and wonderful reviews and the constant nagging to continue. I hear you, never doubt that and I appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed the ride!)_


	8. Bad News

**Chapter 8: Bad News**

You ever had those hot dreams about a sex goddess being clad all in black leather, weapons strapped to her body and look deadly dangerous?

Yeah, me too.

So now, having my fantasies coming at least partly true, I should be a slobbering, needy idiot, ready to play the sex slave and sporting a hard on that rivaled nothing I've ever experienced.

I _should_. But I wasn't. Instead, all I felt was a cold hand gripping my heart tightly as I watched in horror how Veronica, my sweet, little, Ronnie, got out her Daddy's gun and expertedly checked it and packed it up along with all those supplies, keeping the gun close to her though.

Dimly, I grew aware of Ronnie standing in front of me, looking at me expectantly. Expectant of what, I had no idea. I couldn't concentrate. All I could think about was the gun in Ronnie's hand.

A gun.

A loaded gun.

God!

"Ronnie," I whispered, my eyes glued to the gun.

She sighed. "Look, Logan, I'm not big on this either, but I can't leave the gun behind." Her eyes hardened. "And as good a bodyguard you and Back-Up are, I'm not going into that house without something more effective in order to protect myself."

"But..." I started, then stopped. I wasn't sure what to say. Ask her if she was crazy. If she held some death wish, because right then, all I could think of was that guns got you hurt, one way or another. Demand of her to get rid of that thing as fast as possible, to trust me to keep her safe.

But could I? Could I really keep her safe in that house if one of the Kanes indeed was Lilly's murder? Last night, at the beach, I had been convinced of it. But now I wasn't so sure. I could try as I might but even I had to admit that it would be impossible for me to be there with her every second to see to it that no one there hurt her. And Back-Up was a good guard dog, no doubt about that, but with the Kanes living with Ronnie and the pit pull in the same house it was easy to take him out of the equation. You just had to trap him in a room. Or mix something into his food.

I stared at the gun, then at Ronnie and forced myself to remember that she knew how to handle those things. It was sometimes hard to remember that, but she never had made a secret out of the fact that her Dad had insisted that she knew how to handle weapons. Besides, guns weren't just there to hurt. They could protect someone also.

And if this gun helped to protect my Ronnie...

"I won't carry it around with me all the time, you know. The last thing I want is to use that thing. But with everything that has happened, I really think it's good to know that this gun is nearby, just for case," Ronnie spoke softly, catching my eyes and holding them. I turned my whole attention to her and she gave me a weak smile. "My life's pretty much turned upside down right now and I hate many things about it at the moment. But I still want to enjoy it for a long while longer, Logan, especially after this night we had." She took a step closer and tentatively touched my hand. "After all that happened between us in the last twenty-four hours. I don't want to give up on that anytime soon and this gun will perhaps help me to remain here in this world, right beside you."

I took a shuddering breath, then exhaled with a sigh. I reached out and drew her into my arms and held her tightly. "I know, Ronnie, it's just that - well, you know what they say about guns. I just don't want you to get hurt. But I understand. Part of me is even relieved to know that you have something effective with which you can defend yourself. I just hate the fact that you need a gun for protection at all." I looked down and saw that she was looking right back at me. Tenderly, I stroked over her cheek, savoring the gesture. God, I loved to touch her and even more I loved that I now had the right to touch her all I wanted. "And I for my part am very keen on keeping you alive and right by my side as well and if this gun assures that, okay. Just... Just be careful, okay?" I pleaded, by now cupping her face with both of my hands as I stared into her eyes and I swallowed. "Just always remember that I can't lose you too." I shook my head. "I can't, Veronica. Not again. Not you."

Was it really not even quite twelve hours since she kissed me and we became an item? It should be impossible to develop such deep feelings within such a short time, to turn from hate to love so fast. But it did happen, I love her, I know that and telling her last night had only manifested all those profound and seemingly bottomless feelings I hold now towards one Veronica Mars. There was nothing that I regretted, at least nothing that had happened between me and Ronnie in the past week. She had become the center of my life, as easy as that, and the thought of maybe losing her...

She covered my hands with her own and looked up at me, nothing but sincerity in her eyes - and love. She maybe wasn't ready to say it yet, but I recognized it anyway. "And I promise I'll try my best to not get myself killed. But that's all I can promise you, you know that."

Taking a deep breath, I nodded reluctantly. Yeah, I knew. I bent down and gave her a kiss, because a kiss was the only way to let her know just how important she had become to me within the last few hours, how much I needed her and needed her to be safe and healthy. She wrapped her arms around me, pressing herself against me as she returned the kiss with no less fervor, her hands burying themselves into my hair, and I couldn't help but smile. Who would have thought that the once so shy, innocent and virginal Veronica would turn out to be so forward in her affections. First going to kiss me out of the blue, then bringing me to the brink of losing control several times already since that first kiss, turning me on like I haven't been in a long time, and all that with mere making out. Serious and heavy making out but it still was only making out, groping around a bit.

What will the little pixie do to me once we go further than that?

I wasn't sure but I knew I was looking forward to find out. And I certainly hoped that she would give me an opportunity to find out exactly soon. I had meant what I told her, I was willing to wait until she was ready and felt safe to take that step, as long as that may be - that didn't mean though that I couldn't hope that it wouldn't take too much time. Considering her forwardness and the fact that the last few times I had to actually stop her, I didn't think that would be the case, but still...

And yet, I wanted her to be sure about that so I wouldn't press her. I really could wait. Sure, I would miss having sex and I definitely missed making love. Though, lately, I wasn't so sure anymore if Lilly and I ever truly made love. I had thought so and I _did_ love her - but now, with Ronnie, even with the little we've done so far and the short amount of time that we were together, I could already tell that everything with Ronnie felt so much more - simply more.

Her fingers slipped under the shirt she had given me, enflaming my skin with her soft touch and suddenly I grew aware that we had both moved unconsciously towards the bed.

Her father's bed.

Her dead father's bed.

Oh, so not going to happen!

With a growl I ripped my mouth away from hers and, breathing hard, leant my head against her forehead, willing my heart to slow down and another part of my anatomy to become less excited as well - not too successfully. "Ronnie, you really need to stop doing this to me," I murmured, all the while tightening my hold on her.

Ronnie laughed, a bit shakily I thought. "I to you? What the hell are _you_ doing to _me_?"

Reluctantly, I lifted my head to look at her incredulously. "Excuse me, but who keeps attacking me out of the blue with hot, fiery, searing kisses here? I think it's that tiny blond one."

She gave me a look, but there was still the ghost of a smile on her lips. "I have you known that I never intended it to get so - intense. But the moment you engage into our kiss as well - I lose it. So I think the real culprit is rather the jackass here, not poor innocent me." She bent her head to the side and regarded me with more narrowed eyes. "Considering your experience, you probably have no problem to turn me into a willing, mindless, horny bimbo."

I grinned. Well, looking at it like that... Chuckling, I stroked a stray of her head behind her ear. "A bimbo? You?" I repeated, unbelieving.

Ronnie was a lot of things but she never had been a bimbo and never would be. Her IQ was too high for that.

Her stare became a glare. "Don't think I didn't notice your lack of a direct answer - or protest for that matter."

I just smiled, unaffected by the glare. "Believe me, Ronnie. I lose as much control as you do when we kiss."

She eyed me for a moment, then sighed. "I'm not sure if I like that. At least one of us needs to keep a clear head."

My smile grew. "If you ask me, a clear head is definitely overrated."

"Logan!" she protested, back to the glare.

Giving her a peck, and only a peck, onto the lips I stepped away from her. "What? It's true. You have a lot more fun if you're not always in your right mind, thinking everything through. But of course you would have no idea about that, you little control freak."

"Hey! I'm not a control freak!" Ronnie flared up, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

I shot her an amused glance as I moved over to the bed to take the carton she had packed. "Sure - that's why on every trip we ever made you had a program for us planned and even printed out. Or why you made the simplest surprise into a complicated mission. And let's not even start with any homework or project assignments."

"I like to be prepared and there's nothing wrong with being well organized and equipped. That doesn't make me a control freak," Ronnie pointed out as she followed me out of her father's bedroom, back into the living room where I put down the box next to the two already there.

"Whatever you say, Sweetiepie," I responded and could almost feel the two lasers boring into my back. Straightening up, I grinned at her.

She opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment, the phone rang. Passing me a cold look that promised me more later, she strolled over to it and picked it up.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, hi Wallace."

Assuming that her talk with her best friend would probably take a bit longer, I went back to her room and moved over to her bed to pick up one of the boxes. My eyes fell onto the black iron figure I've given her a couple of years back and I paused. I still had a hard time believing that she had kept this. After everything that had happened... Then again, the way she had explained it it didn't seem that unnatural after all. I remember finding the little statue. The moment my eyes had fallen onto the girl with her dog I had known that it was meant for Veronica, the two figures so similar to her and Back-Up. And I had bought it before I could think straight again, putting quite a dent into my credit card, not that I ever worried about that. Still - until then, I've never spent this much money on any gift and while I impatiently waited for an opportunity to give it to Ronnie, I didn't miss the fact that it should feel wrong to be this excited about giving her this gift and as an expensive one as that one. Especially when that girl was your girlfriend's best friend. And even more so when she was also your best friend's girlfriend.

But honestly? I never really cared about it. I just had to give it to her and her reaction to it when she unwrapped it - it was worth every cent I've spent and every slightly awkward moment with Lilly and Duncan I had to endure in the weeks afterwards. I probably would never forget the way her face showed total surprise and awe and how her eyes then lit up with joy. Nor was it likely that I'll forget the hug she gave me to thank me. It had steered something deep inside that I had refused to analyze or even name at that time but now, after being together with her - I had to admit that part of me probably never really got over the initial butterflies I felt that day when I met Veronica for the first time.

To be fair, it had been the first time I grew aware that perhaps, I was feeling a bit too much for the tiny blond one than I should. Not to mention that my relationship with Lilly hadn't been so great that time. The rose-rimmed glasses had been gone and I had started to comprehend that Lilly probably would never be faithful to me, me simply not meaning enough to her for that. But then, she just was like that, I knew that. But with Duncan and Ronnie just having gotten together and being disgustingly sweet with each other, most of all though seeing how devoted Ronnie was to Duncan - I just couldn't help but be a little jealous. I didn't exactly want what they had, I mean as far as I know Duncan never came past first base and even that one took quite some time - I did wish that Lilly would just be a bit more like Ronnie.

Not too comfortable with where my thoughts were heading there, I forced myself to push those thoughts away while I took a closer look around Ronnie's room. I hadn't had much opportunity to do so last night and so far I've been more busy with concentrating on my girlfriend, but now...

Putting the box down again, I slowly wandered over to her desk, glancing at the pictures and notes collected there. I could make out several pictures that probably were surveillance shots, many of them with notes stuck to it. Some seemed to be more a kind of try shots she had made, just for the fun of it. But most noticeable for me were the various pictures of Lilly. Usually either just Lilly or her and Ronnie together, but I did spot two where all four of us were on it, one of them from the homecoming dance, the other one taken at a beach, probably sometime during the last summer we had had together. I stared at the happy four kids there, having no idea what a tragedy would strike them soon and I swallowed. I knew why I removed most pictures that reminded me of that time out of my room at home. It simply was too hard to have them staring into my face, mocking me...

My eyes fell onto one that showed only Lilly and Ronnie, sitting on a bench in front of a large tree, looking at each other, laughing. I remembered that one. Actually, I had even taken it. We've made a trip up to the valley to go to a rave in the woods. Using the opportunity, Ronnie had talked us into going for a little hiking before hitting the rave. We all had complained, but Ronnie, in her own ways, was as effective at talking others into something as Lilly had been. While Lilly had used sex and seduction, Ronnie had perfected the art of pleading you silently with big eyes that in the end you just felt like the biggest jerk on Earth for refusing her - so you didn't. Duncan never had had a chance against her and I... I managed to say no a few times, but not often and in the end I've come to the conclusion that giving in to her was still easier than feeling like a complete ass for days for saying no. Lilly was more resilient but even she wasn't immune against the killer Bambi eyes Ronnie had. That had been one of those days. Surprisingly though, we had more fun hiking than either of us had imagined. Especially the fire in the evening had been nice.

Sighing, I slowly reached for that picture and took a closer look at the two girls that seemed to reign my heart. It still hurt to look at Lilly, at the pure life just oozing out from her, the joy she had. I could see the slyness in her eyes, the mischief in her posture and I remembered that shortly after that picture had been taken, Lilly had shoved a little lizard down the back of Duncan's t-shirt - but most of all I could see the love she had for Ronnie in her eyes. Unabashed, unquestioned, pure, simple love like I've never seen her direct towards anyone else than Ronnie - not even towards Duncan and certainly not towards me. And Ronnie, she smiled, in that quiet but honest way she had back then, everything about her soft and loving, relaxed, her eyes open, happy. In a very different way, she had been as much lively as Lilly had been, the light in her eyes never as bright as the one in Lilly's - but warmer, deeper.

Suddenly, my throat felt awfully tight and I quickly put the picture back into its place, rubbing my eyes that stung a little. I couldn't help but be aware of how it was now. One of those happy girls dead, rotting away in an early grave and the other... My eyes glanced at the old Ronnie and I abruptly turned away. In a way, the girl from that picture was as dead as Lilly was. You couldn't see her smile like that anymore. And her eyes - even last night, when Ronnie had been totally open with me, they hadn't been as open as they had used to be back then. Even without her shields up, they were still hooded with something dark and painful, always. She never was completely relaxed anymore and while she could still be soft and sweet - there was always that small sense of hardness around her now.

Dropping my head, I blindly stared at the figure again.

Someone had killed Lilly, had bashed her head in, had caused the light in her eyes to die forever. It had been brutal and final and I would forever hate whoever had caused her death. But at least with Lilly, it had been fast and clear, as devastating as her murder had been for us who had loved her.

But with Ronnie... The death of the girl she had been had been slow and torturous. Bit by bit we had destroyed her light, had chased away the softness that had defined her, had crushed her everlasting trust into the good of people. We had killed that girl. _I_ have killed her.

She had morphed from that death as a person stronger and perhaps even more beautiful than she had been before, her light, still deep, shining hotter than ever. She had found a backbone and boy, it was made out of titanium, not to mention a temper that matched only the wildest hurricane you could imagine. I've come to love that girl, probably more than I've ever loved the old Veronica. Surely being more attracted to her than to the sweet virgin she had been.

But nothing changed the fact that I helped to kill that girl as surely as Koontz or whoever else had killed Lilly. All in the name of Lilly. But the Lilly of that picture would have ripped out my balls, hacked off my dick and then would have fed it to Back-Up for what I've done to Ronnie after her death. No one messed with her best friend, _no one_.

God, what had I been thinking? How could I have ever believed that Lilly would have wanted me to go after Ronnie like I had? And how was it possible that I'd totally forgotten just how much Ronnie and Lilly had loved each other and how Ronnie, never in a million years, would have betrayed Lilly?

Okay, I was hurt, devastated, not thinking clearly - but that simply wasn't a good enough excuse anymore.

Then again, there was no excuse, wasn't there?

And yet, Ronnie had still forgiven me.

My eyes slid over her room, took in the items I recognized from before mixed with the things that screamed of the new Veronica and I shook my head. I probably would never get it, understand it.

I was just glad that she did give me a second chance.

Even more amazing, that she actually let me become her boyfriend.

I knew there was no use to dwell in the past. What was done was done. Ronnie and I had started a new chapter, leaving the page clean for the most part and all I could do now was try to give my best to make it up to her by never doubting her again. And to protect her, never let her be alone again.

Yeah. And considering how hard I've already fallen for her and how I was still falling even more in love by every minute that passed I doubted that that would be so hard.

_"What?!"_

Her unbelieving exclamation ripped me out of my thoughts and curious, I walked back into the living room to see what had agitated Veronica so much. She was still on the phone, it cradled between her head and shoulder while she quickly turned on the TV, zapping through the channels. Quietly, I moved closer to her. I had just reached her when the figure of Jake Kane filled the screen and I froze, an uneasy feeling starting to grow in the pitch of my stomach.

"Mr Kane, Mr Kane, are the rumors true? Is the daughter of the former and recently murdered Sheriff Mars indeed your biological daughter?"

"The same man that accused you to have murdered your daughter Lilly has in fact raised your own daughter?"

"Is it true that this secret daughter of yours in fact dated your son for almost a year?"

"Can you confirm that the daughter of the man whose life you've ruined is in fact your own daughter and that you've known of her existence all her life?"

"Mr Kane, how did your family react to those shocking news?"

"Did you really claim custody for her?"

"Is she going to live with you and your family now?"

"Will she inherit from you?"

"How took Ms Mars the news that the man who've cost her father the job now suddenly turns out to be her biological father?"

With each shouted question from the reporters, Ronnie had paled a bit more and at this last question, she let out a small yep I barely heard. But I did and it was enough to snap me out of my shock and quickly move to pull her into my arms, stroking automatically up and down her arms.

What the fuck was Jake Kane doing giving a goddamn press conference?

Ronnie leaned against me, but her eyes stayed glued to the screen. Frowning, I glared at the screen as well, interlacing my fingers with Ronnie's. Silently, we watched as Jake finally held up his hands, indicating that he wanted a chance to speak. The camera moved back a little and we could see that apparently, Jake was in front of his house, holding the conference in front of their gates with him standing on a make-shift podium.

"Please, ladies and gentlemen, calm down and let me talk. I promise I will answer your questions then," he demanded and the reporters quieted down. Once it was possible for him to speak, he nodded satisfied and looked into the mass of reporters, making eye contact with a few of them. "Thank you," he said and I felt Ronnie stiffen. I couldn't blame her. "Now to your many questions: Yes, it is true. Veronica Mars is my biological daughter. Her mother and I had been a couple back in high school and at one point I fear we've had drunken a bit too much and our old feelings for each other overwhelmed us. She was already seeing Keith Mars at that time and when she got pregnant we never were quite sure which one of us had fathered the baby. Keith declared back then that it was of no importance to him and that he would raise the child as his own and he has held his word."

Ronnie was trembling now in my arms and it surely was not from grief. Her rage was almost palpable. Again, I couldn't blame her. If I had been able to, I would have ripped off Jake Kane's head right then and there.

On the TV, Jake continued. "Of course I've always kept a close eye on the girl that could very well be my daughter and it had warmed my heart to see how much like sisters she and Lilly had always acted. But as Keith had always been nothing than an exceptional father to Veronica, I never had felt the need to confirm my suspicion that Veronica indeed was my daughter and not Keith's. Viewing the latest tragedy though that has hit the Mars family, I could no longer hesitate to step forward and take on my responsibility." Jake made a short break, establishing some more eye contact before taking a deep breath and picking up his speech again. "I had a paternity test done to prove my legality in claiming custody for Veronica. Thankfully, the judges were kind enough to understand this extraordinary circumstances and granted me custody, now that Keith is dead and her mother of unknown whereabouts at the moment and Veronica will move in with me and my family still today. She is now under my care and I will make sure that my daughter will be well looked after."

The reporters spoke all at once while Ronnie had once again gone stiff, the rage seething just below though. I was just glad we weren't there at the moment. I wasn't sure if Ronnie wouldn't have used her dad's gun on Jake right away. I sure would have in her place. How dare he to deliver her to the sharks like that?

Again, Jake held up his hands. This time, the reporters quieted only a bit. "Now please, I understand you have many questions, but please remember that Veronica had to suffer through a lot this past year, especially though this past week. To find out on top of that that I am her father was hard on her. So I ask you to leave her and also my family alone. We all will have to adjust to these many big changes in our lives, Veronica most of all. I'm sure you understand that many things need to be cleared out first, after all, we gained certainty of her being my daughter only yesterday. Please respect that. Especially as my daughter is after all still grieving for the man that had been her father all her life, having buried him only yesterday as well." He nodded. "Thank you, that would be all," he finished and stepped away from the microphones, turned the reporters his back and ignored the storm of questions shouted at him as he made his way back to his car to climb in and drive up to his house.

I pried the TV control out of Ronnie's limb fingers and turned the television off. Then I silently turned her around in my arms and simply held her. I had no words for her. But really, what _could_ be said after something like this?

Faintly, I heard someone calling her name and grew aware that Ronnie still held her cell phone in her hands and Wallace was now franticly calling for her. With a sigh, I glanced at the trembling girl in my arms and seeing that she was in no shape to talk to her friend right now, I gently took the phone from her and held it up to my ear.

"Wallace? It's Logan. She can't talk right now," I told him quietly, tightening my hold on her.

"So it's true?" Wallace asked unbelieving. "My God."

Yeah.

I contemplated for a moment what to tell him and finally decided for a short, but affirmative answer. "Yeah, Jake came by yesterday after the funeral to drop the bomb. Look, I'm sure she'll need to talk to you, but right now…" I broke off. "I'm sure she'll call you once she calmed down a bit. Bye."

"No, wait, I…"

I disconnected and drew Ronnie tightly against me, stroking over her hair. I probably hadn't made any plus points with Wallace by hanging up on him – but then again, I had more important things to take care of. Like my grieving girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. It didn't felt like it was enough, but what else could I say?

Ronnie sniffled and pushed away from me, turning her back towards me. "You've got nothing to be sorry for," she said tonelessly.

"Yeah well – I was on his side once," I quietly answered. And really, after the last two days I was beginning to ask myself how I've ever been able to be so stupid and buy Jake Kane's act as being the nice, jovial billionaire.

She smiled at me over her shoulder and I was relieved to see a weak smile. "But you're on mine now," she replied softly.

"You bet," I nodded with a smirk.

She nodded and turned back to me. "Well," she said dryly, "I guess that's it. After this press conference he won't let me not come to him." She shook her head. "Why Logan? Why did he do this? He threw me to the hounds, me and himself and Celeste and Duncan. Why would he do it this way? Why not keep it under wraps like the rich usually handle this sort of scandal?"

That was a very good question. I was pretty sure that would have been what my parents would have decided to do if a love child of Dad suddenly showed up. They would have tried to keep it secret as long as possible. I couldn't understand why Jake went so public with this whole affair.

So I simply shrugged. "I honestly have not the slightest idea. Perhaps word had gotten out somehow and this was his way to do damage control."

Yeah, that was possible. There was the judge and the DNA lab who had made the paternity test. I was sure Jake had paid them generously – but let's face it: this was really big news and Jake Kane a big, rich and powerful man. Any sane person could figure out that the press would go nuts with news like that – and pay quite a bit to get it. Oh yeah, that was really a likely possibility.

I saw the same comprehension dawn on Ronnie. "Ah, I see – money, power and gossip reigns this world."

I nodded. "That's the way how it works."

"It sucks. And it's not fair," she said bitterly.

"No, it isn't," I agreed, then shrugged. "Come on, Mars. Let's wrap up the rest then head out."

She blinked at me. "Are you crazy?" She pointed at the television. "They'll still be there! No way am I going there now!"

"I never said to head out to the Kanes. I just said let's go," I corrected her and sighed. She had a lot to learn about my world. "Veronica, they're going to want your statement as well. They'll search for you. Right now, they're probably gathering in front of my house. But I bet some of those will be headed here as well to try their luck here. The sooner we get out of here, the better."

Her face fell as she took in my words. "Oh."

I decided the best way to react was by acting normal. So I went over to hoist up one of the boxes. "Hop, hop, Mars. Just because you're my girlfriend now doesn't mean I'm hauling these boxes out by myself. I love you, but not that much."

The corners of her mouth twisted up and she batted her eyelashes at me. "You sure about that, baby?"

I flashed her a grin. "Not going to work on me, Mars. I know you too long and well for that."

Now she pouted. "But what use is a boyfriend if he doesn't carry those little boxes for me?"

My grin turned to a wolf grin. "You'll see, Babe."

* * *

The closer we got to the Kane Household, the more I felt Ronnie beside me tense. I wasn't surprised – but I still didn't like it. Hell, to be frank, I didn't like to bring her there at all. It left me – uneasy. Perhaps because Veronica's suspicions were getting at me and I actually started to believe that it was possible that one of the Kanes indeed had something to do with Lilly's death. Her reasons to doubt them sure were valid and demanded an explanation, even though I really had trouble to see any of them as killers.

Or perhaps it was because of Jake Kane. I couldn't help it, my opinion of him had pretty much deteriorated since the last day. Was it really only yesterday? It seemed like ages ago to me. But fact was that I couldn't believe him. Barreling in on the day of the funeral of Mr Mars to announce that Ronnie was his daughter was one thing – to demand her to leave with him immediately another – but the last draw had definitely been his press conference this morning. What the hell was the guy thinking he was doing there? Even if it was right that the story had come out and he had only wanted to do damage control… he wouldn't have had to deliver Ronnie to the wolves like that. Then again, I wasn't sure why, but I had the feeling that he was actually indeed trying to ensure that Ronnie had no choice in this matter but to live with the fact from now on that Jake Kane had fathered her. And that she had to come live with them. And I wondered why he was so adamant about it. Somehow I doubted that he all of a sudden found his fatherhood for Ronnie and just wanted to fulfill his responsibilities.

Or perhaps, my uneasiness had even more to do with not liking the fact that _my_ Ronnie was going to live under the same roof and next door to Duncan. She could say what she wanted and I _did_ believe that she believed it herself – but there were definitely still feelings involved, also on her side. Perhaps just because the relationship between them had been left so unfinished, the way Duncan had ended it. And yeah, I knew, they were half brother and sister, but still… They had been in love with each other first and just because they've learned that they share some part of their DNA does not necessarily have to change that love to a sibling love. Especially not with him, judged by the way Duncan kept looking at Ronnie. I can't blame him. I'm beginning to understand why he can't just so easily let go of her – I couldn't either and I've only really been with her for not even twenty-four hours. And part of me may fear what he'll try when he's only living across the corridor from her. And how my girlfriend may react to such tries.

It's not that I don't trust her. I do. Really. I may be a jealous type, then again with Lilly it also had been different. With her I always had known that I _couldn't_ trust her, so yeah, I did watch other guys around her closely. I knew I didn't have to do this with Ronnie. Well, at least not much. My Ronnie sure is a catch and I'm not so naïve to believe that only because she's got me as a boyfriend, other guys won't want to try something.

Of course I know that Ronnie would never betray me. She's just not the type. I know perfectly well that if she really should ever fall for another guy, then she would first come clean with me. Not that that was much of a comfort – but in a way, it was. After having had girlfriends like Lilly or even Caitlin I sure appreciated this absolute certainty. It still didn't mean that I could trust the guys though. And if I could, I would make sure that she didn't get the opportunity to ever fall for someone else.

We turned into the street where the Kanes lived and the tension coming from Ronnie doubled, even though I have no idea how that was possible, as tense as she already was.

I sighed. I really hated doing this. "You know, I could just drive past their house," I suggested.

"I know. And God, I sure want to beg you to do just that," Ronnie answered tightly. "But if we do, I'll never bring up the nerve to come back. As I sooner or later will have to come here anyway, it's better to get it over with."

Always so stubborn… but then, that was my Ronnie.

"Well then," I complied and pulled into the driveway, wading my way trough the reporters gathered there. Thankfully, the guards at the gate recognized my car on the spot and didn't hesitate to open them for us so we didn't have to stop until I pulled in in front of the house. I turned the motor off and waited, giving Ronnie all the time she needed to gather her strength to get out and face the Kanes.

When we still sat in the car three minutes later though, I briefly glanced at her before I reached over and stroked over her cheek before letting my hand fall down to take her hand into mine. "You know I'm here. And I won't go anywhere anytime soon."

For a moment longer she stared ahead, but did squeeze my hand back. Finally, she also looked back at me, trying to summon a smile, not quite succeeding. "Yeah, I know." She took a deep breath. "Well, let's go." She reached over to open the door and with a last strong squeeze of my hand, she got out.

I quickly got out as well and moved to shield her body from the reporter's prying eyes as much as I could – which was pretty much covering all of her, thanks the her tiny-ness. At that thought I grinned and moved close in behind her, leaning down. "Being as tiny as you are has it advantages, hasn't it? I bet the reporters had to scramble to go get out their wide cornered focuses or whatever they need to properly zoom in on you."

"Shut up." She glared up at me but I could feel some of her tension leaving. Good.

Of course then the door opened and none other than Celeste Kane stood in front of us. Her nose wrinkled up as she recognized us and I almost took offense at the look of disgust she regarded us with. Then again, this was Celeste. I hadn't expected anything else from her. She did stand back to let us in wordlessly though which was almost the epitome of a greeting with open arms for her.

Ronnie entered quietly but I allowed myself to grin at the ice queen. "Mrs K! How nice to have sent us such a nice invitation! It's always a treat for us to come back here."

Her icy glare hit me and I'm sure she would have had a nice, stiff response for me, but sadly, Jake showed up at that moment, his eyes intent on Ronnie. "Veronica."

Ronnie smiled at him and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I've seen that smile many times before – during the time we were enemies, just before something nasty would come out of her mouth. "Mr Kane."

Not exactly a curse – on the other hand, judged by the expression on Jake's face it had hit home. For years now, we kids had called Mr K by his first name, Ronnie included.

"Please, Veronica. I'm your father. At least call me Jake," he told her with an annoyed sigh.

Wrong thing to say.

Ronnie's eyes narrowed and I instinctively moved closer to her. "You may have fathered me, _Jake_, but you will never be my father."

This time, Jake actually winced, his expression growing tired – but also a tad bit offended, if I read it right. "I know this is difficult for you, Veronica. It's not an easy situation for any of us. It would help matters if you'd at least try to cooperate."

"You know nothing of what I feel, Jake," Ronnie told him coldly. "But I'm here, because with your press conference and by buying off pretty much everyone here in Neptune you left me no other choice, have you? You better not expect anything from me though." Thus said she dismissed him and turned to Celeste with her best false smile she had. "Now if you could please show me the room I'm supposed to stay in. I've got a few boxes in Logan's car and the sooner we get them moved in, the better. And Sam should be here any moment with the things I had over at Logan's. And with Back-Up of course."

Delighted, I watched Celeste's forefront wrinkle. "Back-Up?"

Ronnie's smile was bright and blinding. "My bulldog. But don't worry, he's an absolute sweetheart and barely drools. And he only attacks people who aren't all that nice to me or impose a threat to me." Her eyes slid to Jake. "Of course he won't have any need to protect me here, now, right Jake?"

I had a hard time holding back the snicker I was feeling upon seeing Celeste's expression of slight horror or the disapproving frown on Jake's face. Ah my Ronnie... always good to rile up people.

"So? My room?" Ronnie asked, glancing from Jake to Celeste.

Celeste's mouth thinned and abruptly, she turned away. "She's your mistake, Jake. I won't be further troubled by this," she hissed and marched off.

My eyes narrowed and I was about to hurl a snarl after her, but Ronnie laid a hand onto my arm, slightly shaking her head. I took a deep breath and let it go. Ronnie was right. This was Celeste. She wasn't worth it to be taken seriously.

Jake regarded me with a deep frown. "Thanks for bringing Veronica over, Logan, but we can take it from here now. I'm sure your parents will be glad to see you again."

"Why, Mr K, don't worry, they don't miss me that quick," I replied dryly and dropped an arm around Ronnie's shoulder. "I'll help Ronnie settle in for now."

Jake was about to say something else but Ronnie simply glared at him. "Let's make something perfectly clear here: I may have no choice than to live here until I turn eighteen but you have no say whatsoever over me, my activities or my friends. For the months until my birthday I come and stay as I please, I see whoever I want and I have whoever I want staying over. I will consider the other people living here, keep the music down and I have my own computer and television so that should not be a problem either and I promise to not make a party without announcing it. If you need the house to yourself for something, tell me and I'm gone. I will not pretend to be a member of this family though and I don't have to listen to anyone here, least alone you. Do we understand each other?"

"I am your father, Veronica," Jake replied sternly, holding her eyes. "I expect you to behave as a daughter of mine should behave."

"Once again: You are not my father. My father is Keith Mars," corrected him Ronnie coldly. Then she smiled that feral smile again. "And don't you worry, Jake, I remember everything of what Lilly taught me about being the daughter of the great Jake Kane."

Jake's eyes flashed with anger and involuntarily, I stepped even closer to Ronnie so I'd be able to get her out of the line of fire - just for case. I never have thought of Jake Kane as a violent man - but looks could deceive and with most people, you just had to push the right buttons for them to flip out. And from the looks of it, Ronnie's last comment sure had hit at least something.

"If you hurt her, I don't care who you are: I will make you pay and you can be sure that I'll see to it that you lose your ridiculous guardianship of her as fast as you bought it," an icy voice sounded and we all looked over to the door where Sam Hunter stood, a fletching Back-Up on a tight leash beside him.

I had no trouble to believe every word he said and apparently, so did Jake because he visibly forced himself to relax. "Detective Hunter. I assure you I have no intention whatsoever to hurt Veronica. I do care for her."

Ronnie snorted at that, earning herself a glance from Jake. "I really do, Veronica. I always have," he insisted.

"Could have fooled me, the way you treated me and my family this past year and a half," Ronnie replied dryly then went over to Hunter and gave him a fierce hug. "I'm so glad to see you, Sam."

I sneaked a glance at Jake. Even the old Ronnie hadn't been much one to engage openly displays of affection, let alone this new version of her, so I was pretty sure that this hug now had the main purpose to rile up Jake further. Judging from the dark expression on his face, she had scored once again.

With a last warning glare towards Jake Hunter returned the hug. "Me too, Kitten." He let go of her and Ronnie bowed down to ruffle Back-Up's head before she took his leash. "He already been out?"

"I let him loose just before coming in," Hunter nodded and turned his eyes back over to Jake. "He left a big heap of shit on your lane, I'm afraid. Unfortunately, I didn't have any dog-bags left. But I'm sure you have people taking care of your shit, don't you, Mr Kane?" he added nonchalantly, without any trace of snark or sarcasm in his voice.

I for my part couldn't help the grin spreading out on my face and I spotted a matching grin on Ronnie's face before she quickly bowed her head. Damn, that Hunter guy actually had a sense of humor! Who'd have thought that?

Jake's jaw clenched, but he did nod, even though a bit tightly. "Of course, no problem." He eyed Back-Up. "He's - welcome here, of course. And I'll see to it that his needs are looked after," he offered half-hearted.

"That won't be necessary. I'm well capable of looking after my own dog," Ronnie though told him straight out, before turning back to me and Hunter. "Why don't you guys grab each a box from your car? I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."

I hesitated a moment, uncomfortable to leave her alone with Jake. But then we'd leave the door open, it was only for a short moment and she had Back-Up with her. The big guy wouldn't allow Jake to hurt her - at least not physically. So I just gave a slight nod and then followed Hunter out.

Once we were at my car, Hunter stopped and turned around to fix me with his cop eyes. I raised an eyebrow. He regarded me for a moment longer then slightly shook his head. "How's she holding up?" he asked and I was sure it wasn't what he originally wanted to say.

Oh well - the longer the dad speech could wait, the better. So I just shrugged. "As good as can be expected," I answered truthfully and glanced back, hesitating a moment. I didn't trust anyone but Ronnie, but this one did care for her a lot after all, was close to her. "Perhaps a bit too well. I'm afraid it's going to really come over her once it actually sinks down. So far she barely had time to process anything," I added in a low voice. I really was worried about this. First the funeral, then Jake's revelation, then us hooking it up, the press conference this morning, now moving in with the Kanes... I knew Veronica was strong, amazingly strong, but she too had her breaking point and I was afraid if she had to take much more in, she would sooner or later break down after all.

Of course I was determined to be there for her - but I wasn't so sure if I really could help her much.

Hunter followed my gaze, then surprised me by briefly slapping my back. "She's a tough kid. She'll manage, I'm sure. As long as she has her friends." His eyes narrowed and I suddenly had to fight the urge to squirm. Jeez. "Of course that is if she isn't going to be betrayed again by those so called friends."

I did wince at that. But damn it, it hadn't been just me! Still, I just shook my head briefly. "You won't have to worry about that. Ronnie's not going to get rid of me that easily ever again," I claimed, not caring how this sounded or what it may imply or not. If I was correct, this guy suspected the true nature of my relationship with Ronnie already anyway.

"Good to hear," Hunter nodded shortly and turned to his car, parked right behind mine. But he turned around after three steps. "Oh, and Logan?"

I met his eyes.

"I guess you are both too old to warn you not to touch my godchild. But be assured that if you do hurt her, I'm going to hound the police on you for the rest of your life," he said pleasantly, giving me a small smile. "Depending on the hurt you cause, I also may just kill you and no one will ever find your body."

I'm really not easily to intimidate - but damn if I haven't had a cold shiver run down my back at his scrutinizing, cold gaze.

Hunter's smile widened. "Do we understand each other?"

Gulping, I slowly nodded. "Perfectly." He raised an eyebrow. "Sir," I hastily added.

Finally contented, he turned back around and I fought to not sag in relief. Shit! This was just ridiculous! I could face an abusive father or even an entire biker gang without flinching but one look of this guy and I was turned into a quivering poodle. Ridiculous!

Then again, Hunter did have a gun, I thought with a grimace, grabbing one of the boxes. And a badge. Not to mention probably more than just one contact in the underground. And I was the guy sleeping with whom he considered as a daughter and his charge to protect. So perhaps it wasn't so unnatural for me to take this guy's threats serious and be just a tad bit wary of him, was it?

Ronnie eyed the two of us for a second once we joined her again but instead of making a comment she just turned back to Jake. "Now my room please."

Hehe. I guess Jake Kane wasn't used to people treating him like service personnel. But he did turn around. "This way."

We followed him up the stairs, turned left and for a brief moment I feared the bloody idiots indeed wanted her to stay in Lilly's room when his steps slowed approaching her closed door. Thank God though he continued to move on, passed also Duncan's room and finally came to a stop in front of the last door, one of their guest rooms for friends of the kids. I've spent a night or two in there as Ronnie probably also had. At least officially. Mostly we ended up in the room of our best friends anyway. Or in my case Lilly's. Not that I officially spent the night at the Kane's often after hooking up with her.

Jake opened the door, then stepped back for Ronnie to move past him. She hesitated only a moment, then entered the room with me close on her heels. A quick glance around told me that apart of making the bed fresh, they hadn't changed anything that I could see. The room was the same cold impersonal as it always had been. Then again, they hardly had time to redecorate just for Ronnie. Not to mention that she was bringing her own stuff with her anyway. I put the box down by the window, using the opportunity to glance out. No tree too close, no rain drain passing by in too close proximity. Good.

"I know it's a bit scarce," Jake said, having entered behind us. "You can change the room as you please of course. Don't hesitate to ask for something."

Ronnie, who had made her own overview of the room turned to Jake. "That won't be necessary. As soon as I've got it organized I'll move my own stuff in here. You'll just have to tell me where to store the bed and other furniture that I won't need."

Jake seemed to want to protest, then thought better of it though. "Of course. Well, I guess I leave you to unpack then. Just call Marcie if you need anything. Dinner is at six."

Ronnie looked over at me and I shrugged. Her call. She turned back to Jake. "Thanks. I'm not sure I can make it to dinner as I've still got a lot to do. I'll let Marcie know as soon as I know if Logan and I are eating here or not."

He frowned this time. "I'd appreciate it if we could have a family dinner tonight. There's a lot to discuss." He glanced at me. "Logan is welcome another time of course."

Again Ronnie looked at me. Again I shrugged. I didn't want to leave her alone, but then we probably couldn't expect to be able to spend all the time together. I'd spend the night here one way or another anyway.

"We'll see," Ronnie just answered vaguely.

Jake opened his mouth, then though closed it again, sighing. "Very well. I'll be in my office if you need me," he said.

Ronnie nodded and he left. As soon as he was gone, Ronnie sat down on the bed, grimacing. "Have you talked with Cliff? Is there really nothing we can do?" she asked, looking up at Hunter.

He shook his head, looking darkly. "No. We can go to court, but it's more than likely that until we actually get a court date you'll long be eighteen. And it would cost us quite a deal."

She sighed. "That's not worth it, Sam. It's not as if I'll spend much time here anyway with school and the job." She stopped and cringed. "I mean, that is if you want to keep Mars Investigation. If not I'll sure be able to find something else. There's always a badly paid job out there for poor teenagers." She eyed Hunter warily. "Have you already thought about what you want to do with our office?"

"Not really," he sighed, looking away. "With everything that happened..."

"I know," Ronnie quickly said. "I didn't want - I mean you just take your time to think about it."

He nodded then glanced at me. "Logan, could you please leave us alone for a moment? I'd like to discuss a few things with Veronica."

I shrugged. "Sure. I'll go get the rest of the boxes, leaving them in front of the door," I told Ronnie, then left, closing the door.

* * *

Moving the boxes up to her room didn't take long. I even grabbed the remaining bag in Hunter's car as well. Boy, I sure was going to make Ronnie make up for all this physical work, I thought with anticipatory glee. I wasn't sure yet how but it would definitely involve something with body contact. Lots of body contact. Just because she wasn't ready yet to have sex didn't mean we couldn't do other things. I bet no one of those loser ex-boyfriends she had had so far had shown her the true wonders of petting...

Speaking of exes... I gave Ronnie's still closed door a last glance then walked back to Duncan's room, peeking in. Not very surprisingly, his room was empty. He was home though, I've seen his car in front of the house. And I had a hunch where he may be.

What I had told Ronnie the day before was right: I'd hate to lose Duncan as a friend, but I wasn't going to give up what Ronnie and I had, not even to save my friendship with my best friend. And he still _was_ my best friend, despite everything, that much was true as well. It may be strained lately between us and yeah, it hurt that I had to find out bit by bit that Duncan actually hadn't told me much of what I consider a best friend should know, and yeah, I was in love with his ex-girlfriend - but in the end, Duncan was still the one guy I trusted the most beside Veronica, the only one of my friends who knew how my father really was and also the one who knew me for the longest. His friendship was important to me, was one of the most important things in my life, not to mention one of the few good things. Until last night probably the most important and best thing.

Now though everything was different. I wasn't sure anymore where exactly I stood with him. I mean, I did admit after all that there was a slight possibility that he actually had killed Lilly and I doubt that a best friend should even have doubts about such a thing. I didn't really believe it, but still... there was this small doubt left. Beside that I was furious at the moment with him for his treatment of Veronica and his whole way of handling this situation altogether. He hadn't done her right, not when he had broken it off with her without ever talking to her about it, not even offering a lie, nor lately, by not standing by her like he should have as someone who still loved her.

And he _did_ still love her, I knew that without any doubt. Sister or not. Which led to the biggest of all problems: Veronica was mine now and I wasn't going to give up on her again ever. And Duncan had no choice than to accept that - especially as he couldn't claim her for himself ever again. A circumstance for which I was thankful as I had to admit. Ronnie could say what she wanted - I've been there, all the way, witnessing their blossoming love and their almost sickly perfect relationship before disaster stroke. Something like that wasn't easily forgotten and I couldn't help but fear that each time I screwed up, she was going to compare me to her former perfect boyfriend. A comparison where I knew only too well that I wouldn't come out as the winner.

Let's face it: I'm trouble. I'm often the bad guy. Hell, nobody knows that better than Veronica. Heaven knew that I've been a complete jerk towards her. And I like rousing trouble, I like living dangerously and boy, do I like being one of the high and mighty privileged ones! Whereas Duncan always had been the humble and noble rich guy who wasn't exploiting his status in society, treating everyone nice, always the gentleman.

The old Veronica - Duncan had been perfect for her and vice versa. Well, apart of the tiny little fact that they were actually blood related, but otherwise, they had just been perfect for each other. Perhaps not the hottest couple, but definitely the dream couple. The new Veronica - now she and Duncan don't fit at all anymore, she simply being too much woman for a guy like Duncan. Me and Ronnie though - it fits. God, how very much we fit. But still - the old Ronnie isn't completely gone and I always had been too much of a bad boy in me to fit with the saint and virginal Veronica Mars.

So no - I didn't feel comfortable eventually being compared to Duncan. So yeah, there were a lot of mixed feelings concerning my best friend. I had no idea where we stood right now. There was also so much he didn't know and I've never liked lying to my friends. But I still wanted to see him, see how the air between us was now after all these revelations lately. Plus - I think I deserved a few answers.

I found him in the game room in the cellar, just as I thought I would, playing a video game. Silently, I entered the room and moved to stand behind him, watching the game for a moment. It didn't take long and he crashed, not much to my surprise: he wasn't really concentrating on the game, as much was easy to tell.

"DK! Looks like you're dead," I grinned.

He looked up and shrugged, his face unreadable. "Yeah, I haven't gotten the hang of it yet."

"Bugger," I commented nonchalantly and moved around the couch to be right in his view, looking at the collection of games and movies he had stored down here. It's been a while since I've been here, in the one room that had truly belonged just to Duncan and Lilly, every room else more or less Celeste's kingdom, including their bedrooms that always had to be presentable. I spotted a new game and drew it out. "Hey! You've never mentioned that you have the new Wargame! Why the hell not?" I demanded to know, turning to him.

"I haven't gotten it for more than 10 days," he replied dryly and a shadow flew over his face. "With everything else that happened I haven't even gotten time to try it out myself yet."

Yeah well, if he wanted to play it like that - fine with me. The game still in hand, I moved to stand before him and rose an eyebrow. "And with everything else I guess you mean Ronnie's Dad being murdered, me and her forgetting our animosity while you've once again weren't there for her and yeah, let's not forget the announcement that she's actually Jake's biological daughter, huh?" I asked sarcastically, feeling the anger I had held towards him for the past few days coming up.

Shit. I was angrier with him than I had thought.

He had the grace to at least flinch as he turned away his head, not offering an answer. I shook my head. Typical Duncan - always avoiding a confrontation.

"Well, I guess I finally know now just why you've broken it up after all," I haunted him, sitting down. "No wonder you've never told anyone. Shaking it up with your own sister... that's even too gross for me."

He tensed, glancing back at me and surprised me by actually answering me this time. "Look, it's not that I didn't want to tell you - I just couldn't, it being simply way too - absurd."

I snorted. "You say?"

This time, he even met my eyes and I grew still. "I didn't want to believe it, you know? Not when Mom first told me. I thought it was just Mom's crazy try to drive me and Veronica apart. But when Dad couldn't deny the possibility of it being true - he claimed he didn't know for sure when I asked him, you know, but I could see it in his eyes. He believed it." Nervous, he shook his head. "And why shouldn't he? One look at Veronica and Lilly standing next to each other, especially when they've been little kids, and even a blind one can see the similarities. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I could no longer be with her. No matter how much that hurt."

I sighed, still a bit amazed that Duncan wanted to talk all of a sudden. "I believe it's been a blow, Duncan, but..."

"A blow?" Duncan repeated unbelieving. "A blow? Fuck, Logan, that Dad had an affair may have been a blow but to learn that the love of your life is your sister is a bit more than a blow! If anything, it's a damn bomb!" He jumped up and started to pace, his eyes suddenly swirling with anger and frustration. "One day I couldn't be happier, dreaming about my first night with my future wife and the next, I'm a weird sicko having the hots for his very own sister! While the sister I knew all my life is having a field day with the news, barely able to wait to tell Veronica and the world!"

I froze. Oh shit. Duncan - he didn't imply... I swallowed hard. "So Lilly wanted to tell Ronnie?" I asked slowly.

Duncan laughed sarcastically. "You kidding? She always loved Veronica as a sister, now that she actually was, and the prospect of going public and therefore causing a big scandal, not to mention this being such a slap into Mom's face on top of that, had made her year. She didn't care what it would mean to me and Veronica when it became public that we dated our own sibling - nor did she consider how much of a shock this would be for Veronica', finding out that Sheriff Mars wasn't her father. She was Lilly! She gave a fuck about other people's feelings. She just cared about herself and what a marvelous scandal it would be."

I digested that for a moment, my heart beating loudly. He sure got it right. This was exactly how Lilly would have reacted to such news. But... "She wanted to go public with this?"

"Of course. She just wanted to wait for the perfect moment. I think she had it planned for the Halloween party my parents had been planning," Duncan answered, still pacing.

Shit, shit, shit - Duncan had just given me a perfect motif for all of them to kill Lilly. But would they really have been able to kill her over this? I just didn't know anymore.

"But then she died," I whispered, watching Duncan closely.

It was as if the air was suddenly let out of Duncan. His face fell and he sat back down, messing up his hair. "Yeah."

Some of the tension left me. If he really had killed her he wouldn't have deflated like that, would he have? He would have grown even angrier or defensive, right?

Still... "That must have been at least one worry less," I carefully mentioned, feeling slightly sick to even suggest this.

His head shot up to glare at me. "Lilly was killed, Logan. We hardly cared about anything else than that anymore!"

"Yeah, of course, of course..." I hurried to say, sighing inwardly, relieved though. "Sorry."

He looked down but nodded.

I waited for a beat before I continued my questioning. "But if you were all so afraid about the truth coming out - why did Jake go and go so public with it all now?"

"Hell if I know," Duncan answered, making a face. "I mean, I _did_ tell him after Mr Mars' death that he owed it to Veronica to at least do something for her, especially after you told me about her trouble with money. But I didn't expect him to go and get custody of her." He shook his head. "Or to give that lovely press conference this morning. I don't know what's gotten into him. Mom nearly had a heard attack when he told us what he planned to do."

I took that in with a frown. So it had been all Jake behind this custody idea? Why on Earth? "So you have no idea why he's doing this?"

Duncan shook his head. "No, not the slightest. He claims it's just time to take responsibility but I dunno... it's still strange that he went that way about it." He hesitated, then looked at me. "How... how she's taking it?"

I shrugged. "What do you expect? She's not happy about it."

He nodded, but continued to fidget. Oh great. Now he wanted to talk about her.

"And... And did she say anything about... the situation... between us?" he asked nervously, only glancing quickly at me before returning his stare to his shoes.

When I didn't answer, he looked up. Only then did I shake my head. "Let's make one thing perfectly clear, DK: I'm not going to be the messenger boy between you two. Ronnie and me cleared our issues and we're back to friends. You and me are still best buddies. But what's between you and her is your beer - or mess in this case. If you want to know how she's feeling, talk to her," I told him and once again felt the anger boil up a bit. "You were a jerk to her, Duncan, back then. Your reasons for breaking up with her may have been very founded, but the way you've done it - or rather said not done it wasn't right. Then you let everyone, including me, pick on her, knowing only too well that she's actually your sister. And now, when her dad died, you still wouldn't move your ass and be there for her. So yeah, she's pissed, I can tell you as much. So am I. But it's up to you to clear all this with her."

He frowned, probably not expecting me to get so riled up over this. "I told you to leave her alone," he defended himself.

But I was riled up over it, more than I had thought as I realized. "No, DK, you never really tried to stop me. You may have said something from time to time, but never sounding very convincing, always just standing by and letting it happen. For heaven's sake, Duncan, she's your sister! The girl you claim to be the love of your life. But you never helped her, never stood by her."

"As if you would have listened to me!" he retorted, but his cheeks reddened. "You can't blame me for this!"

"Perhaps, perhaps not," I gave back. "My best friend trying to talk sense into me when I was blinded by rage may have helped. To know the fact that she was actually your and Lilly's sister may have helped also. You want to know the truth? I feel like shit for what I've put her through. But don't worry, I know full well that I'm the only one to blame for this. It could have been different though. Especially for her. I'll get over the obvious lack in trust in me, Buddy, don't worry, but you ask me, you owed it to her to stand with her, instead of letting the hounds shred the girl we loved so much too pieces."

"And who was the one leading those hounds, huh?" Duncan sneered, his face twisted in rage now. "You have no right to put this one on me. You were the one who couldn't stand the mention of her anymore. You were the one who hated her with such a passion. And you were also the one who reveled in hurting her, time and time again." He got up and came over to me, poking me in the chest. "I tried to talk to you. I tried to stop you. But you wouldn't listen! You never listen. You declared her to be the enemy and that was it and nothing I would have had to say about this would have ever changed that."

His words stung, probably because they were so goddamn true. But I still had to say a few things on my own. "At least I was honest to her! She always knew where to stand with me. And when it counted, I was finally there for her. When was the last time you were actually open to her? Or to me, for that matter? Where were you this past year and a half, Duncan? Sure as hell not there for us."

"I've lost my sister!" Duncan screamed, his face reddening.

"Damn, Duncan, you weren't the only one! Ronnie may not have known about her true relationship but she still had always loved Lilly like her sister. And by God, I loved Lilly too. You weren't the only one hurting. And if you selfish bastard wouldn't have lost yourself so much in your own misery but would have fought to deal with it instead of becoming that soulless robot you've been after her death then things would probably have been different, for all of us," I shot back, my hands fisting.

I truly believed in this. Duncan had always been able to talk sense into us, well, me and Lilly, being the levelheaded one of the four of us. If he hadn't drawn back as he had, but would have left us help him, talk to both, Ronnie and me, then I'm sure it would have been different, us not being so fucking alone in our pain.

Duncan glared at me, his hands fisted as well. I didn't care. Perhaps a real fight would snap him out of whatever state he was in, giving me back my best friend.

"Want me to go get Sam back for playing referee? He was in a wrestling team for twenty years, you know?"

We both jerked around. Ronnie was leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed. She definitely wasn't happy about the scene she just had walked in and I bet I'd get to hear an earful about it. Back-Up, sitting dutifully at her feet, eyed us warily too, glancing up at his mistress as if to ask if he should knock some sense into us.

Strangely, I relaxed, my anger leaving me. I was familiar with this sensation, but I had to admit I wasn't accustomed to it anymore. She always had had a knack of calming me down, simply by being there and that effect of hers on me had even strengthened this time around. And even more so since yesterday night. Of course, she was also the one person who could rile me up more than anyone else.

"Veronica."

Momentarily having forgotten my best friend, I glanced at him. He too had loosened the fists and seemed to have lost most of the rage, but he was terribly tense instead.

"Duncan," she nodded, briefly meeting his eyes, then looking away, towards me. "Sam is gone," she told me.

I nodded. "Need help unpacking?"

But she shook her head. "No, I'll wait with that until the rest of my stuff gets here. I wondered if you're up for a trip to the beach? Back-Up needs a bit of exercise, being holed up for the better part of the past two days."

"Sure," I agreed, perhaps a bit too eagerly. But hell, I was glad to get away from this depressing place for a while. I hesitated though, glancing at Duncan then back to Veronica, the question in my eyes.

She remained silent.

Fine by me.

"I guess we'll see us later, DK," I told Duncan, moving over to join Veronica. Back-Up stood up, wagging furiously with his tail as he briefly licked my fingers.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Duncan clench his jaw. Back-Up had never warmed up much to Duncan and it was nothing new that Duncan didn't like that Ronnie's dog had always liked me - and obviously still did. His eyes were fixed on Veronica though, who ignored him. She was tensing under his gaze though and with a barely noticeable nod she slid around the door, out of Duncan's eyesight.

With a last glance at my best friend, I followed, suppressing a sigh. This had not gone too well. And if those two continued with this behavior, it would be some long months until Ronnie's birthday.

* * *

Veronica was surprisingly quiet on the drive to the beach. Not that I complained. The way I figured it she only would bicker about my, well, fight with Duncan, so silence was immensely better. I wasn't keen on getting into a fight with my girlfriend within the first twenty-four hours of our relationship, no matter how typical that would be for us.

But when she still remained silent even after walking quite a bit on the beach, Back-Up running and jumping around us and back and forth, I did become a tad bit nervous. Another ten minutes and I cracked finally. "Okay, how much did you hear and just what made you that angry?"

After all, I could hardly defend myself as long as I didn't know what exactly maddened her so much.

She eyes me briefly before looking away again. "I'm not angry."

"Yeah sure," I snorted. If that was not angry, what was angry then? "Look, I didn't intend to fight with Duncan, okay? I wanted some answers yeah and damn, he owed them to me. It just got out of hand, one thing leading to another."

Sighing, Veronica stopped and turned towards me. "Logan, really - I'm not mad."

I frowned. "Then why are you so silent?"

She shook her head. "I haven't heard it all - but I heard the last bit. It just got me thinking."

I wasn't sure I liked that better. Ronnie thinking could be a dangerous thing. "About what?"

"Do you really think it would have made a difference?" she asked, her face wistful. "Us talking to each other instead of making blind accusations and confront each other, just taking the bait and paying back with the same coin?"

Oh. Well... "Yeah. Yeah, I think it would have helped us, saved us all a lot of misery."

"I'm not so sure. You've been so angry, I've been so hurt by both you and Duncan and Duncan, well, Duncan was just not himself." Her eyes bored into mine. "And if you're right - then it's all our faults, yours, mine, Duncan's..."

I shifted, looking away, thinking back. "Yeah, I know," I admitted grudgingly.

We were silent for a long time. Her next words surprised me.

"I'm almost sure that it hadn't been Duncan."

My eyes fixed back on hers. Most part of me was glad to hear this, because really, Duncan just couldn't be Lilly's killer. But some petty part in me worried how she came to that conclusion all of a sudden.

"Why?"

"Because I recognized the pain in him when he was forced to talk about her. I could be wrong, it could be guilt - but I don't think so." She hesitated, her eyes searching mine. "I know you hate lying to him. Perhaps we should talk to him, tell him what we know."

It was my turn to be silent. Sure, I'd like to be open with my best friend - but was she really suggesting this for me - or were her own feelings for him the main motivator?

"I don't think it's wise to tell him about our suspicion that it might have been Jake or Celeste - but he lives in that house, he was the one who found her - and on the bottom line, he's the one who knew Lilly best. I think she told him more than either of us are aware of - or he just figured out a lot of it on his own." She took a deep breath. "Lilly told me she had a secret, a good one, the day she died. You know the kind of secrets that excited Lilly as well as me. I'm sure it got something to do with her murder. I've tried to figure it out, without any luck. You don't know it either. The only one I can think of who knows what she may have meant is Duncan. It could be the key."

Her points were valid, sure. But there was still this slight doubt, especially after learning that Lilly had wanted to tell everyone about Jake and Leanne's affair and Veronica possibly being the result of that liaison. "Lilly wanted to make Jake's affair public."

For a moment, pain flickered over Ronnie's face, before she gave a tight nod. "I figured as much. This was just the scandal she would have loved to cause. Especially it also being such an affront to Celeste. It's one of the reasons why the Kane's are such high suspects on my list."

Tentatively, I grabbed hold of her arms. "Doesn't it bother you how much it would have hurt you?"

Again she sighed. "Not really. Lilly just was like that. She never thought about the downside of something or how much she might hurt someone else in the process. Or has her knowledge that her flirting around hurt you ever stopped her? It doesn't mean she didn't love us. She did. I know that." She looked at me questioningly. "And that's why we stayed with her, isn't it?"

Yeah, about that... "Why don't we sit down for a while?" I asked, gesturing down.

Her eyebrows rose in suspicion, but she shrugged and let herself sank gracefully down. I followed her, facing her. There was something she needed to know, for the sake of her mind if not also mine. "I loved Lilly," I said after a moment.

Her eyebrows arched up more. "I know."

I nodded. "But you should know that this last break-up we had - this was it, Veronica. We wouldn't have gotten back together. Not again. I'm fairly certain we'd have stayed friends - after some time at least," I swallowed, the next bit not exactly easy to admit to your girlfriend. "And I'm sure we'd have had an occasional fuck, 'cause the sex was really good. But that was it. Lilly and I wouldn't have gotten it more together than that again."

She looked extremely doubtful, so I continued. "And that would mostly have been my decision. Frankly said, I was tired of being jerked around by her, of her making a fool out of me. I knew she was a helpless flirt. And I also knew she was screwing around on me. I... I was pretty angry about that and hurt. But that weekend I was away, the weekend she died - I came to terms with that. Well, originally, I wanted to talk to her about it, but when I saw her, how happy she was and how she so very much did not miss me, I just knew it. That it was over. So I just left her a note, together with one of those tequila shot glasses she liked so much in her car and left again, heading back South, needing to get away." I swallowed, aware that this admission probably would prompt questions. "I just need you to know that. That her and I were truly and definitely over."

She was quiet.

When it got too much, I pleaded. "Ronnie?"

"You were here that weekend?" she finally asked, tonelessly.

Shit. I had hoped she wouldn't dwell on that. Then again, I should have known better. "Yeah."

"When exactly?" she asked, her voice suddenly sharp.

I sighed. "The day she died. I've seen you at the car wash."

"But Dick and Cassidy..."

"I didn't ask them to omit the truth. And I was back in Mexico by the evening." I shook my head, suddenly getting annoyed. "Come on, you don't actually believe that I killed her in a rage after all?" Even the thought she could think something like that of me hurt. "You can check the border records if you absolutely need to. They should show that by the time she was killed, I was gone a long way from Neptune again."

Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "I insinuated nothing like that, Logan. I never believed for a second that you could have killed Lilly. You may be a real asshole and I know you never hesitate to jump at the opportunity of a fight, but I know you'd never hurt a girl physically, let alone kill a girl you love. How can you think that I'd believe something like that of you, after everything that happened? After not even twenty-four hours later of becoming a couple, right here on this beach? Do you really think so lowly of me?"

"Of course not!" I protested, glaring at her. "But may I remind you that you've become highly suspicious of everyone this past year? In the past six months you accused me of stealing my mother's money and getting a woman fired that was more or less my nanny since having moved here, that I sliced your tires, smuggled drugs and launched a real low dirt attack against a girl who hardly ever registered on my radar. I know we've not been on the best of terms then, but news flash, Mars, I still did not enjoy all this shit much!" Her eyes widened and my hands flexed. I tried to calm down but apparently it was the day of unwanted fights on my part for me as I continued. "It hurt, Ronnie, that you could really think so lowly about me. The girl and tires I may have understood though you should take note that I never sank to so amateur revenges as slicing up tires – but the drugs and the stealing of my mother's credit card… How could you ever believe me capable of such things, huh Veronica? We were friends dammit! You're supposed to know me better than most people – perhaps even the best because you can truly say you know each side of me, the good and the bad. You should have known that I'd never be so stupid to deal drugs. And you fucking should have known that I'd never touch Mom's credit card, besides the fact that I never in my live was in need of money."

Okay... looked as if there were still some issues between us. But I couldn't help feeling hurt by her false accusations. It had unnerved me to no end that it bothered me that Veronica would think me capable of such things, making me only more angry with the tiny blond one.

Her eyes had widened, staring at me.

Shaking my head, I shook my head and made to stand up again. "Just forget it."

Her hand shot out to grab my arm. "No, Logan, no, I will not forget this," she emphasized. "Sit down again and let's talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. It's the past. We've already agreed that we're past that," I sighed, but sat down again.

"We've decided that what happened after Lilly's death with us and the following war between us was over for good - this is something different and we obviously need to talk about this if it lets you to believe that I'd think you capable of killing Lilly - and if it's still hurts you that much," she finished, much softer.

I look away, not knowing what to say.

"Look, Logan - I've already told you that I've sort of grown a pretty big trust issue this past year," she said quietly and I looked back at her. As if I haven't noticed that. "But you need to understand that everything that happened after Lilly's death sort of can shatter any person's confidence. Especially..." she stopped herself and looked away. I frowned. But then she sighed and shook her head. "Mom leaving was a hard blow. Losing you and Duncan another. And then all the things I had to go through at school... Finding out about this conspiracy around Lilly's murder, making her killer probably someone who we know didn't help either. Nor does all the PI stuff I've been doing. Have you any idea how many people betray the people they supposedly love? By having affairs, stealing money or other valuable things, forcing each other out of business, and, and, and..."

"This may all be true, but still - you should have known better," I point out, still feeling quite offended.

Veronica shrugged. "When those things happened - yeah, I did put you on the suspect list. Because that's what I do nowadays. I disregard my feelings for those people and what I think I know of them and then proceed to prove the truth - no matter how it turns out. And for what it's worth: I didn't really want to believe you doing those things. To be honest, having all evidence pointing at you - and sorry, Logan, but that it had - it disappointed me so much. And that in turn made me mad, because I obviously still couldn't treat you like any other suspect, our past friendship always coming in the way, my initial reaction always deny you being capable of those things. So I was pretty harsh when confronting you."

I frowned, this sounding a lot familiar. I sure know how it felt to have to realize that I wasn't as indifferent towards Veronica Mars as I believed.

"And may I remind you that I was also the one who found out it had been Chardo steeling the credit card after all? Or that I was the one to tell you where you could find him?" she asked, her voice taking on slight annoyance.

Yeah, that she had. Surprising the hell out of me - not to mention confusing me to no end.

"As for the drugs - you're wrong when you think I really thought you took the drugs. I didn't. Despite you being the prime suspect. Because you'd have to be marginally stupid to have gotten involved with drugs and you are many things, but not stupid." I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not about her statement. "But Luke told me that you at least knew about the drugs and - well, I was disappointed. Plus..." she sighed and looked miserable for a moment. "I really didn't want Troy to be the one who took the drugs. That's why I confronted you at all."

Well, looking at it like that... And considering how I've felt after finding out about Caitlin's treachery I guess I couldn't blame her that much anymore for accusing me. Studying her for a moment, I said something that I've burned to say for months now. "Vandegraff was a bastard, Ronnie." I hesitated for a moment before continuing. "To be honest, I never liked seeing you with him."

She met my eyes. "Because me seeing him meant that I was at least partly back in the 09er circle?"

I smiled ruefully. "Yeah, at least that was what I told myself." I looked pointedly at her. "Thinking back now I guess me wanting to rip his head off anytime he got too close to you may have perhaps more to do with me already having the hots for you. And also with that old habit to scare away any would-be suitors."

Holding my eyes, she smirked. "Boy, that must have irked you."

"You have no idea," I admitted and shrugged. "It was the first time someone dared to flirt with you again. It was just wrong." I scowled. "But seriously, Ronnie: you should never have gotten involved with that bastard."

Ronnie narrowed her eyes but then she shrugged. "You got that right for sure. Did you know that he had a girlfriend, all the time he had been with me? She was in drugs too."

At that information I growled. "A bastard and an idiot then. I could find him and give him what he deserves, if you'd like that," I offered, smiling maliciously. I always had itched to pummel in Vandegraff's face.

Laughing, she patted my knee. "Reign in the horses, caveman. I appreciate the sentiment but trust me, I made him pay enough already."

Considering what I knew her capable of I believed that one without any hesitation. Good. I still would have loved to beat him up a little, but at least he got what he deserved.

"And as we're already at the topic of past mistakes in our love life: I seriously hated the thought of you and Caitlin Ford. I mean, seriously - what on Earth had you been thinking, hooking it up with _her_?" she asked, disgusted.

Highly amused I grinned. "Obviously not at all." Turning serious, I thought for a moment. "I dunno, Ronnie. I missed being in a relationship but at the same time the memory of Lilly was still so fresh and painful. Caitlin came on to me, I was drunk and she was so different from her so I thought what the hell, why not. Not my smartest decision, I know."

Ronnie nodded slowly. "When Troy pursuit me I was flattered. And it felt so good to be - noticed again, after such a long time of being ignored by guys other than to be made fun of because of my shining reputation. I think that was mostly why I started dating him in the first place, me being so desperate to move on and grasping the opportunity." She blushed a little. "As for Caitlin - boy, did I enjoy proving her the two-timing bitch she was. I didn't even feel bad about ruining the relationship for you. Then again, I knew it wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway. Your heart never was in it and you had that bored look whenever you were together with her."

I raised an eyebrow. "You sure had a close eye on me, huh? What was it? Silently pining away for me after all?"

She mustered up a half-hearted glare. "Jackass."

I grinned widely. "Pixie."

We shared a long, intense look that had both of us smiling, my heart beating a bit faster. "I forgive you - for doubting me," I said after a moment, seriously.

"And I for making me doubt you in the first place," she countered and took my hand into hers. "I do trust you, Logan. You proved that to me so many times these past days, that I know now that I can trust you implicitly." Her thumb stroked over the back of my hand. "I'm glad you told me the truth about your Mexican trip. And like said: I don't believe you being able to ever kill someone, let alone Lilly."

My throat suddenly feeling awfully thick, I merely nod, not trusting my voice. But it meant a lot to hear her say this. A very lot.

"For you, I'll just make an exception from my usual principles on only believing the evidence. I don't need it to prove your innocence," she continued, squeezing my hand. "But please don't flip out now when I tell you that we still have to get those border reports. And we should try to find that letter you said you wrote to her, and the tequila shot."

I started to protest, but she interrupted me before I even got a word out, squeezing a bit harder. "When we prove that Koontz didn't kill Lilly once and for all, the investigation will be reopened. And when word gets out that you've been in Neptune that day, they will so come after you. We need to be prepared about that. Lambs an idiot. I know him. He'll just settle on you then, because you as Lilly's betrayed boyfriend will be the perfect suspect and as he doesn't like you he'll try to make you take the fall for it even harder. So you need to tell me everything you remember of that day. And try to remember if you paid anything with your credit card that could prove you not being in Neptune anymore at the time of Lilly's murder because we can't be sure that the border actually registered you - or still has the reports of a day more than a year ago."

As her words slowly started to seep in, I felt myself panicking. Shit. Shit. The police was going to come after me? For killing _Lilly_? But... "Dick and Beaver won't talk. I didn't even ask them to lie for me in the first place, why should they now suddenly start to tell the truth?"

"I do hope that they'll stick to their story. This way you won't be bothered and the police can concentrate on finding the real killer - should we have no success finding him. But we can't solely rely on the Casablancas to keep their silence," Veronica insisted. "You never know what may happen. Perhaps, Dick or Cassidy want to get even someday with you. Perhaps one or both of them break under a real interrogation. Perhaps, one of them suddenly grows a conscious after hearing that Lilly's killer is still at large and decides to come forward, suspecting you after all. Or perhaps, someone remembers having seen you in Neptune that day and Lamb puts two and two together. He's an idiot and an asshole but he _was_ trained by Dad and Sam as well after all. If he had been quite that dense Dad would have fired him a long time ago."

"Perhaps we can get him fired before the shit hits the fan?" I asked hopefully.

She gave me a small smile. "Sure am with you there. Unfortunately, I fear that's unlikely. He'd at least need to piss off some big shot like Jake Kane or your dad in order to achieve that and he's too of a suck-up for that."

"I don't want to go to prison, Veronica," I admitted, dejected.

"You won't. I'm not letting that happen," Veronica promised fiercely and I had to smile.

"And how do you want to stop that?"

"Simply. By proving who the real killer is," she said, determined.

I reached out to cup her cheek. "Thank you. And I think I haven't told you that I love you yet, today: I love you."

Much to my pleasure, she blushed furiously, at a loss of words. Not that she needed to say anything as I took care of that by kissing her long and deeply and her kiss said all she couldn't say out loud yet. Her kisses and her actions.

We got rudely interrupted by Back-Up jumping me from behind, causing me to lose my balance and sprawl into the sand. Sputtering, I glared at the smug looking dog and my girlfriend who was busy laughing her tiny ass off.

"I think Back-Up wants to tell us something," she giggled.

"What? That I'm only good enough as a chap but not for becoming his new daddy?" I muttered darkly, eying the pit-pull.

Ronnie had the nerve to laugh even harder. "I thought rather that he wanted to remind us to play with him and not with each other. I mean, who are we to be fooling around at the beach without him?"

Back-Up barked in agreement, jumping back and forth between us.

"But of course you may be right as well. He's not used to see me kissing guys after all," Ronnie added, still grinning from ear to ear.

"He better not," I grumbled and got back on my knees, making eye-contact with Back-Up. "And if you see anyone else but me kissing your mistress you better bite off that guys' dick, boy. But you better learn to not interrupt us like that again," I instructed him, looking sternly.

He whined, looking back at Veronica.

She just rolled her eyes and shrugged. Spotting the stick he had let fallen beside me, I sigh and took it, hurling it as far away as I could, watching him shooting after it.

"You tell _my _dog to bite off a guy's dick if he kisses me?"

Looking back up to her, I smirk at her raised eyebrows. "Course, 'cause any guy doing that would be doing so against your will and therefore deserves the worst this beast you call a dog can give him, isn't it so, my dear little pixie?" I asked knowingly.

"God, you're worse than Dad and Sam together."

My grin growing bigger, I held up a finger. "Ah no, I tend to disagree: I only object to other guys kissing my girlfriend while I very much are for you and me kissing and making out and having sex one day which, as I believe, was definitely not what your dad would have tolerated or that human pit-pull guarding your honor now."

She rolled her eyes again.

"Am I interrupting?"

Looking up, I saw Weevil standing a few feet away, his eyebrows slightly up. "What does it look like, Paco?" I sneered, getting up to my taller self.

"Logan, be nice," Ronnie told me with an eyeroll and then waved Weevil over. "And no, you're not interrupting, Eli. Got something for me?"

He had interrupted, I thought grumpily, and wondered for just how long he had watched us already. I guessed not too long, or he'd have interrupted us before Back-Up had the chance - and he'd be scowling more at me.

I haven't missed the way the guy looked at Veronica, already for a while. And how he looked at her now.

Well, too late. He wouldn't be able to get this girlfriend of mine to cheat on me with him, I thought with smug satisfaction. Ronnie wouldn't do that to me, being loyal to the core. Thank God. The least I could use was another flirt and cheat like Lilly or Caitlin.

Of course he didn't know yet that Ronnie was off limits now - a clear downside of our plan to keep our relationship between us for now as I realized darkly at that moment. Damn. And it wasn't just Weevil. There was also that dopey detective weaseling around my girl.

Fuck.

How was I going to get them to back off without blowing our cover?

"Really?" I heard Ronnie ask excited, interrupting my gloomy musings, and I looked over at her, seeing her eager face. Looked like I've missed something. "What is it?"

Weevil shifted and I realized suddenly that he was wary of sharing whatever he knew. "Look, V, it's just rumors. Doesn't mean it has actual value."

"Yeah, yeah, I've got that. Now tell me what you've learned," Veronica waved his wariness away.

Much to the biker's displeasure. And when he actually made brief eye contact with me I knew that this wasn't good. Growing wary myself, I moved closer to Veronica.

"Rumor on the street is that the sheriff's murder is tied with the Kovalovs," Weevil finally talked, unhappily. "It's said the sheriff found some hard evidence that could them get into prison for years - and some of them on death row."

Kovalovs? Who the hell were the Kovalovs?

Ronnie frowned. "Dad never mentioned anything alike." She thought for a moment. "Then again, if it really got the Kovalovs involved he probably wouldn't have said anything to me anyway. To not worry me and mostly to keep me out of it." Pain flashed over her face. "The less I know, the safer I am, that's what he used to tell me when he was still sheriff and I asked him about his cases."

Apparently, it was common knowledge who those Kovalovs were - at least to the likes of gangsters and PIs. "Who are the Kovalovs?" I asked, looking from Ronnie to Weevil and back, pretty sure I wasn't going to like the answer.

"Head of the Russian mafia of the West coast," Veronica answered. "They're bad news. Porn, kiddie porn, drugs, weapons, they have their hands in all of it. People resisting their harassment or even openly going against them have the habit of disappearing forever. The authorities think they've got at least around eighty bodies buried somewhere, not counting the lives ruined and lost through their dirty businesses."

"In short, they're the last people you'd want to have on your bad side," Weevil nodded, his eyes boring into Veronica. "Seriously, V: you do not want to get involved with those guys."

Her face hardened. "If they are the ones who've killed my father, I don't have a choice in that. I'm not letting Dad's killers go unpunished."

Weevil shook his head. "I admit you're not half bad, chica - but you ain't got a fucking chance with the likes of the Kovalovs."

She met his eyes. "I'll be careful."

"You really think you're better than your old man?" Weevil challenged her and she stiffened, glaring at him. "You're not," he said quietly. "You go up against them, you'll end up as dead as the sheriff - only that they'll perhaps first will want to have their fun with you. I don't think you'll like being the star in one of their porn, V."

At that visual I suddenly felt sick.

Over my dead body.

Ronnie too had a bit blanched, but she balled her fists and held up her head. "Like said, I'll be careful. But if I find out that they really are the ones responsible for Dad's murder, they are going down." Her eyes took on that stubborn glee I only knew too well and fear gripped every single one of my inner organs. "If Dad really had evidence on them I bet it's still somewhere. I'll find it. And then I'll see to it that it gets turned in."

Weevil shook his head, scowling and for once I could only agree. What the fuck was Ronnie thinking? That was way too dangerous! It was bad enough that she was already risking herself like she did to find Lilly's murderer, but to tackle the whole freaking Russian mafia? Was she aiming to get killed too, for Heaven's sake?!

"I figured you'd go that way," Weevil sighed and gave her an aggravated look. "Just think it over, V, before you do anything rush."

She merely nodded.

Unhappy, Weevil shook his head and looked away.

"Can I count on you?"

That I wasn't even annoyed at her quiet question showed pretty good just how scared I was.

Weevil looked back at her and sighed again, heavily. "I'll keep my eyes and ears open. I hear something, I'll tell you. But I've got little sisters and brothers. And I'm responsible for my boys. I won't risk them for this, V, I can't do that."

"And I won't ask you to. It's enough if you just pass on what you hear. Thanks, Eli," Veronica replied with another nod.

He snorted. "Nothing to thank me for, V. This probably is your death sentence."

With a last unhappy look her way, Weevil left.

I said nothing, my head turned away. But I felt her eyes on me.

"Logan?"

She was going to get killed and there was nothing I could do to stop that. One way or another, she was going to get herself killed.

"Logan, please..."

Her hand touched my arm, but I shook my head and walked away.

I couldn't do this. Not again. She wanted to get killed so desperately? Fine. But without me.

* * *

TBC!

_(Author's note: No, I haven't forgotten about this. I would never! But RL has ways to get in the way - as well as other bunnies. Thanks to all of you who still keep nagging me about updating. It reminds me every time that I made a promise when first posting this baby, one I have no intention whatsoever to break. So really, thank you all for the wonderful reviews and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter!)_


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